I honestly have no idea where I should put this thread.

So this past weekend, we had to take my 1 y.o. son to the hospital. When I got home from work he was acting weird. He usually sleeps around the time I get home so I wasn't completely alarmed at first. After I tried to nap with him for an hr or so my boyfriend had gone to his job. My son hadn't fallen asleep and was still aciting strange. So I ran through what every normal parent would, it was a hot day so I didn't know if maybe he was dehydrated. I asked my boyfriend if he had regular diapers, I took his temp, I gave him water. All appeared normal. So I drew a bath to see how he reacted and he usually loves it, but it looked like he was so out of it.I called my boyfriend and we took him to the hospital. I explained the situation to the doctors. They took their time, which got me really aggravated, because part of the problem was that he was breathing weird.

Later on after they tried a few things, they gave him steroids, epinephrine and something else, and they didn't work they transferred him to a different hospital about an hour away and by this time they had a little tube of oxygen I had to keep by his mouth and nose. I was in the back of the ambulance with him and boyfriend up front. He wasn't getting any better so they put gave him an iv, put oxygen tube in his nose, still had the other medicated oxygen we had to keep by his mouth, drew blood, etc. So I'm freaking out by this time and the nurse reassured us that it was really severe croup. So I was relieved that we were in a pediatric hospital and they knew it was something they could treat. A few hours later he still had made no progress so we got transferred to the pediatric icu.

From then on every thing got so much worse. His vitals were fine and he had finally fallen asleep at about 2 that following morning. They took a urine sample from him and that next morning around 8 informed us that they had found suboxone in his system. I was mortified and scared and angry and shocked all at once. My boyfriend admitted he was addicted to suboxone and had been struggling for a long timw.he never meant to have it around him, and he didn't even think it was a possibility he could have gotten ahold of any.

So from here cps and dcf were notified. We spoke with them and they came up with a safety plan. My son was allowed to go home with me after he was back to his normal self. But my boyfriend isn't allowed in the house, or to visit unless supervised and first checked for drugs. We had one home visit while I was still in the hospital with my son. And I have another on wednesday. I am adhering to everything they asked but I have never dealt with these people before and I have nothing to hide, the only thing I do is smoke cigarettes. But I'm so nervous. My boyfriend has been in contact with me and has since gone into outpatient treatment so he can still keep his job. But no one is happy with him obviouslly, and he's been having to sleep in the car away from the house. This whole thing has got me going crazy. My family fell apart right before my eyes. I have no one from my side of the family. So his sister has been helping babysit while I work.

My son almost died, I lost my boyfriend, I lost my family, I lost trust, I lost feelings. And everyone has been going nuts over the dirty details of the story and they act like I have a disease and won't talk to me, but ask other people. Somehow it got around that my boyfriend was a junkie, and I know what suboxone is for, but he has never ever shot up or done opiates. He started on suboxone because his cousin had done it. Etc. So I'm dealing with that. And his sister has been helping me out so much but she holds my son and won't put him down all day. And we just broke him of the habit of having to fall asleep on us and got him used to the pack and play and sleeping in his crib. Now on top of everything, ever since I've gone back to work he won't sleep in his crib and freaks out if he gets put down. I just want it all to stop and go away.

That is quite the weekend. And quite the story. Wow. I can only imagine how scary that must have been to go through. I am glad your son is ok. And most importantly, alive.

The doctors taking their time must have been infuriating. If there was nothing seriously wrong then they should let you know so you don't panic while waiting. And if their is something seriously wrong they need to get off their *** and make your son the top priority. It sounds like they did neither. That there was something seriously wrong but they took their time. Unreal.

I feel bad for your son having to go through such a traumatic experience. The oxygen tube, the iv, and everything else. I guess the only silver lining is that he's so young he'll most likely never remember most of it.

