[vafhj]

BTW, this is concerning, but not the "OMG, you might kill yourself" kinda concerning. I don't exactly want to die right now because if I were to die right now, that would mean I would die knowing what suffering was. But it's just that I've been so edgy today and I've even asked people on Yahoo Answers if they believe child murderers did their victims a favor by not letting them get old and angsty. You see, I'm obsessed with the idea of not having truly suffered until your dying moments.

[vafhj]

And uh, I'm also obsessed with the idea that you have to be at least a little naive in order to not experience trauma beyond the bare minimum. Take someone I vaguely know from somewhere, she's 17 years older than me (39) and has a cutesy teenage vibe to her. And I can't help but wonder if the fact she is still this perky has something to do with her lack of awareness in some areas. (For one, she just realized what a trigger warning was a couple of weeks ago because she saw one on Facebook.)

[vafhj]

bump....

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, vafhj I think the fear of dying young is a pretty common fear. What exacly triggered this fear in your mind? Anything specific? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[vafhj]

What I talked about was not a fear, but an envy.

[downandlonely]

I used to want to die before I get old too, but as I've aged I changed my mind. I can see the joys life has to offer as well as the sorrows.

Personally, I believe life is full of suffering, and I think not to exist is better than coming to this life, but I don't believe that killing anyone does any favor to the victims. I don't know, maybe others want to live their lives, and love life.

I would like to die young for the simple reason that I just can't see myself living to an old age- not in this state anyway.

I just don't have nothing to live for, and I almost see it as foolish to carry on living when it seems like I have nothing

and I'm talking big things.. I'm not talking the things so many people take for granted- heat, food, shelter, etc, I'm talking life purpose- that's something that completely eludes me

I'd hate to live to 50 and 60, look back on my life and think well why did I bother

may as well just get it over with then I don't have to face my biggist fear- that's failiure at life

one of the things that scare me right now is when people ask me what I'd like to do in a year from now, my answer is

"I want to be in the ground"

I know I have to change that- or do I really?

can you force someone to do something when their's nothing in this life that apeals to them?

just a thought

[vafhj]

To think that I don't even want to die right now because there is still hope. It's just that I fetishize the idea of living life on easy mode and fetishize the idea of living a cushy and spoiled life and dying before things get bad. Or failing all that, I wish that I could be the normiest normie who ever normied. OK fine, I don't like the idea of sacrificing my individuality, failing all that, I wish I were stronger and hard to traumatize. As one could tell, I am always retroactively fixing the past by making hypothetical situations. Is it possible to live for so long and yet not have any traumas that are anything else but mild? - Quora Yeah, I ****ing wonder. Then again, y'all may not be able to relate. After all, to be here, y'all clearly don't have it easy, if you did, you wouldn't be here.

[MickeyCheeky]

Sending many hugs to you, vafhj

[whatdoesitmean]

I always thought that I would die young. My mother died at 36 (when I was 17) and I was obsessed with the thought that I would die when I was 36, of breast cancer, like she did. I didn't, and honestly, I don't know if I am happy about that or not. Sometimes, it just seems like it would have been so much easier. Life is really not easy, at least, for some of us, and sometimes I wonder, what is it all for?

Originally Posted by whatdoesitmean

I always thought that I would die young. My mother died at 36 (when I was 17) and I was obsessed with the thought that I would die when I was 36, of breast cancer, like she did. I didn't, and honestly, I don't know if I am happy about that or not. Sometimes, it just seems like it would have been so much easier. Life is really not easy, at least, for some of us, and sometimes I wonder, what is it all for?

I'm glad you are still here with us

and welcome btw. hope you like the site

I've told many people this and many of them think I'm crazy for thinking this way but I flat out told people that if we don't develop the tech to either turn people into cyborgs or lock their consciousness into video games by the time I'm 60, then that is the age I want to die as. Yes, I am a total nerd weirdo that wants to have my limbs and organs replaced with upgraded mechanical parts and/or or live in one of my video game worlds. Tech and video games are the only two things in life that bring me any kind of joy.

Being old, undesirable to people, and too weak to enjoy life? No thanks. Nobody gives a crap about elders; it's always about the kids. When I'm too old and unattractive, no woman will want me. Hell, I'm too much of a dork to attract women as a 20 something. When I'm 50-60? Girls would run in fear from me.

