Is being emotionally numb really a bad thing?

It seems like a lot of people, particularly, mental health professionals claim that numbing one's emotions or avoiding feeling things is a bad thing. It seems like those that aren't in touch with their feelings, don't respond to situations on an emotional level, or don't have high amounts of empathy are regarded as "defective" and need to be fixed through therapy or medication or whatever.

What I don't understand is why? Why is being this way regarded as a flaw by the so called "professionals" in mental health?

So what if somebody isn't good with feelings or chooses to not rely on them? So what if somebody's chosen coping mechanism to some type of trauma is to avoid feeling? So what if somebody prefers cold logic to emotional responses? So what if somebody has a low EQ? Is this truly a bad thing?

I don't think it's a bad thing to be this way. I think that most of these so called "professionals" have this grand idea that one needs to be this touchy feely person who is in touch with their feelings to be well. I don't think one needs to be emotional to be considered "healthy".

Think about it: the overwhelming majority of human history had people who weren't highly emotional because being emotional would have been a way to get yourself killed. From the caveman days to the ancient Greek and Roman days to the medieval times to early American colonization up to the past 100 years even, the strongest and most successful of humans were the least emotional. I don't see anything wrong with how humans used to be in that regard because from an evolutionary standpoint, emotional numbness is advantageous. Even today, being successful in a career or business often requires a degree of ruthlessness that one wouldn't find in a highly emotional person.

Yet these therapists and other mental health professionals treat us as though we are "broken" for not having feelings or even avoiding feelings in place of logic. Why?

Why change now when being this way served humanity so faithfully in the past?

I'm genuinely curious as to what others think about this.

I wish I was more emotionally numb or felt things less. I'm a highly sensitive person and my emotions cause me much pain. As to whether being emotionally numb is a good or bad thing, I don't know but I'd be happy to try that out. Best wishes.

Yeah, I'm usually emotionally distant from people and I'm not good with feelings or connecting with people. While I often keep myself distracted so I can't feel, I also am a more logical person at heart who prefers to have a lot of alone time and do things based on cold logic instead of emotions.

I've been told by more than one person that being this way isn't healthy. Additionally, I've read multiple articles from mental health professionals as well as some posts in the CEN and PTSD forums here about how people who are like this are "broken" and need therapy or whatever, but I disagree with such assessments and I was merely explaining why.

I made this thread because I am genuinely curious as to what others might think, especially those who might have an opposing viewpoint.

In some traumatic situations, your brain might naturally shut off emotions to cope and to avoid danger, kind of like right when you injure yourself you may not feel much or any physical pain until a day or so later. So on one hand, I would say it's okay to not feel really emotional, sometimes... on the other hand, I'm pretty sure every single human being on this earth has emotions, and that's normal.

You have some mixed messages in your posts. Sometimes you claim you're naturally not that emotional, and then you write things like this:

So from that it sounds like you're expending effort on suppressing emotions. Suppression is unhealthy. If you suppress something long enough, it will build up until it eventually explodes. I don't know you personally, and I myself am a highly emotional person, so I could only speculate why you would want to suppress emotions... whether because you're afraid of honestly expressing yourself to others around you who might reject you... whether you judge emotions as a sign of weakness and inferiority... or because it's safer to not open up deep past traumas until you can handle it.

Being naturally logical is fine. Forcing out emotions all the time, in every situation? Probably not. I also take issue with your entire perception of history, evolution and societal "success". Yes, the bravest people are generally the most successful, but bravery does not = no emotion. Bravery is having emotions, having fear, insecurity, love, anger, etc, but choosing to take action independent of those emotions. Also, it really depends on how you define "success". In a capitalist, patriarchal society that only values masculinity and not femininity, maybe that mentality prevails, but many rich, famous people like actors, actresses, authors, athletes, or even Oprah, are openly emotional and in fact celebrate having emotions. If emotions weren't natural and healthy, humans wouldn't have survived through evolution still being this emotional. Clearly, it serves a unique purpose.

I didn't mean to imply that those who have emotions aren't successful people; I was referring to those who put an emphasis on them. Emotions make people short sighted and irrational when one often needs to make rational, logical decisions to truly be successful in life. Emotions are a good thing. Too much of any good thing is a bad thing, however.

For example: how would one go about solving world hunger? Send 1 million dollars of food and medical supplies to children in Africa? Somebody who is guided by their emotions might make such a decision, but would doing that really solve the problem at hand? No. To solve a problem such as that, instead of investing money and resources into food itself, one would need to invest said resources into fixing the problem at hand by providing those people with the means to feed themselves. Even if more children died in the short term, in the long term, many more children would be saved. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day or teach a man how to fish and feed him for a lifetime as they say.

I know I used an extreme example, but such logic is relevant in many aspects of life and the primary thesis on what I choose to make my claim about. Yes, such an example isn't relevant in all aspects of human success, but in many instances, logic trumps emotion.

