[(JD)]

Will I get into trouble for posting this?
[b]Is it wrong to care?
Am I really incorrect for asking for clarification of a problem?
Why do I feel like I'm not a problem? Should I feel that I am, that I am wrong, always wrong? Especially... when so many ppl say they understand me and my problems and yet... though they tell me otherwise, if I don't act like I'm always wrong, then am I wrong in that also?
Is there no right answer, for anything?
I am in such turmoil.
Supposed to be on bedrest? Too much pain. Too much sadness. Too much stress ... from caring.... and other garbage.
If I didn't care, I wouldn't care.. it wouldn't matter. nothing would matter maybe nothing really does matter.. maybe others think it does and it really doesn't?
Nothing I say or think is correct... even this? said the cretan.
I'm not allowed to hurt. That would denote selfishness?
This stuff is what makes me crazy.
and..A big issue and I can't work through it here... because it involves "here"
how is that sane?
what would I know about normal?
the darkness pursues me... maybe this time... I will fully succumb.

[Fuzzybear]

My experience, totally unrelated. but been there done that and still bleeding

Is it wrong to care? YES

Am I really incorrect for asking for clarification of a problem? YES

Is it wrong to be honest? YES

Is it wrong to exist? YES

I'm not allowed to hurt. That would denote selfishness? YES

F***** it all

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((sky)))))))))))))))))))

i'm so sorry for your pain.

kd

People can make you feel that way.
People will make you feel like you're nothing.

But why should we beat ourselves up about it? People who
can't accept honesty are in a world of denial, those are
people who want you to care but on their terms.
I see it as for every 10 people you'll meet like that, there's one who's more like you, who's honest and cares the way you do.
Why deprive those few of your reciprication because of the other 10?
They need the caring all the moreso because they're the ones who are looking for truth to better themselves and are finding it that much harder to come by.
I hope I didn't misunderstand what you've written.
For you to be in so much pain but still care enough to care shows character and strength.
You're not a problem, you're not wrong and you ARE allowed to hurt.
But with that hurt people will care on their terms.
Generic understandings can pull you through sometimes but once in awhile I think people need a good kick in the butt with truth.
Someone has a signiture on here, it reads: "What is to give light must endure burning". I LOVE that statement.

If what I've written makes sense to you and you feel that it applies to what you've posted then yes, I honestly do understand.
Sky and Fuzz, you know, people will cry and gripe to you for hours on end but God forbid you bleed a little they will call you selfish. Those people aren't your friends and need to be treated as such.
There are people who DO care about what you're going through, who will listen and who will make thoughtful commentaries back to you. Amongst the weeds there are lillies, roses and such. Focus on those few lillies and roses if you can.
I don't want either one of you to feel alone like I feel alone sometimes. It's a sad place to be.
Sky, don't succumb to anything. Fight like hell. You're worth that much. Don't do to yourself what those "10 people" do to you. You have to be your own source of understanding, caring and love, first.

[Rapunzel]

Sky,

I think I've tried to tell you in the past that you can talk about your feelings here, as long as you watch the way you say it so that you aren't hurting someone else in the process. We all have feelings and need to remember that even when we are hurting ourselves.

But when you're upset about someone or something here, then it's much harder to talk about what is going on. Cryptic posts just make people worry (I've been trying that), and the support you get is unsatisfying. What are you supposed to do? Join another support site to get support when your support site lets you down? That's just like needing therapy to get over the traumatic experience you had in therapy, which has happened to way too many of us too.

There will be some friends who stick by you and keep caring about you. Try to tune in to them and tune out the others. You can PM me any time you like.

Otherwise, I can really see your point lately, and it bothers me too.

[wi_fighter]

Sky, PM me if you ever need an ear. I don't know how much help I can be, but I'm here if you need me.

