School is starting soon...

Just the thought of school makes me shiver. Most people have a reason to go to school. It's not the schoolwork or PE or anything like that, it's because they have friends to look forward to. School is starting tommorrow and I'm just about to go insane. I start thinking thoughts about getting a gun and shooting the people who hurt me in any way and saving the last bullet for myself. I thought about going to therapy but its $200 an hour and thats something i will never be able to afford. I often think, what's the point of going to school? I don't even get past 2.0 GPA. It's not going to help me get into college. I don't even have friends to look forward to. Why live? I do nothing to help the world, I just stay home and play games all day. I seriously want to go insane and just die, I really mean it. It won't matter to anyone, no one would care, there's absolutly no reason for me to live. So, kill myself? Obviously you guys are gonno say "Don't kill yourself," but there's really nothing for me to live for. I can't go to school. I'd rather get home schooled and never leave my house ever. I told my mom about it, she said to just ignore what people say about you and overcome it. Did it help? Obviously not, my future is seemingly hopeless and I'm not just saying it because depressed people think like that and I read it on the site. I feel like later in my life, I will go broke and go homeless. So, I don't know how to end this so i'll just end it here.

(((Jeff))) I am sad that you feel so desparate. Sad because I understand the feeling and would never want another to feel so low. BUT...if you are really that close to the edge and are not safe you MUST seek help. Go to your local crisis center, ER, or your school counselor and tell him/her how hurt and lonely and bad you are feeling.
I understand what it is like to want to die. I have been going through a very hard time myself. But, I have stayed safe. And when I could not I knew to call my T or if she didn't answer the phone I knew I would need to drive my self to my local crisis center.

I know you are only seeing what is in front you...the school year. But please please please know that your future is ahead of you and you will and can go and be and do anything you want.

I don't know if this is helping. All I know is I understand your pain and your anger and I hope you will seek help before your impulses take over.

(((((((((((((Jeff))))))))))))

I am sorry your feeling so down. I am also sorry your mother dismissed your feelings also. As a mother, I have to say I have been guilty of this from one time or another. Maybe if you could try again with your mother. Sit her down and really open up to her like you have us. Dont hold anything back. You need to be safe Jeff. I am sure your mother loves you very much and she will do whatever she has to do to help you. Please keep us posted, OK?


HUGS,

Jen

Jeff, I posted to you and I guess the post gremlin ate it. I want you to print your post out and show it to your mother. It really alarms me that you're thinking about harming yourself and others. I want you to be safe. xoxox pat

You deffinitly do something to help the world. You being you is helping someone somewhere. I understand that therapy is expensive but if your school has a psychologist on staff you could probably talk to them for free. The future is a mysterious thing but personally I think that is what makes it exciting, worth seeing. If you like to play games maybe you could join/start some kind of club at your school. You would be able to do something that you like to do and meet new people as well. If you ever need to talk Im sure everyone here is more than happy to listen
Best wishes
-Jason

I know how hard school can be. I was tortured at school and i had all those thoughts too. And i know what it feels like wanting to end every thing and do the world a favor. Well like u said that im gonna say DONT KILL YOURSELF. You have friends on this site including me. But let me let u in on a little advice. Once highschool is over everything will look up and all the people who made fun of ya are gonna go to jail or die because there day is now but for you, your day is comming. Hang in there. And if ya can see a doctor and tell him/her about how your feeling. He/she might be able to help.

Hang in there.