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Default Nov 17, 2022 at 04:03 PM
  #801
I got my dentist appointment out of the way. It was pretty much pain free. I've had needles in way worse places then in my mouth and they were not fun. One was downright traumatic. So novacaine was a piece of cake. Especially with how much numbing gel she put on before the shot. It cost me $487 to get 2 minor cavities fixed. Considering how much soda I consume daily I should consider myself lucky that I got off so easy with just the 2. Now I go back in April just for a 6 month cleaning.

Then Thanksgiving is going to be a bigger deal then I thought and my mom and I argued about it. We are staying 2 nights instead of just overnight. I am worried about a couple people who will be there who weren't orginally part of the plan. Also I'm worried about catching Covid again. Then theres this bad anxiety and I don't know if its med related or situational. But without a therapist until the start of December and all the other stuff going on, I've been quite ornery bordering on angry today.

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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Nov 17, 2022 at 04:55 PM..
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Default Nov 17, 2022 at 04:10 PM
  #802
I still don’t have emotions under control when triggered. It’s freeze or fight then turned inward crying. He’s still the one, the button presser. It’s not even always him doing anything wrong, often just terrible communication issues, chronic misunderstandings.

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Default Nov 17, 2022 at 04:42 PM
  #803
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I still don’t have emotions under control when triggered. It’s freeze or fight then turned inward crying. He’s still the one, the button presser. It’s not even always him doing anything wrong, often just terrible communication issues, chronic misunderstandings.
I go into a freeze mode when there's a dangers (if i feel its a dangers), learned behaviour cause freezing would de-fuse *his* anger
 
 
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Heart Nov 17, 2022 at 09:26 PM
  #804
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I got my dentist appointment out of the way. It was pretty much pain free. I've had needles in way worse places then in my mouth and they were not fun. One was downright traumatic. So novacaine was a piece of cake. Especially with how much numbing gel she put on before the shot. It cost me $487 to get 2 minor cavities fixed. Considering how much soda I consume daily I should consider myself lucky that I got off so easy with just the 2. Now I go back in April just for a 6 month cleaning.

Then Thanksgiving is going to be a bigger deal then I thought and my mom and I argued about it. We are staying 2 nights instead of just overnight. I am worried about a couple people who will be there who weren't orginally part of the plan. Also I'm worried about catching Covid again. Then theres this bad anxiety and I don't know if its med related or situational. But without a therapist until the start of December and all the other stuff going on, I've been quite ornery bordering on angry today.
I understand how you feel about the holidays. I understand how you feel about having covid because everyone who lives with me had covid.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 19, 2022 at 10:44 AM
  #805
I’m in a negative state of mind today, it’s rained endlessly, it’s dark, cold, and I know work is likely to be tough coming up because of an ongoing staff absence. I’m doing positive stuff but my mood is still gloomy.
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Default Nov 19, 2022 at 04:57 PM
  #806
I didn't take a shower for the second day in a row. But I got my laundry done which I've been bad at. I'd like a valium right now but I'm already 2 days short and I've gotten talked to by the pharamacy about the system or whatever and filling it early too many times.

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Heart Nov 19, 2022 at 05:22 PM
  #807
I decided to clean up a little bit more of my closet today.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Heart Nov 19, 2022 at 05:54 PM
  #808
I have been feeling really awful today. So I decided to watch some Christmas movies on Hulu as well as self help videos. I was thinking that it might help me feel better.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 20, 2022 at 08:56 AM
  #809
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Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I have been feeling really awful today. So I decided to watch some Christmas movies on Hulu as well as self help videos. I was thinking that it might help me feel better.
That sounds like a great idea to watch Christmas movies -hope it’s helping you!
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Heart Nov 20, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  #810
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That sounds like a great idea to watch Christmas movies -hope it’s helping you!
I been trying to find new ways to fight my depression.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 22, 2022 at 11:50 AM
  #811
I just ate two of the mini lindt chocolate bears from a package that I was suppose to give to my psychoterapist as a gift

I am on my period and i have been not touching sweets for two/three weeks

Yesterday when I came home and unpacked my groceries I was looking at those chocolate bears knowing that they would have been safer locked somewhere

So I continued my scarf project on loomknit that will also be part of the little gift

Today I had a discussion with my mother and i went straight to the chocolate.

Now.
I wonder if I could save the survived bears and maybe packing them in a chiffon bag or something. But since it is food idk. It would be not very proper

#WorldFirstProblems.
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Heart Nov 22, 2022 at 03:06 PM
  #812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gasplessy View Post
I just ate two of the mini lindt chocolate bears from a package that I was suppose to give to my psychoterapist as a gift

I am on my period and i have been not touching sweets for two/three weeks

Yesterday when I came home and unpacked my groceries I was looking at those chocolate bears knowing that they would have been safer locked somewhere

So I continued my scarf project on loomknit that will also be part of the little gift

Today I had a discussion with my mother and i went straight to the chocolate.

Now.
I wonder if I could save the survived bears and maybe packing them in a chiffon bag or something. But since it is food idk. It would be not very proper

#WorldFirstProblems.
We always crave chocolate when it is that time of the month.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 23, 2022 at 01:33 PM
  #813
This has not been one of my best days!

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Default Nov 23, 2022 at 03:56 PM
  #814
I'm thinking of the Wednesday before Thanksgiving 2018 when I ate something that didn't agree with me and I puked my guts out that night. Not the night you want to be sick. I kind of feel the same way tonight. Overall I coped well besidee the nausea.

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Default Nov 23, 2022 at 04:07 PM
  #815
Today I have been using distraction as much as possible.

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Default Nov 23, 2022 at 05:21 PM
  #816
Today I have been stressed and scared as he**.
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Default Nov 24, 2022 at 11:04 AM
  #817
It’s dark and raining at 4pm but I’m doing okay, got some things done I needed to.
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Default Nov 24, 2022 at 02:36 PM
  #818
I'm coping better today than yesterday. I have been able to push myself more ...

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Heart Nov 24, 2022 at 02:44 PM
  #819
I been watching Christmas movies to help me feel better.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 25, 2022 at 01:27 PM
  #820
Coping quite well really considering yesterday was the worst day I'd had in a while - very dark. Bounced back satisfactorily though.

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