[DechanDawa]

Since I lost my job I haven't been doing much. I am right back to Square One isolating, worrying, and also feeling very depressed. No matter what I do I have too many problems and can't overcome them.

The only thing that is different is that I took a vow to not go back to suicidal ideation and I am sticking to it. Living with that is way too painful and I ended up having to call crisis lines almost every evening.

I came so very close to being happy the day before I got fired. I felt like things were looking up. I felt like I had worked hard and it was starting to change my life.

Now I am thrown back down to the bottom of the mountain.

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Since I lost my job I haven't been doing much. I am right back to Square One isolating, worrying, and also feeling very depressed. No matter what I do I have too many problems and can't overcome them.

The only thing that is different is that I took a vow to not go back to suicidal ideation and I am sticking to it. Living with that is way too painful and I ended up having to call crisis lines almost every evening.

I came so very close to being happy the day before I got fired. I felt like things were looking up. I felt like I had worked hard and it was starting to change my life.

Now I am thrown back down to the bottom of the mountain.

Hi,
I know the feeling. I have been unemployed for twoyears atone sticky part of my life, however i chose redundancy.
I completely changed my life. Divorced, trained for a different type of job, married my second wife, had years of depression and finally after 15 years in my second job, I took early retirement. Got myself a new pastime of making musical instruments and learning to play them!
We haveto take the knocks and eventually we will succeed!
Best wishes for finding a new job.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Gojamadar

Hi,
I know the feeling. I have been unemployed for twoyears atone sticky part of my life, however i chose redundancy.
I completely changed my life. Divorced, trained for a different type of job, married my second wife, had years of depression and finally after 15 years in my second job, I took early retirement. Got myself a new pastime of making musical instruments and learning to play them!
We haveto take the knocks and eventually we will succeed!
Best wishes for finding a new job.

How did you find the courage and strength to make so much chance happen in your life? Your comment struck a nerve. I don't just need a new job. I need a whole new life. I am really curious as to what helped you the most in making all this change happen.

[DechanDawa]

Feeling better thanks to the support and encouragement of some Psych Central friends. Thank you. I love it that you are always there with a kind word, a new way to view a situation, and thoughtful advice.

[unaluna]

Btw, hows the finger?

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Btw, hows the finger?

Still hurts and wrapped in band aids but healing. Thanks for asking. I am beginning to realize I get pretty dramatic about everything. Something to work on. My emotions are all over the place.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Still hurts and wrapped in band aids but healing. Thanks for asking. I am beginning to realize I get pretty dramatic about everything. Something to work on. My emotions are all over the place.

Thats me, or was. Thats how my mother was, everything was a catastrophe. I finally figured out, like in 2001, no lie, when i was 49, that she just wanted to win every argument, even if it meant switching sides halfway thru! I just blindly absorbed her method of discourse. I had to stop seeing her (which therapists had been begging me to do for literally decades) before i could start to absorb my ts calm demeanor. Absorb sounds funny but i think thats what i did!

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Thats me, or was. Thats how my mother was, everything was a catastrophe. I finally figured out, like in 2001, no lie, when i was 49, that she just wanted to win every argument, even if it meant switching sides halfway thru! I just blindly absorbed her method of discourse. I had to stop seeing her (which therapists had been begging me to do for literally decades) before i could start to absorb my ts calm demeanor. Absorb sounds funny but i think thats what i did!

That's very interesting. I think I absorb other people's stress. There was a lot of very stressed out people at the job I was just terminated from. It is a national corporation so I went online to a forum of employee and former employee's views about working for this company. Every one mentioned high stress and a hostile environment.

I think I need better techniques to offload the stress I pick up. I can be on the bus and someone will sit down next to me and start telling me all their troubles and by the time I get off the bus I will have picked up their stress.

[Gojamadar]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

How did you find the courage and strength to make so much chance happen in your life? Your comment struck a nerve. I don't just need a new job. I need a whole new life. I am really curious as to what helped you the most in making all this change happen.

Hi,
When I was 19, I had to leave my country and a very good job with prospects. It was in midwinter, just after midnight when I crossed the border. I looked back and thought to myself: "now I'll have to be happy if I finish up on an iceberg" I think this helped me to get through life.
Now 60 years later I try to remember only the good things that happened to me.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by Gojamadar

Hi,
When I was 19, I had to leave my country and a very good job with prospects. It was in midwinter, just after midnight when I crossed the border. I looked back and thought to myself: "now I'll have to be happy if I finish up on an iceberg" I think this helped me to get through life.
Now 60 years later I try to remember only the good things that happened to me.

It sounds like a very prophetic beginning. You have stories to tell...plenty of them, I am certain. Thank you for honoring me with your comments.

Allow yourself the permission to not work right now.

It sounds to me like you are feeling low self-worth for leaving this emloyment? I don't know the circumstances but look at it as you have done yourself a favour, that you were owed this on account of your mental health. Feel no shame, feel no embarrassment.

Depression is setting in and will do so. This comes with feeling to a degree that lack of worth. But you are in fact worth it.

One thing you can do is draw up a list of expectations for yourself. What can become goals? What is reasonable and what is not?

You may have heard I and others discussing CBT (Cognative Behaviour Therapy). Maybe grab a workbook and have a go.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Allow yourself the permission to not work right now.

It sounds to me like you are feeling low self-worth for leaving this emloyment? I don't know the circumstances but look at it as you have done yourself a favour, that you were owed this on account of your mental health. Feel no shame, feel no embarrassment.

Depression is setting in and will do so. This comes with feeling to a degree that lack of worth. But you are in fact worth it.

One thing you can do is draw up a list of expectations for yourself. What can become goals? What is reasonable and what is not?

You may have heard I and others discussing CBT (Cognative Behaviour Therapy). Maybe grab a workbook and have a go.

Okay, so last evening went online and found a forum with comments by employees and ex-employees of this company that terminated me. What I found out was this company frequently terminates people for all the wrong reasons. So I don't feel as bad now (self-worth-wise) as I did. The company does a lot of things wrong such as understaffs and then demands that people do the work of three people, which is impossible. Finding this online forum helped me gain perspective.

I think it may be a characteristic of low self-esteem to take on the full responsibility of a situation...but it is important to fight this urge. Although I am still upset about being terminated my research online uncovered some reasons why it wasn't all my fault.

Some of us really don't have the luxury of just taking time off and not working.

I responded to you in another thread that I was familiar with CBT. However, I am finding DBT to be much more valuable at this time. I have a DBT workbook.

The depression had better not take hold. I have been fighting to get out of and stay out of an 18 to 24 month depression. Yes, the habits of being depressed are still there but I need to fight them. Being depressed is hell on earth. I'm not going back to that hell. Ever.