Don't understand people who can't get out of bed.

You know I don't mean any offense but I want to make this point. I have suffered with depression all my life. Please help me understand. When people say they can't get out of bed, what do you mean?

I have responsibilities, I HAVE to get out of bed. I haven't had a lie in bed for years. I'd love to do that, I really would! But I have to get up.

Also I work with people with physical disabilities and I tell you what - They truly can't get out of bed!!

So.... get off your ***, get out of bed, now!

I know when I've had these really down instances, even though I was physically capable of getting out of bed, staying there curled up by myself felt the most comforting thing to me at the moment. After a while I got up but for a bit I didn't feel like leaving the confines of my bed. This was more so with me in that I wasn't unable to get out of bed, just unwilling for that time. Sometimes was during college when I didn't really have to and other times after I started working, I was able to go in late or use sick leave so I was fortunate.

I understand your point of view.

I'm just glad that I possess the strength of will that allows me to push myself when I need to. It's one of the very few things that I can take any pride in.

Sometimes you just don't have the energy to move.

((pegs))))) When my Dad first got depressed. That was one of the signs. He could not get of the couch. He was so sad , so tired , he just was to tired to get up.
He held a job had kids. had a wife.
When it hit him and it hit him hard. He was really down. I think he needed the rest then. Depression is different in every person.
The good news is with help and love from his family and His very strong will he did improve.After a stay at the hospital. Which he needed.
It did take time thou. At that point i think he wished he could get up out of bed.
He never gave up hope at that point in his life.

on my first time l went into hospital with a diagnosis of puerpural psychosis l went to bed and apparently l stayed there for six weeks do l remember it NO l dont do l want to even think about it NO. The drs described it to my family as a switch that had been flipped in my mind....... eyes were open but there was nothing in them or behind them, there was no emotion, no fear, no pain, no nothing.......drip fed fluids just to keep me alive................l did not eat , drink, move, pee on my own apparently it is maybe good that l just dont remember so can depression keep you in bed ...............it did for me, what got me out of bed four courses of ECT back to back......................24 shocks to my brain!!!!! to shock me out of my mind.

((((((((((silentandscared))))))))))))))))))))))) big hug to you

There are times when a miss match of medications (especially when more than one doctor is involved) and for your own personal safety bed is the best place to stay. Of course contacting a doctor is necessary to correct the problem.

When I was in the deepest darkest places of my depression my bed offered a safe haven. A place to hide from the world. The only time out of bed was to take care of physical needs.

As a frog of little brain I can't say that either of the reasons provides the information you were looking for. I can't say that either of them is correct only that at times staying in bed as opposed to getting up works best for the patient.

kebs

Of course, like all things offensive - I dont mean to be offensive but...

What on earth makes it acceptable for someone to tell folk (who may have suffered whatever horrible things they have) to get there *****'s up out of bed? Thats like me telling someone who is schizophrenic to stop seeing things/hearing things and get over it.

Guess what? We all have responsibility's. Does depression care? Not a bit.

When your depression is so bad where you do not give a crap because you cant think - I dont think your going to jump out of bed because someone tells you to get your ***** up. Its not very empowering and not very thoughtful neither.

Different people deal with things different ways, have been through different things, and wont recover at the same speed. You dont know if someone has been raped, stabbed on the street, hit by a car, been beat up or what a person who wont get out of bed because of depression has gone through.

When someone wont get out of bed because of depression - there not at home. There not there mentally. Try again once the trauma has passed slightly.

Oh Peg...I understand this so well...I have a full time job and have no choice but to get up at 5:30 every morning and have a talk with myself about my responsibilities and the things I HAVE to do (also that I am blessed to have a job)....but...when I am down in the pit...I just think about Saturday when I can snuggle into my covers and feel safe from the world and not have to be aware of all the paralyzing emotions that greet me in the morning.

This is not going to be an uplifting thread... I sense.
The thing is the ones sitting or lying in the boat of depression... with no oars... totally drained and have been fighting a long time to just stay afloat... they are bound to react to the original post in this thread.

We are all different... we all struggle in different ways...

Respect and empathy should IMHO be the things to show... since no one has ever 'walked in any other shoes than their own'.

Depression can hit hard not only to the mind but also to the body. Well... the 'soma somatic' term is a known fact. If the brain is suffering being overloaded... it can manifest itself in a total shutdown of the body.

Peg, your statement is no different than telling someone that's depressed to get over it already, you have everything in the world going for you, you have nothing to be depressed about. Or telling someone that suffers from anxiety that there's nothing to be anxious about. We'd much rather not be confined, it's no more of a choice than deciding how tall you want to be.

When you are that depressed, there is no reason to get out of bed. Jobs don't matter, kids or other responsibilities don't matter. You have no hope, no future. I was willing myself to die, I was absolutely sure that my family would have been better off without me.