As for how this thread relates to me personally, let me just clarify my "mixed messages" that I seemed to send:

It takes much less effort for me to suppress my emotions than to deal with them. I'm far too busy to deal with my feelings, which serve me no real purpose and hold me back. I'm a full time college student, a part time college employee, and I will own my own corporation starting in Sept. I don't have the time, nor the energy to deal with my feelings right now, and doing so in such a critical time in my life would only risk to derail my goals that I worked so hard to achieve.

Even if that wasn't the case, I prioritize my own success and ambitions over establishing emotional connections with people. Yes, sometimes not having intimate relationships with people hurts. Sometimes, I do get incredibly lonely and crave a woman's affection. Most of the time, however, I am perfectly content with focusing on my life and my goals and spending what little free time that I have playing video games or watching anime instead of socializing, for example. On the rather rare occasion that any feelings of loneliness or needing to be loved or accepted start to kick in, I have become an expert at keeping them at bay by forcing my mind to think about other things. Such feelings won't be an asset to my ambitions so why should I care about them?

If any of my posts offended or upset you, I apologize in advance. I sometimes can be a bit controversial. I do appreciate your input, however.

everyone has emotions, its what and how we deal with them. I think a person should address them as they occur rather than stuffing them inside. You probably could help yourself if you did somthing for yourself to deal with them like taking a course on emotions or reading a book on them. You say you can handle them by putting them inside your self. This doesn't work no matter what or how small they seem to be as i know through my own experience that it doesn't work this way. You'll have a blow up one of these days even though you're working or while you are out and the men in the white coats so to say will follow you to the hospital. The pshyc ward. Please get a doc or t to help you even if its not too bad right now, or you will loose your cool sooner or later. Good luck!

Thank you for your concern but I am fine.

Even if I did get help, it is unlikely that it would do me much good. I've tried on several occasions to deal with my feelings, both on my own, and with help. Every time that I try, I bring myself more needless pain and confusion. Right now, I am in such a critical point in my life that I can't risk letting my feelings interfere. I've worked so hard to get to where I am at now and I am so close to accomplishing something meaningful with my life for once and becoming somebody worthy of respect in the process.

I will kill the old me. He was weak and held me back from my ultimate potential. That pathetic, emotional kid who lacked the backbone to do what needs to be done. I am not him anymore and I refuse to ever become him ever again.

The best that I can do is keep following my ambitions. When I have plenty of money, I will be able to afford things like self help coaches, experimental treatments, the highest end supplements, and any other type of resource that I need to take care of my own issues without dealing with the mental health system that is too inept to help somebody like me.

Anyways, I digress from the main point here. This thread isn't about me so much as why I think that being this way isn't a problem.

I used to think being emotionally numb,detached,wasn't a bad thing either until my T helped me realize that I was also numbing good feelings too and missing out on alot in life.

To answer the question of your title:

No, I don't think being emotionally numb is necessarily a bad thing. It protects us in some ways, and that's good. But being ALWAYS emotionally numb isn't great IMO because then you don't get to experience the full range of emotions that humans are blessed to have...

And as far as I'm concerned, there are no bad or good emotions. Just emotions that mean different things.

How does having emotions make one "blessed"? I consider them a curse. They are the one thing that I simply have difficulty understanding. I find other humans confusing and have trouble understanding other people's emotions. I also have trouble understanding my own feelings sometimes and I find that feeling anything drains me. I'm a hardcore introvert so being around people takes its toll on me and socializing for any more than 2-3 hours a day makes me feel completely fatigued like I just took a big test. Throw emotions into the mix too, especially when I have such a hard time dealing with and understanding my own feelings, and it's no wonder why I live off coffee and energy drinks because dealing with all of this is just way too draining for me on top of my other adult responsibilities.

Man what I wouldn't give to be a psychopath. I would love to be able to live life completely free of emotions; especially fear, guilt, depression, anxiety, or any of that other mess that only holds people back. Unfortunately, one has to be born a psychopath and can't be made into one so I'm fresh out of luck there.

I find having feelings to be such a drag. I wish I didn't feel anything. I want to be a robot of some kind which would be fitting considering the fact that I love technology a lot more than people.

To answer the original question, YES. I've spent a lifetime trying to numb myself so I could not feel. All I did was never really experience life on life's terms. I missed out on growing up ! Do you think that becoming a "worldly success " will make you better or happier ? Having money ? When are people going to realize that one thing is not better or worse than the other. We need to combine feelings and logic together to become more healthy. If you want to be a robot then you just don't want to be a human ! Stop being angry at yourself for being " weak " at one point in your growth as a person. Putting all this armor on yourself will only weigh you down.
With regards....

Thanks.

I guess I just don't know how to deal with my emotions. I was never taught how, nor was I ever given a proper chance to mature emotionally due to my messed up childhood.

In fact, I was told not too long ago that intellectually, I am wise beyond my years, however, emotionally, I am at the level of a 16 year old. The person that told me this was right to some extent. My emotional growth was stunted awhile back.

I guess that by creating this thread, I was hoping that more people would agree with me to reinforce my opinions on this subject. It seems that may way of thinking isn't entirely accurate and one day, I will need to address this issue.