I hate to judge people I don't know but based on his reckless behavior your boyfriend shouldn't be allowed near the child for a very long time. If ever again. Unless he's the father I'd ditch him altogether. Leaving drugs around, or even having them in the house where there is a child is inexcusable and idiotic. Many years ago my brother left drugs lying around that my sister's cat ate and died from. That made me furious enough to not speak to my brother again for years. If it had been a one year old baby that lost its life because of his reckless behavior I might have killed him.

I can sense your frustration with the situation, but the important thing is the child is safe and sound and away from reckless people. That's what matters most. Everything else is background noise. Take a deep breath. And in the long wrong cherish every moment you have with your son. If nothing else what you went through shows just how quickly things can change for the worse. But they can just as quickly change for the better. Hang in there.

I am at a lost for words, but so happy to hear that your son is okay. I agree with Neurotic and felt it was worth repeating.

stephiifaye92
You will definitely remain in my thoughts. All of this stuff happening all at once is hard for anyone to deal with. You did well being able to write and reach out.

I hope you have a therapist or friend you can lean on. Were you assigned a social worker at the hospital? You might be able to get support or guidance from them? If the authorities are involved there should be someone assigned to you. Find out what services are available to you. Anyone in your position would need all the help they can get.

Keep writing. I find it helps me sort things out sometimes.

OMG thats sn awful thing to have to go through, i would dump this jerk for one thing, and get yourself a therapist to talk to.

I was assigned a dcf worker at the hospital. I have an open case. My son was able to come home with me, but I have a home visit on wednesday. I have no thing to hide, my house is clean, baby proofed, there's plenty of food, diapers, bath supplies, etc. But they still make me so nervous. Ivery never had to deal with them before and I wouldn't have had to if this never happened. But I just don't know what to expect. I'm still a mess from this whole thing and I can't get sleep. I left work 4 hrs early yesterday just for hopes I could get a nap, I did, but it's defi etly been putting me through hell.

I hope the visit Weds goes well. I would try not to stress too much about this. Most of these people just want to help you, not examine everything you do to tell you how wrong it is. What a horrible weekend, I'm so glad your baby is okay. Things may be less than idea for a bit, but this is just a temporary situation.

I would think being nervous would be a natural reaction.
Keep in mind that sleep is more important than people think.

What happened is not going to "stop" or "go away". You're incredibly fortunate, lucky, blessed that your baby is alive. A one year old getting a hold of a drug? Where were you? Who did you trust to watch him?

I was at work, I go in at 6 am get out at 230. My boyfriend, my son's father was at home watching him. Its not like I was off having fun not caring, or didn't know or trust the person taking care of him.

what a horrible weekend.

and what a shock

hope he's doing better now though

I'm glad CPS is helping you out. It sounds like it will be to your son's benefit if you have someone(s) assist you in recognizing who to trust your son with and who to trust, in general. People often call it "denial" when we trust the wrong people, or believe the lies some people tell us, but many times I think we're just naive and don't know any better. In that case, it can definitely help to learn how to recognize liars and how to set healthy boundaries.

I am here to support you, not judge you. I will be thinking of you today. Hope all goes well. and you get the support you need.

PS we are practically neighbors Ever been to Duguay's ? I know dumb question. I am powerless over their Buffalo chicken tenders

good luck

I have never heard of suboxone. I am so sorry for your fear and desperation! CPS will not take your son away! You did nothing wrong. And you took great care of your boy! I commend you! CPS will also! BF will undo his addiction and come back, I feel. In the mean time, bless your dear son and you. What a frightening thing to go through! My heart goes out to you.

what a scary thing to go through!
no one should be making you feel like any sort of bad mom, you saw there was something different about your son and you immediately took action! you did great and your son is alive because of your finely tuned mother instincts
i am so sorry about the cause of the whole scenario. what an incredibly hard thing to have to deal with. i'm glad your bf understood the severity of what happened (as the dad i'm not surprised, i hope they've also set him up with some counselling, he must be devastated. i can't imagine how he must feel but i assume quite responsible) with support i don't doubt he will be back on track very soon, most likely very very committed to his treatment and to making sure nothing like that ever happens again.
dealing with cps is scary, having an open file is scary. much like everyone else said, they're just making sure you have what you need to keep your child safe. you sound like a great mom and if you made it through what you just went through, i believe you can make it through the rest

