How are you coping today? #7

I did some exercise today. I was less worried but am exhausted after a long week.

I been watching some movies to help me feel better.

Been giving in to laziness so far today.

I feel like my emotions have been kind of all over the place. I got really hurt by some fairly minor things with the guy I am seeing, and they seemed and felt like a big deal to me at the time. But I also try to take into consideration that we have ONLY just met each other and we are still figuring each other out. We are both really into each other, we also both have a very hurtful broken past from our ex's and being treated wrong, harmfully, toxically and being used and abused by both of us from the past. However! instead of what I have seen with other lovers, and dating partners in the past, this guy is not projecting actions from his past ex's onto me like my ex does from early on in our relationships.
If you need to clarify what I mean by that, I mean if one of the ex-girlfriend's of NOW ex-boyfriend, cheated on him and he would almost seem to seek out excuses to find similarities with me to that person.Just to point the finger and say " YOUR CHEATING" when in fact I was not!
I feel like a lot of my emotions are due to two major factor's #1 I am just ending my first trimester of pregnancy, a pregnancy I had not expected to have and at the beginning honestly thought I was not goint to keep but emtionally I simply could not do it.
Pregnancy as we all learn in human anatomy if you ever take it! or at least biology is a challenging and VERY emotional time to deal with. Its been even harder for me since, from the very beginning I knew I was going to go at this all for the most part alone.
The two men that could be the potential fathers are so unhealthy, abusive, and toxic that I just completely and utterly refuse to have that door potentially open back up in my life even for potentially getting child support from them.
cause I feel like to some degree they would hold it against me that I did and be and remain bitter towards me and kids(having twins)\
Of course, this was not how I envisioned being a first-time mom, at all but families are not all the same, and how I go about doing this with my twins is on me more than anyone else! and that is what is keeping me out of the deep deep recesses of depression the most right now.
but I have not been able to come out and talk to as much of my family about all this as I would like due to my circumstances and the potential rejection or judgement I am afriad of potentally facing when having that disscussion.

I'm sitting in a park with my support worker and discussing ways to help myself through my current crisis.

I'm doing pretty good. I slipped a bit yesterday. Back in the saddle today. I have to learn to value time.

I'm doing well today. Trying to follow the principles of Stoicism in processing emotions. Watched a video today on Youtube with Ryan Holiday who has written several books about the philosophy of stoicism. I'm really enjoying this - feel like I have needed this my whole life. Plus since it's not a religion I feel free to cherry-pick what beliefs suit me. lol

I use a timer for almost everything. I don't have to stick to it - I can re-set it, but it helps me track how much time I spend in various activities (I'm retired).

I been trying :hug to keep myself busy from my family who abusive towards me

I am not coping well today. I had to take ativan to manage my nerves.

My nerves are really bad.

I'm coping a lot better today. Over the week, I felt completely awful and depressed.

Today I decided to sleep in. I definitely needed it.

I am coping much better today. I am almost finished packing away my Christmas decorations and bringing the boxes outside to my storage closet. This went faster than I expected.

For background noise, I have the radio on, instead of the TV. It's much better to listen to, while working.

I'm really being thorough and telling myself things today instead of just going through the day.

I’m stressing out because I’m having a hard time organising tradesmen with the project in the house, people have let me down and tbh I’m frustrated and angry about it. I’m having to work on staying calm and communicating in an effective professional way, but time is running out and I need the jobs doing before the next stage. I feel out of control and we’ve got stuff everywhere at the moment, which doesn’t help.

I’m going to work on reorganisation this afternoon and hopefully that’ll help me feel some semblance of control and order. I’ll try to keep calm.

Fingers crossed for you, @Discombobulated! Hugs with wishes coming your way!

I planned to watch some movies today and try to ignore my other sister who is just using us for our water, detergent.

I started taking Stratera 5 days ago or so.
I have not had a set routine of things to do for quite sometime now.
I am trying to find out how to structure my day (Been on disability now for years, but I was taking adrenal before it started being in short supply)
I know I have a big issue with motivation, following set routines, "laziness"...

I am not coping today, I am stressing about utilizing the focus that Strattera started giving me with the fact that I'm still sleeping a lot.

I've been not coping the best. Using some less than healthy coping skills.

Stay safe Kit. Hugs.

Thank you so much dear @Breaking Dawn your hugs and wishes reached me. Today I’m much more hopeful these tradesmen will turn up at last!

I've been very frustrated lately by my inability to cope positively with my emotions. I am really going to try to do better. I hope my new therapist can help me.

I talked to my therapist today

I hope it all works out for you... Maybe you can look into 12 step groups, there are a wide variety of them. My wife and I belong to AA, we have been going for quite a few years now... The fellowship is really helpful...
Good luck.

80 Powerful 12-Step Groups for Recovery - mind remake project

It’s been a few months since I had any emotional dysregulation! He was the trigger, and I have removed the trigger now. Just wow… This is mind blowing for me to see that while I do have an underlying health issue that caused the ED, it was him who triggered it. I don’t have ED reactions in general, not even from my triggering mother. I get upset by her, but not ED. Well, I guess I just have to look back and say it was just very unfortunate that my partner was such a trigger due to his behavior. I’m not going to put myself into a relationship again feeling as broken as I do now. So I should be alright? Three months and counting…

I seem to be in a state of removal from whatever.