Love is not meant for me, heartbroken

I am so gullible. I've been played again. Only I'm the fool at work. I went out tonight to a song group thing. I saw trainer guy walk by holding hands with his petite girlfriend. He lives in a nearby town and it's a small town with a lake. Super busy summer night near the lake. I only got a glimpse but it was enough. Actions speak much louder that frivolous words. A lesson I seem to never learn.

Now I'm not sure how to act. Pretend his charade during our training class never happened? Make a remark about what I saw over the weekend? I'm really foolish and hurt by something I wasn't even looking for when it happened.

I would just do nothing if I were in your position.


I mean you knew he had a gf right? Unless I'm remembering a previous thread incorrectly, so whether he actually likes you or not is irrelevant as he's clearly not dumping his gf for you.


My advice? Don't get excited about anyone who's in a relationship, firstly them showing interest in you is already a negative reflection of them (they clearly don't respect commitment) and secondly, its just complicating something that should essentially be quite simple.


Now if the person is available, and appears to be a decent human being, then no reason to not indulge and see if romance blossoms.


Hope you feel better soon.

I would advice not to date at work as it complicates things. If a man bothers you with inappropriate comments tell him to stop and if he continues then report him to human resources. I don't know if he flirted or complimented you but if he has a gf and you work together it is better to keep your distance

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He did some stuff in front of HR, in front of VP. Etc. He's been there 20 years. He's pointed me out to all upper management and more in various ways.

He pointed you out? What do you mean? What stuff did he do?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Introduced me sort of. This is, my name, isn't she great? To a higher up who i still dont know who. A dept Mgr said OMG I get to talk to, my name. Just treated differently all over. Better than others from my class even.

Class member have said. You two are so cute together. He's so in love with you. Called him mine, Etc.

Oh honey, none of that means he's into you. All that means is that he's being nice.


Don't read so much into his words or actions, that's definitely how we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Him introducing you to people including higher ups and saying you are great doesn't mean he is flirting or likes you. Treating you well means you are a good employee. There is nothing romantic there.

Your class member is a total idiot. If a colleague told me that my boss or other coworker is in love with me, Id have a problem with that. Whatever reason that person had it is ridiculous thing to say ( I think classmate night be sarcastic or what not but it's still inappropriate)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

To answer your question if you should bring it up with the trainer. Absolutely not. You are going to look very bad. He will know you are into him and it might cause problems at work.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The class member may have been teasing you, but I agree with Divine it wasn't professional of them.

None of this means love is not meant for you, just not in this situation.

He professed in the class to love me, sorry I thought you guys knew that part. He declared days later I had changed his life, asked the class if they felt the love. He whispered in my ear, your beautiful, apologized for having to take time training others, so got one to help for me so I could excel basically. Told me I'm extra special. Gave me the best desk assignment. Had me introduced to who would be my supervisor asking if I thought he was attractive, by the manager (later found out him and trainer guy attended same high school). I didn't think he was attractive. Just tons and tons of little things, showing he's interested, why I don't really understand but okay. All his pursuing got me interested, when I really shouldn't be, but a girl can only guard feelings so much. Then I was out enjoying my night, and was smacked with reality. I knew, but seeing and knowing are two different things. Now I feel very played, and foolish.

If he professed his love he is a total idiot. Who does that?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Very unprofessional of him, even if he had been seriously interested in you and unattached this would not have been the way to go about it.

I would regard this as having dodged a bullet.

You sure he wasn't just joking and fooling around when he "professed his love?"


I'm not saying its right and I'm not saying its acceptable behavior at work, but I've worked in very goofy environments where this type of thing would not be unheard of. Except nobody took such behavior seriously at all. Especially when its happening in front of an audience, kind of (In my mind) solidifies the fact that its all in jest.

Whatever he led you on so you are right to be upset to find out he had a gf.
Chalk it up to experience girl, you'll know better next time and won't fall for that trick again.If I were you I'd let his gf know what a sleeze bag he is!She will probably blame you or think you are out to get him so are causing trouble though.I am sorry you were led on and set up,it must hurt.Love is for you,it is just that this sleeze bag is a wrong un and not good enough for you!

I haven't thought about it but you are probably right. "Oh thank you I love you!" could mean I appreciate what you did etc meaning nothing by it. I can't imagine someone would jeopardize his job being serious about love for a coworker

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

He grabbed his heart, looked me in the eyes and said I love you! Which shocked me.

Two days later enters the room and states my name. You have changed my life! Feel the love guys? Feel the love? Come on guys don't you feel the love? A few finally agree.

Regardless it's done, it's over, he played me, now avoids me. And likely decided to stay put. He's was on vacation 2 weeks ago and heading out again in a few days. Maybe he's job hunting.

If he really said that, he is a total idiot

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

See, grabbing his heart, that's very dramatic and over the top.


When my bf told me he loved me he didn't act like an idiot, and he didn't dramatize the thing in front of an audience. He told me privately, like normal people do.


So I am now more convinced than ever that he was goofing off and didn't realize you'd take it seriously.


He obviously knows now and that's why he's avoiding you, but what's done is done.


So sorry you didn't realize he was fooling around and developed feelings for him, but as expressed above, chalk it up to experience.

That doesnt sound work appropriate comments.
I would say nothing and not get into a work relationship. Especially with someone who has power/influence above your position.
If hes just playing around i dont think its an issue, but there is a fine line to sexual harassment that you dont need surrounding your reputation at this job.

At my old job a manager was sleeping with a subordinate and i was interviewed because we texted and in the investigation my name came up on his work phone records. We were only texting about pre schools for our kids. Innocent stuff. My having my reputation questioned and having to show the messages to hr is not a fun feeling.

Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk

I avoid him now. Park on other side of building to avoid running into him.

Good for you!