ADA accomodations

Okay, I have been lurking and angry. I have poured all of my strength into visualizing hubby being fine with the upcoming neuro surgery. I have been having a good attitude and trying to be healthy. Staff meeting today and I am told that I need to set a time for my evaluation which has not been done since 2003. I set a date and then tell my super that I am really not up to it and I would rather she mail it to me and I will respond. She stated that she and her super who is my old super both wanted to meet with me and I said I felt to fragile for that. She said she doubted she could do anything about that.

ALSO! Today I get "THE LETTER" hand delivered. It says that they don't accept that I need accomodations and that the things that I asked for would be dealt with in these ways... It also said that my diagnoses don't support the need for accomodations. Okay, so I ask my super what the heck this means and she says something like look the agency is willing to do these things without making it special and that last paragraph in there about expecting me to adhere to the standards is just reaffirming that I do my job well. So, I spoke some about the horrible meeting and my reactions. Spoke of my hurt about the lack of support I got with the move and furniture for the new office just to be criticized. gets nowhere, why talk.

I called the director of the agency and said, John, be honest, just tell me what the heck is going on here. He said that I was not performing at the level they knew I was able to and that there was a job to do and if I couldn't do it according to the standards then I had to look at other options. He said I was result oriented and tended to not put enough time into the dreaded state paperwork. He reminded me that he and the agency had stuck by me with some legal issues with the state last year. I reminded him that I was greatful and have been a dedicated employee for 16 years. I told him that my brain doesn't work the way it used to and that I was trying and I wanted to do a good job. I told him that despite paperwork errors that I still do a fine job. I reminded him that I went back to work 2 weeks after my kid died and was expected to, and did, function full force. No room for anything but overfunctioning. I told him that I felt like I did my job well in that my clients and families are happy with me. I told him of my lack of supervision and support with the move, he was not affected. He said I should move foreward. He said that there was no way that I was going to have my evaluation not face to face eventhough I told him I was fragile. He said there is never a good time for me, now it's hubby's neuro-surgery, before it was depression and before that was the legal stuff. So I said fine, I will do it face to face. Told myself I would load up on drugs before hand.

I asked him to please send the original medical documentation letters back to me as I felt that it was not appropriate for him or the agency to have them, considering the outcome, and I asked him to promise there would be no copies made. He said he'd send the letters back, no promises of anything though.

I left a voice mail for my immediate super saying fine, have the meeting for my evaluation and can it be earlier in the week? I plan on taking klonopin and some pain killers before hand as I won't give the bastards the satisfaction of showing emotion this time. I also will be very careful to speak only to the present issue and briefly at that.

I was naive at best in being honest about what is happening for me. It was stupid of me to believe that I could be honest and less then super-functional. They actually told me more clients, less time with them each. I respected my agency. I loved my agency. I feel confused and need feedback. I am even afraid to send this due to what's been happening here lately but what the heck huh? It's only on the web!

((((((((((((((wise))))))))))))))))



I'm sory things aren't going too well .

Aw gee I KNOW what is meant by "there is never a good time" I live that too... because I keep denying that THIS IS my life now... and the "good time" doesn't really come, that was part of the past.

Sounds like a plan! Also, if you know some of the areas they will ask questions, TRY very hard TRY to write a sentence to READ back that has the good reply (unemotional) that you wish them to hear, and that they might need to have legally! This is difficult, I know. Is there someone who will help you formulate your statements in writing? Maybe you have said them here, and you can print out those posts?

You do the best you can with this, ok? Life isn't fair, but as long as we do the best we can, what more can be done? ...and we won't beat ourselves up afterwards nearly as much...

I'm astounded that they can simply disagree with your the opinion of your doctor! Please document everything with date, time, who said what because these folks are really walking into a pile of trouble, imo.

If you have a chance, take a look at The Bazelon Center's website. They have so much great info on psychiatric issues and the law. They have helped a lot of people.

http://www.bazelon.org/issues/disabi.../eeocguide.htm

I'm sorry you are going through so much at work when you have enough dang worries on your plate already! Those managers are truely boneheads.

em

double boneheads! xoxox pat

(further thoughts... unfortunately the backlog of complaints through an ADA violation/office makes it unlikely that anything will be done to them. I had a clear violation against me years ago, and even with repeated contact with the local office, they NEVER got to the complaint.) But ya gotta try!!!!

