Other people’s sadness makes me happy and other people’s happiness infuriates me

So when people are extremely depressed or sad it makes me really happy or uplifts my mood but if someone is super happy and cheerful, taking pictures with Boyfriends, Girlfriends, it angers me, I feel sad but very very angry and frenzied..I want to make them sad and miserable..I don’t know what’s wrong with me..I guess people’s misery makes me happy and uplifted and people’s happiness makes me angry and negative and I just see them as being fake and plastic and I just really hate them and want to make them miserable. Also I notice that if the attention isn’t in me I get extremely insecure and jealous. Like I become so negative and need that attention and need everything to be about me. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it

Most feel this way but never admit it. You are truthful and sincere enough to admit it to yourself and also take an additional step and share it with us. That is impressive.
I think it is inevitable to have these emotions in our society, which encourages competition and individualism.
I don’t know if you can feel happy for other’s lives and accomplishments if you are not in a happy place yourself. It requires a very wise person to do that. And you cannot blame yourself for how you feel. Even the fact that you see t as a problem and admit it, shows wisdom. Besides, I think it is more difficult to be happy for others (or be sad when they are down on their luck) when you are dealing with MI and trying to navigate life like that.
Don’t be so harsh on yourself.

Honestly, these sound like sociopathic tendencies and I'm not saying this to be cruel. Are you in therapy? I think getting professional help, regardless of my "armchair" diagnosis, would help you a lot. Good luck.

Isn’t being a sociopath showing a lack of guilt, remorse or feeling? I still have feelings, I still feel guilty sometimes. It’s just when other people are
Happy it makes me extremely depressed I don’t know if it has to do more with depression? Or SDD or ADHD. Because I always want attention. Even as a young 5 year old, if my mom was giving other children attention I’d go into fits of rage and cry.

An above poster said this was normal, and I fully disagree. It sounds like you always need to be the center of attention, which is not normal. Have you ever heard of Histrionic Personality Disorder? Here is the PsychCentral page on it:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/h...lity-disorder/

This disorder is characterized by always needing to be the center of attention. I am not diagnosing by any means, but it's what jumped out at me when I read your post. There are also elements of NPD in what you describe:

NPD info: https://psychcentral.com/disorders/n...lity-disorder/

It is hard to change one's personality characteristics, but it can be done through therapy and hard work. Medication likely wouldn't help for the issues you describe. I wish you all the best.

I don't know to what extent you get depressed when you see someone's happy stories, or the other way around, so I can't really say yours is not a problem at all. However, if you are just feeling bad for a short amount of time, say 90 seconds or less, then it might just be a normal reaction. I know I have these feelings when I see others' accomplishments in their professional and personal life. There is actually a German word for it, Schadenfreude: pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune. So people have been looking at this feeling for a long long time. We don't talk about it much in this culture, but other cultures do. Generally I like to say that comparison is a b****, it'll steal whatever joy you might have about something depends on the way you think about it. But it is also human nature to compare and size ourselves up based on other people's lives.

You're not alone. I feel that all the time too. I feel like the world is so unfair to me...why everyone can have a good life and be happy (at least on the surface) but not me? I really really want to watch them suffer... it gives me satisfaction. :>

This makes me saddened that you feel this way. No one should relish and feel happy when someone else is depressed or unhappy. And to be angry because other people are happy? That's jealousy. This reminds me of the saying "misery loves company". Work on your own life and your own happiness and perhaps this can correct itself.

Hi Madcap--I get the feeling that you expressed yourself in terms that came across stronger to some than you may have intended. I don't know any better than anyone else here but my feeling is not that you don't have a basic motivation of wanting to do harm to others, but that you're miserable and it really hurts to see happy people--schadenfreude, as someone else suggested. If so, that's really common . I want to say respectfully that from my viewpoint the use of the term "sociopathic tendencies" earlier in the thread was very speculative and too frightening a term to throw out without compelling evidence--sociopaths are rare (mercifully) and you don't sound like one to me. I would encourage you to think about the language with which you express yourself a bit so that if the wrong impression was given here you don't run into that problem again. It can happen with MH professionals-- I once used a term that referred to hurting people obviously (to me) figuratively to a T who didn't know me well yet and he could not let it go (I'm the last person who would ever actually do what I referred to). I felt stigmatized, betrayed for having spoken my feelings, and that the T was being really dumb, frankly. At the same time, especially if a T doesn't know us well and with the climate of violence of the last few years, we need to be careful about how we come across to people. Reasonable people can get the wrong impression. I hope you get the chance soon to talk about this at length with a caring, competent therapist. My two cents...