How are you coping today? #6

Coping by trying to keep calm.

I feel angry all the time.

Sorry <3

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I am sorry Buffy. That's a horribly feeling to endure constantly. To me, it can make me feel powerful at times, and give me energy to burn through. But overall, it's a fire that burns my heart, my body, and my soul.
I have been working on letting go of it with some success. It's uncomfortable, and I feel weaker now than I ever did before. But I also feel more, I even smell more, as my senses are less tied by this this all-consuming emotion.
I wish for both of us, to work through the anger and the underlying fear and sadness (and whatever else there is) and one day live a full day, to be just present with the smells and taste of a beautiful day in spring.

Thank you.

I like to know how your letting go. I think that the anger is making me sick.

I hear you. I wish that I knew how to keep calm.

Watching Christmas movies

It makes me sick, too.
I meditate (though lately, with some difficulty).
I stopped fully submitting my life to my families wishes. I still see them, and I still do things for them, but I do them more on my terms now then ever before. I never visit the worst parts of my family anymore. I don't stay in contact with my cousins who were abused by their primary caregiver when we were all children either...
I do sports. Espacially when I get angry. In the summer, I took my bike out for hours even after work. Once, when I got angry with a collegue, I just took a break and rode my bike for an hour, and then had a slow lunch. I work from at home.
I go to therapy. I tell T about some of the horrible thoughts I have, and still he stays and is my T (though he had a lot of doubts at the beginning and mybe still does).
I wind down, watching old TV shows. Mostly shows I have watched a million times before. No surprises.
I cuddle my stuffed animals and sometimes I talk to them.
I make as sure as I can with my limited influence that my neffew has a good life. It brings me joy when I see him happy. Unless he hits plants! Then I get to explain to him calmly and repeatedly that we don't hurt living creatures. In case he has the same genetic predisposition as I do, I want him to have a strong, secure moral understanding. And of course a happy childhood with healthy boundaries.
I do small things I like. Too rarely as of now, but I'll make more time for those in the future. You know, like food, a book, a movie, a walk, whatever brings me joy.
I am changing careers. My old one didn't really suit me. It burned me out. This one is much better.

The key for me was and is, as they say, baby steps.

I saw a freind today, we exchanged presents and cards

That is awesome

That is awesome.

I will keep that in mind.

I'm having a terrible time coping today.........The rain yesterday, and high winds today caused a big section of my fence to collapse, and 2 large trees in my yard are leaning, so trees will have to be cut down tomorrow...!!......I'm having an anxiety attack just thinking about those trees!!.......I'm trying to calm down now with some herbal tea......

I am forcing myself for the past two days especially yesterday December 23 is my mom anniversary of her passing to watch Christmas movies and listening to Christmas music.

I’m so sorry. I hope your anxiety goes down.

I’m coping, final Christmas Eve mayhem shift done and planning a quiet day tomorrow.

I’m coping by swearing.

Today, I am lazy. I haven't done a thing except for cooking myself noodels and coffee. Just recovering from the last 2 days I guess, but tomorrow, I really need to get some work done.

Sounds like a great idea to do.

Sometimes we just have those days.

I'm coping decently I guess. I've been pretty lazy and I haven't kept up on any of my chores or the other ADL. But I'm just physically worn out today. Emotionally I've been ok.

I called a friend and watched a movie and tv show as well as self help videos after my sister best friend triggered me.

Sometimes I feel this way myself.

I was coping good today, but I can feel myself folding right this moment. It's okay though. So I won't do the task I had set for myself tonight, I did do like 6hours of chores today, AND went to the gym. It's good enough. I can be proud of myself. And dinner is on the stove, and pretty healthy, too. It'll be ready in like 40min. And until it is, I don't need to attend to it. So folding right this instant is fine. I'll just watch TV for the rest of the night and stay folded until tomorrow.