((((stephiifaye92))))

Still thinking about you today and wanted to add.... if you see a tiny purple car zip through your town, that is me I zipped through it twice today already. (my newest favorite smiley)

Sorry to hear about your son. I hope he's doing better. Just follow the instructions the authorities to the letter. Unfortunately you may have to deal with your childcare dilemma for awhile unless you can find other childcare. It sounds like she may just want to comfort him...it may be a comfort to herself as well. Just try to take one day at a time. People will forget when things become old news. The only thing you have to prove is that you're a good parent.

Thank you everyone for being so kind, I'm having kind of a rough day today. The dcf worker had to cancel yesterday to take on another case and I still haven't heard from her when my new appointment is. I just want to get it over with and move on to the next step.my boyfriend does feel very awful and responsible and has been doing very well thus far, I've been keeping contact with him thru phone calls and texts.
I was already having a rough day thinking how all I wanted this summer was to take my son to lakes or the beach as a family and now I'm cooped up in my apartment. But anyway while I was at work he texted me, he had a seizure from the withdrawal and I'm so worried and I hate that I can't do anything, I am very greatful that my son is okay besides having night terrors, which is kind of a new battle in itself. I'm trying my very hardest to stay strong, but it's so hard and with everything else that has happened in my life recently I just feel likeevery step I try to take forward, and all the effort I put in to push through I just get knocked back 10, and it never really makes a difference how hard I try. I just always get screwed. I'm just having a bad day but I'm trying and will keep doing so.

It's too bad your son is too young to post here. I'd like to hear how he feels.

So, they expect you to take time off from your job again to be there for them.?

Call them. If your DCF worker is not available ask for her/his supervisor. Be proactive so you can get your child's father back in the house. If that is what you want? You will feel better once they leave the picture. I am surprised they took such drastic action in your case. But then again they have not been doing a good job in recent years.

emwell, Did you read the original post? The boyfriend allowed the toddler to be taken to the ER and put through tests and treatment all night before boyfriend admitted that, uh, gee, actually....the child had gotten into his (boyfriend's) suboxone.
This is someone who should be "back in the house" with the child? WHAT?

By the way, OP - you said your bf claims he's never done opiates. What do you think suboxone is? Either you're believing lies or you're lying through your teeth. Come on!

I pray CPS stays involved with the case. I seriously fear for that little boy.

I will reread the original post. I did not realize the father knew the boy had gotten into the drugs. That would change things

I posted here because I wanted to vent, I have nobody to really talk to. I was explaining my situation and then my feelings on it as I was feeling them days after. I understand what suboxone is. What I meant by what I typed before was that he had said he started with suboxone, he said he didn't have an addiction to percocet or vico din or whatever else before. Im not sharing this story to say I'm on his side. Its a pretty rough thing to lose your family in an instant. I was mortified when I found out what really happened. I don't share this story with people because even for me to tell it is embarrassing. It happened in my house. And I hate that it did. I wasn't aware of a horrible problem and I was working when this all happened. Its a huge mess. But excuse me for sharing to only have someone say I'm believing ******** or I myself am lying. I'm not defending my son's father to just put my son in jeopardy again. My son is my life, and the most important thing in it, bottom line. I was just explaining my feelings the other day because I was really really emotional.

"My boyfriend admitted he was addicted to suboxone and had been struggling for a long timw.he never meant to have it around him, and he didn't even think it was a possibility he could have gotten ahold of any."

I read the post to mean that the child was ill. So the mother took him to the hospital. I can be slow at times as I did not make the connection between the symptoms and the drug. Nor did I realize the father had as well. I thought the child was ill for another reason and they just happened to find the drug in his system. and the boyfriend confessed to being on it.

Still people do make terrible mistakes and can be forgiven. He probably feels worse than anyone else. Maybe this was the nightmare he needed to wake up