I'd like to ask older folks in particular, say people over 50, if you're embarrassed by your illness. Do you feel as though, at your age, you should have gotten over whatever mental health problems you face? Do you ever feel like it is a sign of your lack of maturity that you're still subject to the whims of your emotions? This is the way I feel. I'm in my 60's now. And I guess I always envisioned older people as having achieved a level of contentedness that would gradually reduce or eliminate any mental health problems that they may have had earlier in life. However, for me, it seems like the older I get, the crazier I get! It's embarrassing!

[Moodswing]

I am 46yrs old and shhhhhhhh!! No one knows! Not even my husband. He thinks I go to therapy because I don't like myself. He NEVER asks questions.

Originally Posted by Moodswing

I am 46yrs old and shhhhhhhh!! No one knows! Not even my husband. He thinks I go to therapy because I don't like myself. He NEVER asks questions.

Between my wife & I we have what I call: a "don't ask. don't tell" policy. She doesn't ask & I don't tell...

[yellowted]

I am in my 40's it took a while for me to be ok within myself that sxxt happened and it fxxd me up. but now i realise it was not my doing, i am ok talking about it especially as it is a rare dx. I have a wicked sense of humour and so do some friends of mine, when we get together we wind eachother up in a good way, often one of them tells me i am mad, to which i reply 'I know, i have been certified so what's your excuse!'
I see my m/h dx as a ticket to be the real me, not the person others think i should be, so i now do not care if i am a bit excentric or crazy at times as long as i don't hurt or offend others i see no problem in it.

[Leed]

I'm 64, and you'd think by now that - like you say - I'd be sitting here content, having "found" myself and solved all my problems.

Oh brother. I feel like I'm still about 25yrs old. Many of the problems I USED to have are gone, but I always manage to come up with more. Good grief, won't it ever stop?

I've been in therapy off and on all my adult life, and I'm sick of it. I just plain refuse to go back -- I pretty much know what I should do. And it's nothing serous anyway.

And since it's nothing serious, I'll just deal with it on my own. But darn it, I wish I was like my grandmother -- she was so content in her faith. I just can't get there. NUTS.

Oh well -- Being a nut case can be interesting, I have to admit. God bless everyone! Hugs, Lee

[winter4me]

Originally Posted by Bedobones

I'd like to ask older folks in particular, say people over 50, if you're embarrassed by your illness. Do you feel as though, at your age, you should have gotten over whatever mental health problems you face? Do you ever feel like it is a sign of your lack of maturity that you're still subject to the whims of your emotions? This is the way I feel. I'm in my 60's now. And I guess I always envisioned older people as having achieved a level of contentedness that would gradually reduce or eliminate any mental health problems that they may have had earlier in life. However, for me, it seems like the older I get, the crazier I get! It's embarrassing!

YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am 60...

Sorry I'm not near 60 yet, but I wanted to say that in some ways I feel that having some people in my life know has been helpful, until they start figuring that what my diagnosis is means that I'm the same as the next person with depression and bipolar, or when they seem to avoid me whenever I act a little differently. Some people I wish didn't know, and then they could just see me for who I am. It's difficult, last week I had a friend who criticised me, and she said, " I don't know if this is your personality, or your bipolar", and I had just told her I was diagnosed bipolar a few weeks before. That was hard to take. Because in a way, I feel like its all just who I am anyways.
And yes, it can be embarrassing to have not reached getting over my mental health problems, and it does seem to have to do with maturity as well.

[IowaFarmGal]

I think some of the symptoms are better, but it still messes up my life at 59. This last time I lost my job I just don't have any hope of rebuilding or having a career at this point. Embarassed when I meltdown, sometimes yes if people see.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I'm not 60 but my Grandmother didn't hit her "All is well with me and the world" until she was about 75-80. She is my idol I guess you could call her. To be able to laugh when your cracked out son goes on a crazy binge is ideal for me. Super stresser here.

I wouldn't be embarrassed though if I reached 60 and was still at this point in life. However I would be saddened that so much time had passed and I could never really enjoy the life I was given. I'm not embarrased now though, I believe EVERYONE in this world needs therapy at some point, those who deny it are worse off than those who accept it.

