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#1
Dec 24, 2016, 06:42 PM
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So my mom and I picked up some light fare for dinner tonight thinking it was just ne, her, and my stepdad. Well my stepdad's two sons and one of their friends are now coming over and I don't think we have enough food. This is a huge trigger for me as growing up my mom never planned to make enough food and i, as the youngest,.always ended up getting my food stolen and going hungry.
I'm extremely triggered now and panicking and there's not much I can do to calm myself. I have been having a lot of trouble with binge eating lately too, so that's on top.of this huge trigger. I'm really pissed at my mom too for just shrugging about my concerns that we don't have enough food. Because I'll be the one expected to go without. Now our easy dinner won't be so easy because I'll have to figure out how to make extra food so I can actually have dinner. And I had other plans to work on a project tonight. Just really triggered, panicking and upset right now and I don't think that I should have to hide it.
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
 Anonymous49852, Anonymous59898, LadyShadow, MickeyCheeky, Moogieotter, Onward2wards, Skeezyks, unaluna, xRavenx
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#2
Dec 24, 2016, 08:01 PM
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#3
Dec 25, 2016, 12:28 PM
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Great. I wake up and another 'friend' of my stepdad's sons is here. And the other son is apparently on their way over and possibly bringing another friend. I won't be coming again for future holidays if this crap is going on. I know I haven't described this situation fully but these people are also thieves and druggies and they've stolen family heirlooms from my mother before. I don't like being around them because of their behavior and their total lack of boundaries triggers me greatly. And there is nowhere I can go in the house to get away from them because of the layout of the house.
My quiet holiday has turned into a very stressful one.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous49852, Anonymous50909, Anonymous59898, Moogieotter, unaluna
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#4
Dec 25, 2016, 01:18 PM
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And now I'm trying to leave because I can't handle being in this environment, and they are making me feel like **** for it.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous37954, Anonymous49852
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#5
Dec 25, 2016, 01:33 PM
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Geez. Im so sorry. Your mother gets some payback from being there, thats her husband, but i think she needs you there to dump her own unpleasant feelings into. If she had decent boundaries...
A "solution" would be to say, hey ma, lets you and me do stg together sometime, and just get the hell out of there. If she chooses to have those kind of people in her life, great. You dont, and i dont blame you. I wish you peace. You deserve it.
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#6
Dec 25, 2016, 02:00 PM
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I can't do that, una. My mom lives 8 hours from me. We can't just do something sometime. I made the time to come up here to visit them. I asked if they would like me to visit. I asked if they had room and it would affect their plans. I did what an appropriate guest does. I don't borrow money from them and not pay it back then expect them to buy me expensive Christmas gifts. I don't then show up at Christmas without gifts for them and expect me and all my friends to be fed. Her husband wonders why his kids have turned out the way they did and blames it all on their mother but he accepts their behavior too. And he enables their behavior too. I can't do it. I won't spend my free time around those kind of people. I have my limits.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous49852
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#7
Dec 25, 2016, 03:40 PM
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(((Seesaw))) i didnt mean to trivialize your predicament, honestly.
You deserve back the respect you gave them, but youre not getting it. So leave with dignity? Maybe try to find an unbooked hotel room for cheap? Just trying to help you find options. A movie? |
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#8
Dec 25, 2016, 03:45 PM
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Una, I didn't think you were trivializing. I was just explaining more.of the situation. I am packed up and ready to go, but all the people left after they demolished all the food my mother cooked. I came back inside because after having the physical reaction I did with the PTSD, I can't drive right now. They are all acting like they are super mad at me and ignoring me now too. Cause of course, I'm the problem. I'm no longer welcome now.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous49852, Anonymous50909, Anonymous59898, unaluna
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#9
Dec 26, 2016, 02:16 PM
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(((Seesaw))) just checking in to see how youre doing today.
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#10
Dec 26, 2016, 03:04 PM
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I'm really sorry, seesaw..
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#11
Dec 26, 2016, 03:23 PM
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 hope you're ok?
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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#12
Dec 26, 2016, 03:51 PM
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I'm okay. I ended up staying there last night because i wasn't fit to drive, but my mother and stepdad barely spoke to me. My mom barely said goodbye to me when I left today. I love how now I'm in the doghouse for having a massive panic attack. Like, I tried to leave to deal with it, and that pissed then off just as much.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous37954, Anonymous50909, MickeyCheeky, unaluna
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#13
Dec 26, 2016, 04:42 PM
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So sorry that your Christmas was ruined.
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#14
Dec 26, 2016, 09:11 PM
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So, just want to vent a little more...it's already really frustrating going to visit them because the guest bed is up in the loft, and they wake up multiple times during the night and are really loud about letting the dogs out and getting something to drink and whatever. They are completely rude and inconsiderate about it. And then I can't even try to nap during the day because again, the bed is in the loft space and they are making all sorts of noise. They wake me up in the middle of the night two or three times and each time it takes me at least an hour to fall back asleep AFTER they finally stop making noise.
I want to visit my mom, but I can't afford a hotel room to visit for multiple days without putting it on my credit card and I'm not going to wrack up a whole bunch of debt just to visit them. I'm just not going to be able to visit them that much anymore. I just don't understand how they can be so rude to guests, even if they are family. It's just another reminder to me of the toxic family I come from and why I distance myself from them. Seesaw
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| divine1966, unaluna
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 divine1966
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#15
Dec 28, 2016, 11:58 PM
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I am so so sorry. I didn't see this thread. What a horrid situation. I hope you are feeling better upon returning home
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#16
Dec 29, 2016, 06:51 AM
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Quote:
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| divine1966, unaluna
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#17
Dec 29, 2016, 12:46 PM
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My t said family is overrated. This after my encounter with my family this week. Ive already asked my t to take me off life support, seriously.
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| divine1966
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#18
Dec 29, 2016, 03:32 PM
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My t says that it's ok to limit or even completely cut toxic families off. She says there is no need to put up with crap just because they are family. Not particularly my situation but sometimes it's the only thing to do yet we feel guilt and it's even more stress. My daughter recently widowed, it was a horrific experience but she can't even grieve properly because his family drives her nuts. She is now facing a dilemma of limiting relationship with them (they are very toxic) but she feels guilty. So sttessful.
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| unaluna
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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