Feeling forgotten and unimportant!!

Struggling this morning. Had a restless night of sleep.

I left my journal and some writings I did that my T asked me to leave in her mailbox and when I called to be sure she got them she said she forgot to check her box before she left the office.
I know we all have a zillion things going on...but I am having some difficult times right now and I just feel like once again being forgotten is like saying my existence is no longer needed because no one remembers me anyway.
So, I just wanted to vent here because I feel once again like that little kid trying to get her mom to pay some type of attention to her and she is willing to do anything for like 5 minutes of unconditional love but mom is too busy with everything else to remember me...

Opps, began to ramble I think. Let me stop here before this goes further then it should.

that would make us lose it if we were not feeling well. right now isn't a time where you want to be understanding of others and those zillion things. right now is a time to focus on saving yourself.......which you are doing!!

what a great connection to make! sorry it comes from such pain but to read this and see that you realise that how you are feeling now is reminiscent of when you were younger vying for your mother's attention just shows how much more understanding you have of the pain inside.

when we can understand the pain better we gain the ability to see its weak spots and are more prepared to battle it.

you've done a great job in venting here AND stopping yourself before you allowed thoughts to run down that negative path.

progress! it might feel like molasses but it is happening with each passing hour. we maintain hope for you. keep things an hour to a time if that is all you can handle right now. you need to keep it simple for the time being as you continue sorting.

I know it's not true!

That you are not forgotten and unimportant.

Deep breath...

{{{{{{{{{{{sj0401}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You are in our thoughts (therefore not forgotten) and very important to us.

By keeping it simple we meant to do what someone else suggested in your trying thread of taking some time to just rest as this work is exhausting.

The ups and downs can take more outta ya than a fifteen round fight!

lots of people in your corner with the towel and bucket to help keep you in that ring as a contender.

(((((((((((((sj))))))))))))))))

that would hurt. i'm sorry that happened. i've felt as you're feeling.

also, i would like to apologize to you. i feel that i've let you down. i'm just coming out of a really, really hard and dark time and feel i've left alot of people not knowing how much they mean to me...you are one of them. you are cared for.

be safe,

kd

((((((((((sj))))))))))
that hurts! i can relate to both feeling forgotton by T and doing the "anything for attention". great that you made that connection.
youre not forgotton here, that's for sure.
w_i

It is crazy to have more support from people you never met face to face and feel abandoned by people who know you and say they care about you and love you.

I am bouncing around today from being okay, to being mad to being hurt.
It is a forceful cycle and my head is throbbing!
The one thing making it feel a little better is all you guys being here and offering support and encouragement.
Thanks to you all!!

we said earlier today that we'd try to check in as we were able.

consider this a check

thinking of you as you ride out the bouncing feelings in that forceful cycle.

sending you a cool compress for that throbbing head.

__zh

thanks for checking in....

thank you for keeping with us and trying.

we continue to send peaceful and calming thoughts your way sj.

((sj)) minute by minute you are getting through this most unpleasant time. we're very proud of how hard you are working at this.

we'll try one more check in tonight before bed if we don't fall asleep before returning to the computer.

you'll be in our prayers tonight and beyond.

there is nothing crazy about the kindness of strangers. it is the very reason to hang on. you never know which stranger will become your next friend.

((((((((((((Susan))))))))))

You are certainly not forgotten HERE nor unimportant! I have seen major changes in you since I joined this site, and I think lately you have been working really hard, and during a time like that , we can become very very washed out. You have alot of support here Sj, keep us posted !

still making it thru...thanks again.

susan, i will never forget you and i will certainly always be here for you. you've come light years and we've shared a lot of that and it's helped me, in my path, tremendously. i'm so glad that you are here. love, pat

keep on breathing.

(((((((((((((((((Susan)))))))))))))))))

Bearhugs!
Fuzzy

You are definitly not forgotten and you are definitly needed. It would not be the same on the forums if you were not here. Please remember that everyone is here for you

bedtime check in on this end.....yer probably already in bed....we hope anyway.

will be looking for you when morning is here.

continue taking care and reread these posts when you need reminding that you are not forgotten or unimportant. these folks wouldn't have posted just cuz. seems like you've made a favourable impression on quite a few people and they're here to remind you they care.

we know what you're facing is no picnic. strength to you.

Morning...just got up. Have to put my "I am okay" face on this morning and go into work for a few hours.
However....I am blown away by the replies. I have made an impact on other people for the good? Wow...that makes me smile a little.
I will be honest...the weekend and up till Tues. the 23rd are going to be rough for me. I may very well be in and out of feeling good and feeling very, very dark and low.
I don't know if I should keep posting or if I have said enough.
A good friend of my, Paul, killed himself on Aug 23, 1986. We were 17 years old. And, the pain I feel I know he felt.
And, in a way, I get mad that he got to leave and didn't have to live with his pain and didn't try to deal with it despite how deep his wounds.
That is why I set my "time line". And that is why I picked Aug 23.
Again, let me state...my T is very well aware of all of this.
And we are working together on it all.
So...it is going to be a very emotional few days for me.
And, I don't want to lose my support here by being a burden.

Okay...enough now.
Thanks again to all my repliers...what you are writing to me is making a difference one way or the other...and all for the good!

you are not forgotten..

I had a very restless night of sleep last night.. too..

I hope your day goes well today.

Peace be with you today..
My freind.

I suck!!!
I am too much of a burden!!!

YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN ok now I am done..

I love you and care for you.. sweetie..
plese do not think that.. ok..

What do you mean you are done??? ((ladydragus))
What are you saying?

i was done yelling at you.. caps was on..

sorry I am never done with a freind pelse do not take it that way..

I have to run to the store ok..

I will be back in a bit ok..

Need some food for my tummie ok.

love to you

I take things a little personally when my perception is off and when you wrote "i am done" I took that as if you were done with me and that you were yelling at me.
I appreciate you explaining and the pm.
I wish I could wave a magic wind and take all our pains, insecurities, hurt, anger, sadness, confusion etc away.
There are several people right now on this site that I know are going through the same Hell I am going through.
Our spirits are weak and our mind is weary and our soul is partially dead.
When will relief come for us?
Do you think it will come?
I don't know if I can hold on.
And, right now, I am debating on whether to keep my appt on Tues. with my T.
ARGGGG...the struggles of my mind.