Buck up Buttercup!

Do you ever feel like you have a lack of compassion? The problem is, I know this isn't really my issue. I'll avoid tooting my own horn, but people no I'm always there for them. If an emergency strikes, I'll find away to help fix the problem. I've taken care people with certain brain development issues b/c I could handle their issue better than some others. I don't get frustrated about it, and I do generally care about the people I'm trying to encourage/help.

Then, there's another part of me. Maybe I'm get overwhelmed? I get tired of every person on social media thinking because their parents yelled at them a couple of times when they were growing up that they were abused. Then of course, they post a million posts 5 posts a day about child abuse. (Yes, by the way genuine verbal abuse is very real, and it is can be hard to get over.) I get tired of people who get the jitters going to job interviews self-diagnosing themselves with things like GAD, and then, repeatedly posting about panic disorders and anxiety disorder awareness. I mean. If it was in support of people with these problems, great. It's not a competition, either. I just get really tired of it. Why? I know it's none of my business. Not my account etc. I just really have the urge to tell these people to buck up buttercup. Put your adult pants on. Your life isn't that bad. Your actually one of the luckier ones. Now please shut your piehole until you have something useful to say.

I know what you mean. They have no idea what some people have gone through.

I think to some, especially younger people, it’s a way to form an identity. Then they might selfdiagnose too. I think for people who don’t really know a lot about it, they tend to romanticize mental health and think it makes their personality more interesting to others.

Yes, this can be true especially for personality disorders when shows like Dexter, Criminal Minds, and Hannibal are popular now. However, I'm talking about grown thirty somethings. Like I said I know I should "unfollow" or not let it get to me, but sometimes I just get irritated. Plus just in everyday life, sometimes I find my empathy can run short on certain types of people. For example, I totally understand that everyone has bad days. I can empathize with someone who got a flat tire and was late to a meeting at work. I'll listen. I'll empathize. If I know you, trust, and have a few extra bucks I'd be willing to loan out a few extra bucks, if you are having difficulty in financing the new tire. However, if you the person is seriously going to brood all day long and take it out on others. Then complain, that there life is so horrible over this. They have it so bad yada yada. Life is unfair. No one struggles as hard as them. I'm going to lose patience after like two hours honestly.

I know some people like this. I can't stand to be around them for too long, either. One thing I really will never understand is why anyone would wish for mental illness? It doesn't make sense. Don't they see how miserable it really is? How could anyone want this? It's not a tv show you can just turn off when you've had enough or even change the channel to a program more enjoyable. It never goes away.

What amazes me is that people think they should never feel anxious about anything & if they do then something is seriously wrong.

The thing is, our minds & body were created to feel anxiety. It is our bodies way of telling us that something is wrong that we need to fix because it is a threat & needs to be taken care of. To think that we need to pop anti-anxiety meds to stop feeling any anxiety instead of learning skills of how to handle the anxiety AND the problems causing it are unrealistic.

Yes there are some things that we live through that are beyond our ability to handle anxiety wise & meds help to get through that period of time...but to expect to be anxiety free forever.....yep, buck up buttercup & learn how to handle the normal stressful things life throws at you.

I can relate to your thoughts!!!!

So I'm not a complete jerk then?

NO, you are not a jerk at any level

You have care & understanding for the situations where it is totally understandable but the clarity to see when people need to take responsibility for their own reactions to everyday things that happen normally in life.

Sadly many parents never teach their kids those skills but it's NEVER too late for them to learn. I had good skills I developed but learned more really helpful skills & information in my late 50's from an intense 2 year DBT group with the best psychologist ever.....we are never too old to learn new things & yes, old dogs can be taught NEW tricks

You are NOT a jerk in any way for feeling as you do. I totaly get where you're coming from: the "It's NOT a competition.."? OH YEAH, I've actually said that to more than one person! heh.

Unfortunately I'm a person who can get very very sarcastic when anyone starts in on the whole "My life is so much more difficult/harder and less rewarding than yours!!" trip. Not good. :/

If you are overwhelmed, maybe consider taking a /or several steps back from engaging with individuals who seem to be competing? It can help, imo.

Very best to you. Am so in your shoes right now w/someone I'm supposed to be mentoring. Worn out, overwhelmed, and tbh a little disgusted. You sound like a much nicer person!

Best, Chyia

I agree with your views, as well. Tbh I often feel like I complain too much even though my life isn't nearly as bad as other people here. So perhaps I'm not that different from the people you describe but I understand and agree with your opinons. Definitely not a jerk

Mickey...you don’t complain too much. You’ve legitimately had a tough time.

I have somebody like that in my life. It does get frustrating.

I wonder if these people you mentioned see their situation as much worse than it really is due to that they may be suffering from depression. I know that I suffer from major depression and I admit there's a tendency to see things worse than what the situation warrants. Thought I'd bring that possibility to the table. IMHO its not only what happened Its how it's perceived by the person. Not assuming everyone who complains is depressed. I can see how frustrating it is. I once knew a woman who threatened suicide because she found her favorite actor was bald.

I think I found a new group of friends. It's like you guys steal the words from my mouth! I can see both sides of the coin...I find myself trying to get my boys to be resilient and be able to be strong individuals mentally. I try to be loving, though I often fall short I am sure. At the same time, I always thought I was resilient as a child, and happy, but I had some s**t too. Sexual molestation as a child, led to late teen self-hatred, SI, alcohol abuse, and sequelae that eventually have been dx as major depression. All that been said, I still feel my normal is/should be happy and well adjusted. Right now, I am starting to wonder if middle-age bipolar is a possibility. Ha! Guess I need to buck up myself!

I get what you are saying about depression, but I am not talking about depressed people. I, feel, a this point, I am actually pretty good at distinguishing between the two. For example, people who chronically "have the blues" are much different from some one who doesn't get their way once in and awhile and acts like, on those days, that they have it harder than anyone else due a day of essentially a minor inconvenience.

I agree with you but also disagree. You don't know what their life is like. You lou fou are not the overhead seer of everyone. Maybe their parents downgrade them in those few yells tells fells.( please ignore rhyming and nonsense sentences). You don't know the full story. Something's obviously distressing them. Offer some sympathy. The jack rabbit hamper rain. Tell mell fell them maybe they might not have a mental disorder. But getting mad and scaratsitc is not helping anyone fun kun shun. Yes it think people should stop self diagnosing. But tell them to see a therapist, psychiatrist, or a psychologist. It's kinda linda finda jerky to assume your life is worse then theirs, no one is the judge of that.