So if I can't be something more than just a generic undesirable elder, than I would rather die. Better to live or die at my turns than to give society another way to laugh at and judge me.

Oh and for the record, maturity is a crock of B.S. I refuse to act my age. I most often act like a teen even though I'm in my late 20s because IDGAF about being mature all to please the same society that was against me my whole life. I will act the same way when I'm 40 as I do now if people don't like it they can blow me

[Quarter life]

Mortality sure does play tricks on us...and yes mental illness, poverty, and all the private evils that go along with living a lesser life than we deserve, can mess with our will to live. But I can speak from personal experience, I have had more than my fair share of devastation, mental illness & anguish. However, when one is gripped with possible terminal illness, and/or unspeakable physical pain...every one of us will fight with every breath within us for one more year...one more month...one more day....one more hour...one more minute.

Over my Fifty+ years here on this earth, I have learned one thing of absolute truth...'Death' makes 'Life' so very very important.

[vafhj]

Originally Posted by vafhj

BTW, this is concerning, but not the "OMG, you might kill yourself" kinda concerning. I don't exactly want to die right now because if I were to die right now, that would mean I would die knowing what suffering was. But it's just that I've been so edgy today and I've even asked people on Yahoo Answers if they believe child murderers did their victims a favor by not letting them get old and angsty. You see, I'm obsessed with the idea of not having truly suffered until your dying moments.

Do you believe that child murderers did their victims a favor by not letting them grow old and angsty? | Yahoo Answers It does make me wonder: what kind of person would answer yes to my question? My question is of the kind that is so edgy and so messed up that it is almost always silenced by moderation every time I ask that. I guess not many people have this mentality that life is so bad that all killing is mercy killing.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

I've told many people this and many of them think I'm crazy for thinking this way but I flat out told people that if we don't develop the tech to either turn people into cyborgs or lock their consciousness into video games by the time I'm 60, then that is the age I want to die as.

After seeing what happened to my parents I have considered hiring something to take me out at 75 quickly.

But my motto is "I am telling you, I'm not going".

That being said, I would prefer just not to get "infirm" and I refuse to believe that I have to. Both of my parents succumbed to the "medical state." My dad was taken out by cholesterol drugs and poor health advice and my mom died of drug side effects, drugs that were straight up NOT necessary.

But even they made it to a ripe old age without getting unable to do things. Dad was ok until he was like 75 and mom was ok honestly until 6 weeks before she passed at 82.

To me my life will get easy at 60, when I will qualify for my pension and also, be able to retire.

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

After seeing what happened to my parents I have considered hiring something to take me out at 75 quickly.

To me my life will get easy at 60, when I will qualify for my pension and also, be able to retire.

I just worry that when I get to such an age, I will cease to be relevant and I will outlive my usefulness to people and they won't want to deal with me anymore.

I don't want children and I can't seem to find/hold relationships. Heck, I don't even find being in a relationship for more than 3-5 years desirable as it is so I know that nobody will give a **** about me after I reach a certain age.

Still though, I support anti aging research. I think that we will have a breakthrough and be able to slow or halt the aging process by the time I'm 660-70. If that happens, I'll gladly choose to live much longer. Being too feeble and too unattractive to people? No thanks. Being a 100 year old and looking and feeling like I'm 30? Hell yes!


If nothing else, I delight in the idea of humanity playing God just to give any real Gods or deities that may or may not exist the finger

[vafhj]

Originally Posted by vafhj

Do you believe that child murderers did their victims a favor by not letting them grow old and angsty? | Yahoo Answers It does make me wonder: what kind of person would answer yes to my question? My question is of the kind that is so edgy and so messed up that it is almost always silenced by moderation every time I ask that. I guess not many people have this mentality that life is so bad that all killing is mercy killing.

That nobody seems to agree with my edgy question (which I don't mean anyway), seems to be proof of a universal human truth, that people want others to live. That even the most suicidal of people seem to recognize how messed up my question is, it has got to be proof that no matter whether you want to live or don't, most likely, you still want others to live.

