Anger

How do you deal with anger? I don't know what to do when I get angry. If it's caused by a person, I want to lash out at them. I want to scream and attack them physically. I don't know why I have these reactions. I can't even bring myself to express my anger at people without apologizing. I can't even raise my voice at anyone. I've never lashed our physically. I just don't know how to deal with this emotion.

Hello,
I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble with your anger issues.
Considered, counseling or pharmacology/psychiatrist?

Usually I just suppressed it....but after starting Abilify my level of irritation with people became really low so I guess it's part of the bipolar.....I generally just don't get angry now.....

I have no insurance and can't afford any type of counseling.

I guess I just suppress it too, but I don't think it's the healthiest response, not for me at least.

They have government funded clinics. They go by how much you make a year

There's nothing free in my area, and I can't afford to pay anything. I can barely pay my bills right now.

I'm sadly sorry friend.

I do the same, I sometimes want to slap the **** out of a stupid person...
I supress it though...

I think realizing that im not the only one that feels like this helps

I just tell myself I don't have time for stupid stuff...

Some meds can help too though...

I either suppress it or speak harshly to whomever I'm angry with...neither of which is productive. I get angry so rarely though that it's not something I focus on. My level of impatience though could use some improvement. There are anger management books and workbooks that you can buy that seem helpful. Best wishes.

(((((PsychNitrous)))))

I believe that it's important to be able to express how you feel. It sounds like you are afraid of your anger. Do you ever punch pillows? Or journal out how angry someone or something makes you? Does that make you feel better? I wonder if it might. Or channeling your rage into sports or dance. I also think it's ok to say to someone, "you upset me." And express your anger in a civil way. There's no need to apologize for how you feel. Have you ever read anything on assertiveness? I have found the teachings of how to be assertive and express my anger (mainly, that it is OK to tell people what I need, and not feel bad about it) to be helpful. I do still struggle with this though, also. I also just want to say that in the past, I've struggled with this too. I used to hold all my anger in. Like for years. and then I got sick of it and was kind of *****y for a little while sometimes. I have found that meditation can help and the teachings of zen, because I do tend to be an irritable person, and don't want to harm people during times when I'm annoyed.

Recognizing that you are angry is the first step. Acknowledge the anger and accept it. While acknowledging the anger, focus on keeping yourself centered and grounded. Remember to breathe. Feel your feet firmly on the floor. Don't judge your anger, just accept it as an important, valid emotion.

If you are telling someone you're angry you can do so in a validating (validate the other person) and assertive (state your feelings) way. For example, "I appreciate that you are giving me a ride to the store. I'm feeling angry, though, because you're 20 minutes late. Next time you are picking me up and are late would you please give me a quick call to let me know? I'd really appreciate it."

Remember to breathe and stay as grounded as possible.

That sounds like a good evaluation, that I'm afraid of my anger. I've journaled about my anger before, but it seems to exacerbate the issue. Sometimes I kind of throw things, like I'll throw my keys into the basket I keep them in when I get home angry, or I'll kind of throw my phone down when something on it (or it!) makes me angry.

I think you're really on to something with assertiveness. I'm not an assertive person, I apologize for everything I do. I was texting my mom last night about being upset that something went badly at work, and apologized for "whining at her". I'm not good at asking for what I need either, I feel like I need to be self-sufficient and able to support myself without help. That always leads to bad situations, like when I asked my parents last month to pay my rent for my birthday present while we were at my brother's wedding! What resources have you used to work on your assertiveness? I think that might be a good direction to start.

https://www.goodreads.com/work/quote...lls-of-systema. To this, I would add, you have the right to ask for what you need and ask for help.

I have a couple books. I think one is just called Assertiveness. The other is The Assertiveness Workbook. Sometimes I struggle too with confronting things that I don't want to. There are many books out there.

Thanks, I'm definitely going to check that book out, it sounds like exactly what I need.

I tell other people about it. Then one time I hit a brick wall.