(((((((((sky)))))))))

[curley]

Sky, so sorry you feel this way. Sometimes I think it would be great not to care. But I am not made that way either. As far as being wrong, if you have feelings, they are not wrong. You can not help how you feel Dont ever believe that caring is wrong. But sometimes we need to consider if who or what we care about is really worth our energy

[(JD)]

((((fuzzy)))) sorry you can relate so well! Thank you for sharing... and understanding.

[(JD)]

tks kd.. hmm never know what to call you! Got to pick up my marbles and go home maybe. Tks

[(JD)]

Thanks Jax. I respect very much what you say, as I know you are new with "fresh" thoughts for us all. Thanks.

[(JD)]

Rap I know what you say.. but since anything that involves relationships on the site can be so easily misconstrued, any time I try to share MY feelings.. well the threads are locked or pulled... mainly because ppl don't really know me, nor understand me, and read their own truth into what I write... often two very different things. I haven't "gone" to "all my friends" here with what is happened, nor will I.. and thus I can find at least a little honestly from those who haven't been slanted, in their posts here to my sadness and emotional pain. Maybe ya'll are only feeling sorry for me, for my physical pain flare of late... which is subsiding finally...

[(JD)]

TKs W I... I haven't PM'd about this... don't plan on it, but thank you for your support for me in my sadness.

[(JD)]

Tks curley. Yep, absolutely right on 2 counts. It would be great not to care. I do need to reconsider how much I really care about this site, members and my time here. TC of yourself!

[blackdragon]

((((((((((((((((((((sky))))))))))))))))))))))

Oh,oh. I hope I wasn't too "fresh". I think I misunderstood your post. Sorry. I think I better just shaddup! ((((((((((Sky)))))))))

[wisewoman]

I hesitate to reply here. I really don't know what has been going on and I really don't need to. What I can say is that it is okay to share our feelings openly, especially when we use I statements to do so. It is important to own our feelings and share them openly and try to really listen to what others are saying. I don't feel it is ever appropriate to make snide jabs at eachother that leave me scratching my head saying "huh?" It's about support. That is what we need to remember.

[(JD)]

(((((ww)))) tks.

[(JD)]

heheeh no way! I really did appreciate your post too! TC

[wisewoman]

your welcome

I think to care for others is one of the great thing in this world. Of course you don't always receive caring from others in return and even sometime your words can't be not really what the person wants to hear. But YOU know what you meant and it was because you care for this person that you have chosen to reply. And another thing, at the time you have giving your caring away to the other person you have experienced a wonderful sastifaction inside, a good feeling. So I think, personally, I will keep on caring for others.

I care for you Sky and Fuzzy.

time0

I hate to be the voice of dissent hear but here is my two cents worth:
I disagree, if somebody receives unwanted feedback from a member after being asked to back off, call it clash of personalities if you may, then that person should just back off and leave well alone, not continue to enflame the issue, or issues.
to continue to do so after being asked to stop is not caring, because in no way can it be construed in any other way than harassment, how is that caring? when it causes more anguish than relief?.

it will only lead to less people posting, and ultimately leaving the site as they feel they cant share what is going on with them without the perceived fear of attack by that person. Be it in the forums or on PM, I know you can put the person on ignore on PM maybe the same system should be in place in the forums as well.

My apologies!

"Things are not always what they seem to be"

Sorry! I will be more careful next time before saying something when I can only see the surface.

time0

[nothemama8]

Sky is it a Snert Alert?
Angie

[(JD)]

I'm sorry that you felt you needed to. That is exactly the type of post I don't need here. I haven't shared what has gone on... obviously someone has with you and it is not a full view. Please consider that while feelings may be true, the information might not be. My efforts to reach out to someone who is hurting caused me to be very vunerable and hurt, also. How does that give you truth as to what I have or haven't done?

I do have a right to be hurt. And I do have a right for support too. I would like to read it here, as it the custom of the site.
Sorry, I don't have words to speak softly right now. I actually forgot to be wary of non supportive posts in this thread.

I've done nothing with malice.

[(JD)]

Hey Angie et al! Good to see you posting!