[Berries]

My chest is tight and my throat is closing up. I feel like everyone is angry at me. They are angry because I am still depressed. I’ve reached my limit and now everyone is going to abandon me. My PC friends, my irl friend, my T, my pdoc…
Should I just put on a happy face? Pretend everything is OK?

(berries)))))))))))))) your Dr will not abond you or your T
nor your friends. Call your Dr and let him know if you can
the first step to getting better is yours
sending caring thoughts

[nowheretorun]

(((Berries)))) look into yourself, find the truth of who you are, what you stand for.. the pain you feel is there for a reason... the key to your understanding of yourself is the key for many of us... when that part of you that feels the pain connects with that part of you wanting the suffering to end, you will see a clear vision towards health for yourself, and with your experience, many others will also find their way through...

pretending is not the answer and you are resisting anything phony... thats good.... tell us your truth, tell us where you want to be in life, make it real for you, as there is no substitute for truth..

see if you can stop hiding behind fear, loss, pain, resistance... look for the good things which are around you and they are.. true, they may co-exist with darkness now, but you have the power to give goodness more weight within yourself....

can you take your posts to your T? he/she is concerned and wants what is best for you... no one is angry that you seem to not be getting well... what we hope for you is health, that is why we are here...

[Rohag]

Good Day, dear Berries!

Originally Posted by Berries

My chest is tight and my throat is closing up.

Sure, these physical symptoms may be related to your depression and the way you're feeling right now. Nevertheless, by themselves they are distressful, worrying conditions. Please, as much as you can, monitor your physical condition and raise the alarm if necessary. "Nothing good happens when you stop breathing."

Originally Posted by Berries

I feel like everyone is angry at me. They are angry because I am still depressed.

I acknowledge the reality of your feeling. How did you come to the conclusion people are angry with you? What evidence do you have? What's triggering your perception others are angry with you and angry for that specific reason?

Originally Posted by Berries

I’ve reached my limit and now everyone is going to abandon me.

Your T and pdoc have financial and professional incentives not to abandon you. I personally have a hard time imagining your PC and flesh-and-blood friend(s) abandoning you -- you're Berries! THE Berries!

Originally Posted by Berries

My chest is tight and my throat is closing up. I feel like everyone is angry at me. They are angry because I am still depressed. I’ve reached my limit and now everyone is going to abandon me. My PC friends, my irl friend, my T, my pdoc…
Should I just put on a happy face? Pretend everything is OK?

I feel this way a lot too, Berries!

And, yeah, at times I just pretend that everything is OK. Sometimes that seems to be the only sane option! There's a lot of people here for you . . .

Mike

[idontknow13]

((((((Berries))))))
I am sorry you feel so bad
When I was at the worse of my depression I believe my daughter was very angry with me, she just did not understand and she was scared and she just did not know what to do, now that I am better she is very supportive....Often people get angry out of fear...
Your PC friends will not abandon you, you are very much cared for here, you are a very kind and sweet person and I am sure your IRL friends will be there for you if they can..As far as putting on a happy face, I never could but some people do say: Fake it until you believe it....
My thoughts are with you

[stefano]

PC friends will never give you up. We're all defective and very tolerant
No, no happy face I think. Maybe a not-so-unhappy face would help others not to feel too frustrated feeling unable to help you.
T and pdoc will never give up too. They know how this damn thing works and are not angry.
So sit, breath deeply and then kick this painful illusions away (not while you're still sitting of course! )

(the word "defective" above is meant ironically and jokingly, for everybody)

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((( Berries ))))))))))))))))))))))

Please be kind with your self, depression tells us lies, I don't think anybody will abandon you hun.
As for putting on a happy face, don't do anything that feels fake to you, these are emotions that you are feeling and emotions are not good to stuff inside, maybe you should express them.

[lonegael]

No happy face needed for me, thanks, Berries. It sounds like the blackbird of anxiety has pooped on your shoulder and your brain is trying to find out what to do with all the worry. I can hear it now "I know, I can use tht worry up about everybody being mad at me. Why???? Aw, who cares, it'll give me a reason to feel this way!"
I know this is NOT how you want to fell. It's probably just you brain trying to make sense of your body's signals. You have been fighting so hard, ((((Berries)))). How could any one be mad at you for that?

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((( Berries )))))))))))))))))))

[googley]

((((((Berries)))))
We here at PC will not abandon you!

I know what you mean about just putting on a happy face. It makes others feel more comfortable around us. I did this for years before I realized what I was doing, and still do it while out in public. (maybe not the best decision but it has become my normal). I would say that if you can't show your real face, then are they really your friends? I know this may sound harsh as it may feel that there is no one you can show your real feelings to. I have definitely gone through times like that. But my real friends and my Pdoc and T and people here at PC know the truth. You have all of those people to support you also. We want to see your real face, not a mask. We are here to support you no matter what.

you have many responses to this so mine shall be simpley

no way man

all masks have left the building

[Berries]

Thank you ((((((((((everyone))))))))))) for your reassurance. It helped a great deal. You are all so awesome. I am so lucky to have found you.
Wishing you all ease from your suffering.

[Yoda]

(((((((((((((( Berries )))))))))))))))

[Amazonmom]

I'm not angry, and I am not tired of you.