How to cope or work on this ?

I am chronically dependant on others. I can't even identify what to consistently work on because it's just that bad. I was wondering if maybe there's a step program or something to help with this or what's worked for you in the past.
I have to ask for help literally on an almost daily basis. As an adult I can't even meet my own basic human needs to begin a routine.
My life generally seems to fall apart when I feel like I'm making the first step to where I'd be stable enough to start independance but I'm flimsy.
I don't even have a starting point here.

Welcome to the forums @Individualperson.
The first thing I would suggest is to look into options for a therapist. They can help you talk through your experience and start to see how to take the next important steps. You could also try looking for a DBT workbook online.
You should also take a moment to acknowledge that you've already taken the first step to recovering, by reaching out for help online. That can be a big step, but you made it.

Thanks for the suggestion about the workbook. I've actually been looping into mental health for almost my entire life. But I keep ending up not in mental health then back again.
I'm not getting why I can't be fixed or even what's wrong with me that everyone else seems to be aware of. I don't want to bother going back because I never get to the point where they say I've improved or I'm cured of who I am.Where does it all lead ?

Interesting point of view. Why are you leaving it up to "them" to say if you have improved? You even left it up to us to correct your spelling. That seems kinda sneaky! My longterm therapist always asked me, what's your payoff, what do you gain from this behavior?

I definitely did not want to "take responsibility." I remember telling college friends that i wanted my parents to choose a husband for me, because then, if it didnt work out, they couldnt blame me! It wouldnt be my fault! But that presupposes a failed outcome.

You can find an outcome you desire and take responsibility for attaining it. Fall six times, get up seven.

I gain not being alone ,I feel like I'm told to do things or expected to . Before I know what I'm doing. Or told to do things I don't want to do. Then they come back around with judgements after leaving me alone to my own devices which I don't actually have. I've gained nothing actually .I feel used and set up. I feel forced to take responsibility for things I shouldn't have an issue with and quite frankly don't understand. I feel like im literally living an entire life I don't want and I can't understand why . I don't understand their perspective at all and what they're even telling me to do .All I know is they seem to be trying to accuse and guilt trip me . When I try to close in on whatever is going on by being as direct as possible or ask them to see my own perspective they seem to staunchly refuse. I just feel manipulate by the whole situation but think it's odd that so many people seem to share this perspective and behaviour and yet im somehow different. I feel really isolated and manipulated. I literally physically can't move on from certain experiences and conversations and im just not getting why it's like it's supposed to be a lifestyle. Like im stuck in the same physical environment . like my life is literally geting physically replaced. people ,things, etc . it's really weird.