Unfortunately, I'm not ready yet. I have to focus on work, school, and business. I need to prioritize working on what is most important to me and right now, my feelings aren't a priority. I have been fighting tooth and nail to get to where I am at now. Last year, I was homeless. This year, I am doing well for myself financially and am able to support myself for the first time in my life. I simply can't risk going back to the way I was because if that happens, there will be nobody to take care of me.

I need to accept the fact that I'm alone; always have been and most likely always will be. If I fall now, there will be nobody to pick me up. Feelings don't put food on the table or a roof over my head; money does. Without money, we're nothing. That's why I prioritize wealth. I refuse to work some ****** job my whole life or become homeless because of my stupid feelings. I need to fight on no matter the cost.

As a child I learned to suppress emotions, especially negative ones.
As an adult I'm told this is a bad thing to do (hence contributing to depression), that I should work on expressing my thoughts and feelings more.
I really struggle with this as I associate emotional honesty = negative response from others.

I don't think it's bad but my understanding is that when you're numb you don't feel anything. Which at first I thought was great too, because I didn't like emotions, but I also didn't feel much else. There was no excitement, no looking forward to anything, didn't really care about anything. Just going through the motions with no purpose. I guess that's why they say it's not good to not feel, because you can't choose just to feel the good ones. It's all or nothing.

Emotional honesty = negative response. This is absolutely one of the most "truest " statements or equations that I have ever heard. Most people cannot handle emotional honesty. I know I've lost many friends and family over the years for being honest . But yet you have to take everything they throw at you.
Insults and all. The only way to get through this life is to play the " phoney game" that everybody plays.

Your posts, both on this thread, and on my other thread where I was talking about entrepreneurship (which your reply was outright insulting BTW but I won't get into that) remind me of an article I was reading written by this Indian American named Remit Satei who is this self made multimillionaire that makes some very interesting educational resources that I read whenever possible.

He was talking about how while being made aware of one's vulnerabilities and doing something is smart for one's improvement, going around talking about your vulnerabilities and emotions and making posts on blogs and social media shouldn't be done unless it is done in such a way that either helps you improve or makes it look like you're growing and improving as a person. He also claims that those who talk about feelings and vulnerabilities so frequently typically do so to avoid working on their own issues by getting their feelings validated by other people. In fact, it is apparently regarded as not only "socially acceptable" but actually "cool" to be emotionally vulnerable today. Pathetic.

I guess not everybody is destined for greatness. I will have less competition at least

DarknessIsMyFriend, if you don't think it's a bad thing, and like the way you are and how you live emotionally, and see no problem with it, I'd say you have your answer. It doesn't matter what other people think. That being said, you bring up an interesting idea. I wonder if it is the times we live in, that everyone is being more open, more emotional, etc. I am very open, emotional, talk about my feelings, etc. But there is more than one way of being and existing in the world. If you're not hurting yourself or other people, I don't see a problem though. And if you were hurting yourself and wanted to, I suppose that would be your prerogative.

Honestly, looking at myself, I tend to be the kind of person who is like, "therapy helps, everyone should go to therapy and talk about their problems and issues and thoughts and feelings." So that's an interesting bias I notice about myself. But nobody can force you to be that way. And obviously you don't have to be that way if you don't want to be.

You said something about people a long time ago like the greeks and romans not being emotional. Is that true? I read somewhere that our ancestors (this might have been before that time) had a ton more testosterone in them, and they fought all the time because of it. I think it was when we started to civilize and get closer to each other in physical proximity, that the testosterone levels started going down. But I just assume that people must have been quite emotional with each other if they were fighting all the time. I'm thinking now though, that you probably mean talking about emotions in a civilized way and like, "working things out," being aware of ones thoughts and emotions.

I see that there are more responses in this thread, and I have not read any of them because I am lazy lol. But I will probably read them after posting this.

Hi again DarknessIsMyFriend, I know you wrote this all a few days ago, but I wanted to respond again because I read the rest of the thread finally and I'm riveted! Lol.

My thoughts: You may not feel like you understand your emotions, but it sounds like you are sure of some things. Like that you know that you will need to deal eventually, but now is not the time for you. In my opinion, I say go with that. I also wanted to say, that when you feel ready, or feel like looking at your emotions, or learning, understanding, etc, there are safe ways to do it, I think. I say that, because it sounds like you might be unsure to get in touch with your emotions because they might overwhelm you. That's an understandable fear / hesitation. If I were you, and I chose to feel after not feeling all my life, I'd do it gradually. Yes, lol, vulnerability is a total buzzword nowadays. Shaking my fist at Brene Brown, lol. It works for some people. Not for all people though. Though I kind of think we are all vulnerable here at PC. well, honest about the **** we deal with. Anyway, I was reading a book on emotional first aid, and it said, about trauma, that there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. So, if it feels better to not talk about, you shouldn't have to. If it helps to talk about, then you do. really glad you're not a psychopath. They suck.