[avlady]

I'm 52 and am on ssi and ssd so i can't really say if i missed much in life because of my illness, i just know i need certain caregivers, i mean docs and T's. I dad work all together about 10 years out of my life and would still love to be able to work, but because of my symptoms am unable to. Well i don't think i'm senile yet but i feel it coming!!!

Originally Posted by yellowted

I am in my 40's it took a while for me to be ok within myself that sxxt happened and it fxxd me up. but now i realise it was not my doing, i am ok talking about it especially as it is a rare dx. I have a wicked sense of humour and so do some friends of mine, when we get together we wind eachother up in a good way, often one of them tells me i am mad, to which i reply 'I know, i have been certified so what's your excuse!'
I see my m/h dx as a ticket to be the real me, not the person others think i should be, so i now do not care if i am a bit excentric or crazy at times as long as i don't hurt or offend others i see no problem in it.

Hi Yellowted: Thanks for commenting on my post! BTW, I love your avatar! A swan is my avatar on YouTube. Yes, I take a certain pleasure in referring to myself a "crazy". (My wife is less entusiastic.) I also try to use it to be somewhat the person I really am... but to truly do this, would require some MAJOR changes (I'm transgendered as well as having major depression & anxiety disorder...) So although it helps, I still am "hiding" allot of what I consider to be my "true self".

[shortandcute]

Oh, yeah! I was just thinking about that the other day. I am 50 years old, and I often feel real embarrased that I have no real job experience due to my disability, that I must be very immature for my age, that I should've done better with my life.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Bedobones

Hi Yellowted: Thanks for commenting on my post! BTW, I love your avatar! A swan is my avatar on YouTube. Yes, I take a certain pleasure in referring to myself a "crazy". (My wife is less entusiastic.) I also try to use it to be somewhat the person I really am... but to truly do this, would require some MAJOR changes (I'm transgendered as well as having major depression & anxiety disorder...) So although it helps, I still am "hiding" allot of what I consider to be my "true self".

Oh, I hear ya on that one!!

I used to feel ashamed but now I simply see myself as a survivor of a lot of eff'd up things and people in my past. They have no control / power over me any longer. All that is in the rear view. Or at least I try!

That said, I also wish I didnt have to take an Rx to prevent me from going back to a dark, sad place. I choose to keep that part to myself. To talk about that would also remind me of all the s*** I put up with and was exposed to, and I dont want to go there anymore. It hurts too much.

I hope that makes sense.

[Rose76]

I would say yes to everything you ask. It does feel awful. I was a far better functioning person in my 40's compared to in my 50's. It is leading me to complete despair.

I do think that people have less tolerance for unstable mood and behavior in a person of more mature years . . . more is expected. I feel developmentally behind my age cohorts. It's very saddening.

[Open Eyes]

I think that it is important to just realize we actually "grow" all our lives. None of us are "just like everyone else" either, we have our own lives to live, things to learn and things we didn't quite understand or know in our past too. I am in my 50's and I never expected to experience PTSD at this time in my life, I never realized what it really was and how much of a challenge it is either. I just do things one day at a time right now tbh.

[Tamster]

51 and terribly embarrassed . Who would understand someone who was very capable now being less so. Being sucessful for 47 years and falling in a hole.

[Rose76]

Wow . . . I guess I'm not alone. Others know the same pain. I guess that makes it less awful somehow. (((HUGS))) to everyone.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Bedobones

I'd like to ask older folks in particular, say people over 50, if you're embarrassed by your illness. Do you feel as though, at your age, you should have gotten over whatever mental health problems you face? Do you ever feel like it is a sign of your lack of maturity that you're still subject to the whims of your emotions? This is the way I feel. I'm in my 60's now. And I guess I always envisioned older people as having achieved a level of contentedness that would gradually reduce or eliminate any mental health problems that they may have had earlier in life. However, for me, it seems like the older I get, the crazier I get! It's embarrassing!

