So so so alone

Hugging pillows because I'm lame like that. I wish I had an electric blanket, 'cause then I'd wrap it around myself and pretend someone's holding me. Lately I've been needing to be held - really badly, to the point of tears. I cry because I am not loved and there's no one there to hold me. So I have to do with alternatives - like the pillows. I just wish I had someone real but I will never find love. I think it's the love I really want, more than the holding - yes. Too bad my life is cruel to me and love is the one thing I will never have. Oh well, at least I can pretend, right.

It is bad to feel alone - I hope this too passes before long.

Thank you. But it's not going to pass, because I'm not ever going to be loved or held by anyone real. I'll always feel like this.

I'm so sorry you feel so alone. It's a terrible feeling. Things change. They change all the time. I know you feel like nothing will ever change, but you just never know. When I feel down, i think things will never change. I tell myself that I'm being silly even thinking that things will change. But then they do change. (Not at all the way I planned though. But not a bad change.)



I don't know if it's the type of thing you're into, but there's a lot hugging that goes on in support groups. I used to go to a 12 step group and everybody hugged everybody else. We also really cared about each other.

I have a little dog that I really love. I don't know if dogs can love, but he really acts as if he loves me. My favorite thing is to have him sleep on my belly when I'm on the couch reading. Are there any little dogs you can borrow or rescue?

I know. You're not really looking for a solution, you just want people to know that you're so alone that it hurts.

I'm really sorry about that.

Hi ShyPoetGirl,
"not ever" going to be loved is a long time. sounds like forever.
That isn't possible. Things will change. If not now, they will eventually. Life is tough without someone. Sometimes, losing someone you love after many years is hard too.
Its a pain filled life. Sorry I have no words of wisdom, but you aren't alone. We are here for you listening.

The only thing I can tell you is that you do have a future, when you won't even realize it and then the ligot bulb will go off and you will realize this is it

Maybe. you are just pretending you will never have Love?

((((((ShyPoetGirl))))))
You're still young and time is crawling by at a painfully slow place. I'm not going to lie, it's going to feel like eons but you will eventually get away from your parents and out into the world. I know that doesn't help you right now, but it is something to look forward to.
Finding love and not being so alone: that will happen, too.

Thank you everyone.
I really don't have the energy at the moment to reply to each of you individually.
I know that I am young and that I have plenty of time to find someone...
but I don't see why anyone would ever want me, as I am hideously ugly and have a boring personality. I see other girls who are pretty and bubbly and outgoing and I think, well of course any guy would choose them over me. I have good qualities, but none of them are particularly desirable or pretty or sexy enough to attract anyone.
I just think that no one will ever love me, and no one ever has.
I've been alone and lonely all my life.

One day you will find someone - i used to think exactly like you myself. hang in there sweetie

.

This makes me feel better when I listen to this.

No problem about thanking us individually. Your thanks at the bottom of the replies means a lot. That's all we need.

And I felt the same way as you, but I was fat and weird. But not all guys like pretty and bubbly. And I've found that the guys who can appreciate other qualities tend to be really cool. My husband thought I was the coolest person in the world and I thought the same of him. We still think each other are pretty neat.

Sunrise doesn't last all morning
A cloudburst doesn't last all day
Seems my love is up and has left you with no warning
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away

Sunset doesn't last all evening
A mind can blow those clouds away
After all this, my love is up and must be leaving
It's not always going to be this grey

All things must pass
All things must pass away
All things must pass
None of life's strings can last
So, I must be on my way
And face another day

Now the darkness only stays the night-time
In the morning it will fade away
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time
It's not always going to be this grey

Thanks, Mr. Harrison, RIP

Did you find someone? How? Please tell me I am desperate.

Your story is eerily similar to mine then. I'm fat and weird myself. Of course, being ugly and socially awkward and boring doesn't help my situation much, either.

I know not all guys like bubbly and pretty girls... But it's been my experience that even the guys who like "alternative" girls completely overlook me, or else they view me in disgust.

I've heard people say that "every type has a fan club". But I've never seen a fan club for girls like me, so I have to assume such a fan club doesn't exist.

I'm glad you ended up finding someone anyway. I really don't feel much hope that I will ever do the same.