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ladyofmistakes
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ladyofmistakes Hurting Beyond Belief
 
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Default Nov 25, 2022 at 02:12 PM
  #821
Some time in the near future I will have to be either moving in with my mom in a small two-bedroom house, or into a low-income housing apartment whenever the next one becomes available. I don't like how I'm going to be able to do either of them. I am SO scared to live on my own and have to go to the store or get gas myself. Living with my mom would be different-- eventually I'd resent her--- for what?! My situation?! What's the saying- we kick those we love...??And we'd get on each other's nerves like mad. Not too much space in that house but I would feel safer. I'd feel more stuck too. How do I decide this?!! Also, what do you all do when you're anxious about something and just.can Not get it off your mind. I've tried distractions. Doesn't work. For a few minutes but then I'm right back to thinking about it all again. Ooohhh I don't know what to do!!!!!
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Heart Nov 25, 2022 at 02:59 PM
  #822
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Originally Posted by mote.of.soul View Post
Coping quite well really considering yesterday was the worst day I'd had in a while - very dark. Bounced back satisfactorily though.
I’m sorry it wasn’t a very good day yesterday. I’m glad that you were able to bounce back.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

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Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

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That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 25, 2022 at 03:59 PM
  #823
I feel like a mess. I have my period and I'm assuming this amongst other things is exhausting me. I cried a bit on the train today. Just like 3 or 4 tears, easily wiped away. I did not see them coming. Therapy felt intense the last 2 times. Perhaps that is another reason. Maybe T is testing my limits.

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Default Nov 25, 2022 at 06:59 PM
  #824
I do this thing that I'm not quite sure is healthy or not. I'm not even sure why I do it. Maybe I just legit like doing them and theres no ulterior motive. Basically when I'm in my homestate I like to go to all the stores I went to before Covid got really bad. And I'm not sure if its because it was right before my life got turned upside down, or if it has something to do with my old therapist and the video sessions. I've never really figured it out though.

I think I did good today. I was kinda crabby at one point, but I think it was mostly my mom.

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Default Nov 25, 2022 at 07:04 PM
  #825
Mountaindewed we all have our vices. What I "turn to" in such hours of crises is something that has almost killed me a couple times. Would you care to share to the board? If not, feel free to write me. I will listen.
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Heart Nov 25, 2022 at 08:35 PM
  #826
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Originally Posted by ladyofmistakes View Post
Some time in the near future I will have to be either moving in with my mom in a small two-bedroom house, or into a low-income housing apartment whenever the next one becomes available. I don't like how I'm going to be able to do either of them. I am SO scared to live on my own and have to go to the store or get gas myself. Living with my mom would be different-- eventually I'd resent her--- for what?! My situation?! What's the saying- we kick those we love...??And we'd get on each other's nerves like mad. Not too much space in that house but I would feel safer. I'd feel more stuck too. How do I decide this?!! Also, what do you all do when you're anxious about something and just.can Not get it off your mind. I've tried distractions. Doesn't work. For a few minutes but then I'm right back to thinking about it all again. Ooohhh I don't know what to do!!!!!
That is understandable. We feel like that with our family. Take it easy on yourself.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Heart Nov 25, 2022 at 08:36 PM
  #827
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Originally Posted by AliceKate View Post
I feel like a mess. I have my period and I'm assuming this amongst other things is exhausting me. I cried a bit on the train today. Just like 3 or 4 tears, easily wiped away. I did not see them coming. Therapy felt intense the last 2 times. Perhaps that is another reason. Maybe T is testing my limits.
That is normal when it that time of the month.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 04:16 AM
  #828
HI @ladyofmistakes, hope you're managing well with your new situation. Can definitely relate to having to adjust to change, yes.

Quote:
... How do I decide this?!! Also, what do you all do when you're anxious about something and just.can Not get it off your mind. I've tried distractions. Doesn't work. For a few minutes but then I'm right back to thinking about it all again. Ooohhh I don't know what to do!!!!!
Yeah, I can see how doing things on your own will be a great adjustment for you. I understand. What I'd probably do is to really start to accept, in your mind, the new reality you'll be facing; the new challenges, and plan ahead in advance for what you will need to do.

Maybe start by doing small things on your own first, and then slowly build up from there to the bigger things little by little, day by day, becoming more independent. You'll be proud of yourself for achieving these things, for pushing through the fears, and you can give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out to find solutions too. Maybe the 'doing small things first' can be the distraction for you, from the anxiety of thinking about it. And perhaps apply this principle to changing your approach with your mom as well - to one of peace and tolerance, love - all of these kinds of things. Because it's all about changes taking place.🙂🙏

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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 04:27 AM
  #829
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I’m sorry it wasn’t a very good day yesterday. I’m glad that you were able to bounce back.
Thanks so much @Buffy01, it's really nice of you, thanks.🙏

Hope you're coping well too, my friend. ((Hugs))

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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 08:00 AM
  #830
Hopeless, i just want to hide in silence
Wish the best for others
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Heart Nov 26, 2022 at 09:57 AM
  #831
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Originally Posted by mote.of.soul View Post
Thanks so much @Buffy01, it's really nice of you, thanks.🙏

Hope you're coping well too, my friend. ((Hugs))
Your welcome.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 02:13 PM
  #832
I'm coping today by writing some journal prompts. Listening to music with some chicken and wild rice soup on the stove. I seem to have looked in the mirror just right at myself and I look different in my perspective. I seem to be coping with it?? I've decided to stop using my phone so much because it seems like it's upsetting me to do that. The laptop is where it's at. I have my cell phone turned off because I need to rely less on it, even as a crutch. I hope that I can find the will power and hence I have asked God to let me just let it be.

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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 02:40 PM
  #833
I’m a little anxious about work tomorrow, I’m anxious about a colleague’s well-being too. I’m also a little anxious about my friend who has covid in the family.

However I’m also happy my adult son is home for the weekend and I’m also aware how lucky I am in many ways.
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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 02:54 PM
  #834
[QUOTE=mote.of.soul;7279047]HI @ladyofmistakes, hope you're managing well with your new situation. Can

I just want to die. Right now. I just need to muster up the courage to try again. Thank you so much.
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Default Nov 26, 2022 at 03:39 PM
  #835
You're welcome @ladyofmistakes, you'll be okay, it'll be difficult but you'll be okay. Keep reaching out on here too please, it may provide you comfort and with ideas to help you navigate through the challenges. Think of it like the little caterpillar transforming into the magnificent butterfly perhaps. Anyway, we're all here on MSF facing challenges too, so you're very much not alone, friend. One day at a time, as they say. 🙏🙏🙏

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Heart Nov 27, 2022 at 10:12 AM
  #836
I been journaling all of my bad feelings and trying to see the good things in my life.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 27, 2022 at 01:09 PM
  #837
I feel more stressed about work, there are so many people off sick at the moment I’m struggling with the workload.
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Heart Nov 27, 2022 at 05:55 PM
  #838
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I feel more stressed about work, there are so many people off sick at the moment I’m struggling with the workload.
That is understandable

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 27, 2022 at 06:04 PM
  #839
I'm here on the forums, & I'm trying to plan & visualize better moments ahead.

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Heart Nov 27, 2022 at 08:06 PM
  #840
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I'm here on the forums, & I'm trying to plan & visualize better moments ahead.
Not a bad plan

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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