A kind reminder ((cause all of you matter so very much)))))))))
as ((daynnight)) said ((We are all different... we all struggle in different ways.))))
Depression hits everyone differently. Because we are all different. Each persons symptoms are going to be different

I care about all of you very much(((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you Muffy!!!

I forced myself out of bed for months, worrying that if I stopped I'd never start again, until I was getting through less and less of the week before I had to take refuge in bed, head under the covers, unable to function. I needed to stop entirely then, stayed in hospital for a month so that I had no responsibility for myself or anyone else. It would have been far better for me and my family if I had stayed in bed for a little while at the beginning rather than struggling on.

I COMPLETELY agree! couldn't have said it better myself.
and don't get me wrong, i get out of bed when i HAVE to. but only then. i barely eat, i sleep too much, i lull around. maybe lay on the couch and not move from there. you just feel like it's too much effort and there's no damn point-life will still be the same if u do or if u dont get out of bed. so take the easy way.
for everyone it is different. but it's not so easy to say "hey snap out of it" and POOF! you're good. When responsibilities call, i go. but i'm not really all there when doing those tasks or work or whatever. i put on a mask and smile through the tears i'm silently crying.

Thank you everyone for the input here.

Depression is something that we all have to work on and not give in to. I agree that my original post was a little harsh but you do need to motivate yourselves and make the effort. I wasn't talking about psychosis where hospital admission is needed to get someone functioning again. I'm talking about (depression) pushing that heavy wheel barrow that is full of the stuff we all carry around. We have to make the effort ourselves and push the load.

CBT and Motivational Interviewing are tried and tested therapeutic techniques to help people get functioning again. If 'Get your *** out of bed!' Helps you then all the better. If it does not then, don't use it!

My post was meant in a supportive way, don't give in to the depression! Find a reason to get up earlier, make the effort and you will start to gradually feel better.

I don't understand why you felt you had to share your critical attitude on a forum where people come looking for support?

Did you not read what I just wrote above?

the only thing is that I know I've definitely WANTED very badly to get up out of bed. Lately it hasn't been as much of a problem *this morning I messed up, but overall it's been better*.

It's hard to describe because I was ANGRY at myself, I was telling myself the same things. "Why the **** didn't you get out of bed this morning sea?" I would miss class and would sit shaking in bed uncontrollably. Sometimes I was so upset that I couldn't get up I would have panic attacks.

It really gets me down when people say "just get up, it's not that hard" or the like, I understand where its coming from. And right now, for me I can say that. I'm not as depressed as I was last year. But last year it was not possible. I think it truly depends on the level and symptoms of your depression. Some people never get some physical symptoms others get. I know it would PHYSICALLY HURT TO MOVE. My muscles ACHED, so it physically hurt when I woudl TRY to get up. And yes at some points I would think

**********possible ***************
why does it matter I don't even have to be here tomorrow

***********end trigger*********************

I know you're trying to be supportive but please realize that for some people it's just not possible. They need further therapy, medications, etc BEFORE they can get to the point where willpower will make waking up possible.



Hugs to everyone on this board, those who CAN and those who CAN'T wake up in the morning. *passes coffee around*

You took the words right out of my mouth, JudeeB...I agree completely.
Peg, if you don't understand the problem, why criticize?

It means you are so depressed that you don't want to do anything, don't want to see anyone, don't want to go anywhere- just want to sleep 24/7 and hope to not ever wake up again- because you don't see anything worth going on for.

I've read a few of ur posts Pegasus and so I know that u didn't mean for ur post to offend but it clearly has struck a nerve with many. Maybe cos "get ur *** out of bed" is what many of us berate ourselves with when we struggle to get up. Atm my new meds are making me so sleepy that I don't even wake up until early afternoon. Cognitively I know its not good to sleep the day away, but I also relish the fact that there's less day to endure...

On a good day I can motivate myself to get up by telling myself to move my @rse etc etc, but as I've explained to my ex-T who clearly didn't get it, if I am at the stage where I can debate in my head whether I get up or not, it's clearly a good day and I'm going to get up. Otherwise I physically cannot stay awake long enough to give myself a 'pep talk'. It frustrates me when ppl say "I was so depressed I stayed in bed for a wk...but then I thought enough is enough and dragged myself out of bed" etc. These ppl don't have clinical depression and have no idea that sheer force of will is not enough to beat this beast. Believe me, if it was I wudnt be in this mess!!

*Willow*

Nicely put Willow! That's exactly it, if I'm at the point whether I can debate whether or not I can get up, then I am having a "good" day and I get out of bed. On those occassions that I've been confined to bed, a simple thing like going to the bathroom is a HUGE production, forget about showering.