Silver, Sky, Emily and Faver, thank you for your kindness. It is amazing what words of love can do. Em, I looked up your site and I guess I would like you to p.m. me to to tell me more of what you are thinking. I want to understand and be sure I am giving you the correct info. I am hurting in my heart in a way that reaches the PTSD big time and I am trying to react from a now place. Just because someone is angry with me I am not bad. However, I am in danger so that confuses me. Man, I feel like the past 20 years of my life have been like the first 20, reaking havvock on me. I had a few years as a reprieve huh? I need direct guidance. Okay to be bossy to me right now. I am lost and confused. I am angry and scared. I am alive.

YW. Well, to be direct ; ) what you just posted exhibited signs of OVER GENERALIZATION... a cognitive distortion... that because it happened before it will always be that way. It's a thin line, maybe, to walk... to have a positive attitude and outlook that things will work out, without having TOO large an idea of what you want. Redefining what will be "ok" and allow you to classify it as "working out" is important. We all know we don't get exactly what and all we want.

Try to look at the situation objectively. (I know, it isn't easy.)

What is the best you can do? What is the most you can expect, honestly, from yourself in this?

What will you be able to accept as enough from them? What would be ideal and what can you live with? You might need to draw a line in the sand, but often it isn't where we really want it!

Any help?

Sky, I think I get a little of what you are saying but I am severely brain dead so articulate for me please? I appreciate it. Are you saying that because crap has happened in the past that I always expect crap? Well, that would be an accurate assessment.

Sky -- I think you've done a very effective job here of providing reasoned suggestions and comfort for WW.

WW, I responded on the SI list, and I'm pretty much all wrote out. Having some coping difficulties myself. Understand what you and Sky mean about "never a good time."

TC and hugs. (((((((((((((((((WW)))))))))))))))))

WW, as you know, i've been trying to move ahead for over a year now and i do have that "crap has happened before" and it will happen again attitude...WE HAVE TO CHANGE THAT FEELING...WE MUST....WE'RE TWO WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND WE DESERVE WONDERFUL ENDINGS..... LOVE, PAT

I am interested in knowing what types of psychiatric accommodations to request from my school. I plan on meeting with disability advisor next week. My worst symptoms are depression, distractibilty, and dissociating. It's embarrassing for me have to request help to meet or change the minimum requirements expected.

Do you have a T? It might be interesting to ask him/her about it. I would say that if you dissociate and are easily distracted that you might ask that testing occur outside of the class in a 1-1 setting. The academic support center should help. Also, depression, it would be great to have someone who acts as a coach and helps you schedule tasks in managable bites so you don't get overwhelmed and you have a plan to not procrastinate. Speak with your school and see. The pain in the butt is that I believe they all want documentation and that might feel weird to share your personal medical files.

Jen, contact the school counselor, she/he will be able to inform you and help you make the request.

WW yes. That's exactly what I mean...and what the cognitive distortion is about. And to get even deeper... what we think will happen usually does! It's part of quantum physics.. BUT the good part is: it works FOR US too!

So begin thinking something positive about this.... something.. don't go for the biggie (yet) as you might disappoint yourself and then feel you can "never"..... at the very least, try thinking that this time COULD be different and turn out not bad...

Something good CAN come out of this... it CAN.... and I hope it does for you...

Cool

I just have to say that it sucks all the things your having to go through. We cant control the world around us. When I was working and had conflicts of any kind I always got the brush off. Being honest with employers is going to get you no where. Don't let them in your world cause they throw it back at you later. Jobs are tuff and bosses blow butt holes. Be strong girl and hold your head up. Good luck! Really I mean it. Don't let them get to you OK.

I am so tempted to just do this evaluation thing with a poker face and with a quiet typed response. You are right, the risk is high. That said, I am also considering showing them, not telling them where it is at for me. And then they will see me as unfit. S h i t I am more fit and able to connect more effectively than many others I work with. I don't know what will happen. i just know that being human and sharing feelings with those who have power over you is very scarey.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. I can only imagine how scary it is for you. Please do whatever you need to do to stay safe. I will be there with you in spirit giving you moral support.

((((((((((((((((( wisewoman ))))))))))))