I have depression. That doesn't embarrass me. I think I have gotten over the majority of my "mental health problems" in that I am able to meet and interact with people; my social anxiety (which I didn't even know was social anxiety) is gone. I like meeting people and I can talk to just about anyone pleasantly although I prefer some people over others, conversation-wise. I don't think my emotions have whims. I view my emotions as gifts that are connected to me intellectually and spiritually and physically. I do think older people generally are more experienced in dealing with situations that might "stir up" emotions or negative reactions, and I have read that some mental illnesses are not as extreme as people age. I would guess individual results (so to speak) vary, though.

I have observed that people who have worked really hard to react a certain way to situations (like you'd work a muscle) are generally effective in obtaining the expected result.

But!

This can be good or bad. Someone I know works very hard at being a helpless little girl. She works very hard at being helpless and when she talks about how helpless she is, she says it with pride. I don't doubt she is getting the result she thinks she wants.

However, she can't see that she could be even happier if she learned (and she could learn) to be an adult.

So I am in partial agreement with you. I do think it is a "lack of maturity" or maybe better said "a purposeful insistence on staying on the same dead-end path" that keeps people setting themselves up for staying in their ruts.

But a diagnosed medical condition can throw a monkey wrench in what I have said, too. I wouldn't look down on someone with diabetes getting sick after eating a sweet meal any more than I would at a person with a broken leg not being able to run.

But someone who has always allowed him or herself to be a door mat rather than learn to say no? I do believe that sort of condition is fixable.

But psychosis or other extreme conditions I wouldn't expect someone to fix on his or her own.

So how is your "crazier" expressing itself?

[Thunder Bow]

I am 66yo., and I still take 1170mg. of "Avatar" for A.L.A.D (Allagator Lizard Agitation Disorder). I am still going strong. I am not "Embarrassed" at all!

[anneo59]

yup! Absolutely!

Originally Posted by shortandcute

Oh, yeah! I was just thinking about that the other day. I am 50 years old, and I often feel real embarrased that I have no real job experience due to my disability, that I must be very immature for my age, that I should've done better with my life.

Yes... I had BIG plans for mine! Somewhere along the way, they got lost.

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm 64, and you'd think by now that - like you say - I'd be sitting here content, having "found" myself and solved all my problems.

Oh brother. I feel like I'm still about 25yrs old. Many of the problems I USED to have are gone, but I always manage to come up with more. Good grief, won't it ever stop?

I've been in therapy off and on all my adult life, and I'm sick of it. I just plain refuse to go back -- I pretty much know what I should do. And it's nothing serous anyway.

And since it's nothing serious, I'll just deal with it on my own. But darn it, I wish I was like my grandmother -- she was so content in her faith. I just can't get there. NUTS.

Oh well -- Being a nut case can be interesting, I have to admit. God bless everyone! Hugs, Lee

I couldn't have said it better!

Originally Posted by kelly4519

Sorry I'm not near 60 yet, but I wanted to say that in some ways I feel that having some people in my life know has been helpful, until they start figuring that what my diagnosis is means that I'm the same as the next person with depression and bipolar, or when they seem to avoid me whenever I act a little differently. Some people I wish didn't know, and then they could just see me for who I am. It's difficult, last week I had a friend who criticised me, and she said, " I don't know if this is your personality, or your bipolar", and I had just told her I was diagnosed bipolar a few weeks before. That was hard to take. Because in a way, I feel like its all just who I am anyways.
And yes, it can be embarrassing to have not reached getting over my mental health problems, and it does seem to have to do with maturity as well.

Please don't be sorry for not having reached 60 yet... getting old is nothing to crow about, from my perspective anyway. It's not like I did anything to accomplish it (LOL!) Yeah.. having other people know is a double-edged sword. I've pretty much chosen to keep it from everyone who doesn't have to know or who can't help but know.

Originally Posted by IowaFarmGal

I think some of the symptoms are better, but it still messes up my life at 59. This last time I lost my job I just don't have any hope of rebuilding or having a career at this point. Embarassed when I meltdown, sometimes yes if people see.

Yeah, me either. I haven' been employed for about 12 years. My wife works & supports us. It makes me feel guilty as hell. I'll be 65 next month so I've just aged into retirement. No one who is in their right mind would ever hire me now & I'm just too far gone anyway. So I have no plans to try.