[vafhj]

Originally Posted by Anonymous57609

Personally, I believe life is full of suffering, and I think not to exist is better than coming to this life, but I don't believe that killing anyone does any favor to the victims. I don't know, maybe others want to live their lives, and love life.

That it all sounds messed up, it has got to be proof of how growing up can't be as bad as snowflakey awnd immature people say it is. If it were actually that bad, then institutionalized child murder would be a thing.

[sarahsweets]

I remember thinking that when my mom was 43 she was "so old". She has always aged well. She is 66 now and you wouldnt know it. She maybe looks 55. I am 43 now and I do not know if my perspective is damaged but I do not feel 43, and I do not think I look 43 (not trying to be vain..thats not what I meant). I know having had kids young (first was at age 20) that I am able to grow with them through these technological times. I remember when the internet was nothing more than an inter-office or interuniversity (internal) email-like system called PINE(google it its so lame). I remember when you could really only use a computer in the computer lab at school and the invention of IRC chat rooms-and when someone could send a disgusting picture that would fill the whole screen of everyone's monitor in the computer lab-painfully buffering(imagine a porn picture filling the screens of giant heavy monitor of like 25 people). I remember my first nokia cell phone with the stubby attena(sp). I remember my first texting flip motorola phone. I remember my first blackberry roller ball cell phone and waiting forever for the web page to load...OMG this is totally off track *thanks adhd*. ANYWAY- I am not obsessed with dying young and I do think you can mitigate some of the mental signs of aging by staying plugged in and up to date with technology and your kids.

[sarahsweets]

Another thing...My best friend from college swore he would die by the time he was 30, constantly joked about it. We went to Vegas in December which was the month he turned 30. I told him " well if you are going to die when you turn 30 it better not be on this plane or I am dying with you."

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I remember thinking that when my mom was 43 she was "so old". She has always aged well. She is 66 now and you wouldnt know it. She maybe looks 55. I am 43 now and I do not know if my perspective is damaged but I do not feel 43, and I do not think I look 43 (not trying to be vain..thats not what I meant). I know having had kids young (first was at age 20) that I am able to grow with them through these technological times. I remember when the internet was nothing more than an inter-office or interuniversity (internal) email-like system called PINE(google it its so lame). I remember when you could really only use a computer in the computer lab at school and the invention of IRC chat rooms-and when someone could send a disgusting picture that would fill the whole screen of everyone's monitor in the computer lab-painfully buffering(imagine a porn picture filling the screens of giant heavy monitor of like 25 people). I remember my first nokia cell phone with the stubby attena(sp). I remember my first texting flip motorola phone. I remember my first blackberry roller ball cell phone and waiting forever for the web page to load...OMG this is totally off track *thanks adhd*. ANYWAY- I am not obsessed with dying young and I do think you can mitigate some of the mental signs of aging by staying plugged in and up to date with technology and your kids.

Ahh good old IRC. I'm only 27 but I've used IRC more than once. Until recently, IRC remained the preferred communication method for hackers but it is still used sometimes. Brings back memories of my days on 4chan haha

Anyways, I don't mean this in a creepy way but if that pic on your profile is really you than I am kinda shocked that you're 43. You look really good for your age honestly. I think you would pass for being in your mid to late 20s. Your family must age well.

But yeah, I just feel like I'll be lonely when I'm older because nobody will want anything to do with me. That's why I am afraid of getting old.

[sarahsweets]

lol yes its me. I've had purple hair for like 5 years.

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend

Ahh good old IRC. I'm only 27 but I've used IRC more than once. Until recently, IRC remained the preferred communication method for hackers but it is still used sometimes. Brings back memories of my days on 4chan haha

Anyways, I don't mean this in a creepy way but if that pic on your profile is really you than I am kinda shocked that you're 43. You look really good for your age honestly. I think you would pass for being in your mid to late 20s. Your family must age well.

But yeah, I just feel like I'll be lonely when I'm older because nobody will want anything to do with me. That's why I am afraid of getting old.

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

lol yes its me. I've had purple hair for like 5 years.

Well, you're pretty and your hair is awesome I really like the color

I'm not trying to be a weirdo or creeper I just wanted to say something nice about somebody for once in my life. I hope that's OK