[whenwillitend]

Every day is a nightmare. I'm living a nightmare. My son, as much as I love him, makes my life a living hell. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm dreading tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. and so on.

For the first time in a long time, tonight I was thinking about just checking out. I have no strength left. And it keeps getting worse every day. I can't handle my life anymore. I am so incredibly overwhelmed. It's all too much.

I need a break from all this. I would love to check myself in, but I can't, I don't have anyone to watch the kids anymore. My pdoc said she'll call DHS if that happened. And she said things would get very ugly then.

Please make it stop!

[alias123]

I wish I had an easy answer for you, but I don't. I do wonder, though, if there were something like a depression support group that might have resources or if your T can, instead of helping you discover ways things would be horrible for you, could help you think or resources and solutions for your problem. Or maybe you can do outpatient therapy for the full day and then come home with your kids. It would be like work hours but treatment instead and you'd be on leave from work. Maybe there are resources for your kid, too. I bet he is acting out for some reason that he might need to address. Then you could both be a bit happier.All easier said than done, but I hope you do find some relief.

[lxegirl]

do you think you could get someone to watch the kids while you just take a personal day? it would be good to go to a spa or a mini vacation for a day or two.

[whenwillitend]

Thank you both. I don't work, I stay at home with the kids. And every day when my 8 year old gets home from school, all hell breaks loose.

He's already seeing the school psychologist and a "regular" psychologist, and it's not helping. He has an appt with a psychiatrist next tuesday, and as horrible as it sounds, I hope they put him on medication, so we can all be happier again. I want my sweet baby back.

I do have a babysitter who watches them when I have appts, but I feel guilty just taking time off for myself. It's something I just can't do. My t says I need to work on that.

Right now, I would love to just go to a hotel for a night. Just get away. But my babysitter doesn't do overnights.

[lxegirl]

do you maybe have a family member or close friend that can just watch the kids when they're sleeping?

[littlebitlost]

I would look into taking some time for you. And don't feel guilty. Being a stay at home mum is one of the hardest jobs ever. Being on call 24/7 takes it's toll on you. I agree with take a personal day. Why should only job job workers get personal days? Mums don't get sick leave and usually while sick have to care for a sick family, AND do all the house things as well.

Checking out is not an option you want for your kids, from how you speak about them. Even if they are the only reason, and it's that way for me, they are worth it.

Old line, but have you tried explaining and begging for family/friend support?

Hope you're ok.

Hiya,

I would say (if it were me) screw my pdoc and get another one. how dare anybody threaten you with DHS when you're just doing your best to get care. i could maybe understand it if you were refusing to care for yourself but when you trying your damndest to get help then who the heck has the right to say you don't deserve to have your kids. GRRR Now I'm MAD!

it seems like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place and I'm sorry for that. Tell us more about your son. What started the behavior? is there anything that changed that would trigger him? is it add or something like that which could be easily medicated?

Just curious.

Love and hugs,
Tara

[whenwillitend]

Thank you all. I don't have any family here, and no close friends who would do this for me. I have one friend who might, but she works, so it's not an option. And she's pretty much the only friend I have left. I'm stuck here.

I know if worse came to worst probably one of my neighbors would step in. We're a small and close neighborhood. But none of them know about my depression, and I woudl like to keep it that way.

As for my son, I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with him, and I really hope the psychiatrist next week finds something that can be medicated, so we can all go back to being happy.

I'm just so exhausted.

[Ardmore]

What is your son doing thats causing you so much stress??

[whenwillitend]

Originally Posted by Ardmore

What is your son doing thats causing you so much stress??

I didn't want to double post, since I posted about all of it in Healthy Parenting. But to sum it up, he's like Jekyll and Hyde. If he doesn't get his way, he completely loses it. And I don't mean a normal kiddie tantrum. He has absolutely no control over himself, and he has a huge anger problem. He gets in trouble in school almost every day, for things like throwing tables or his shoes, or crawling under his desk and refusing to come out. He yells and screams, he slams doors and kicks tables, he trashes his room and shoves and kicks me. Then the next minute he's all fine, and totally shocked when he realizes that his actions do have consequences. He lies and steals. He argues, backtalks, is disrespectufl, doesn't listen. And all this is way beyond what's normal for an 8 year old. Taking him ANYwhere in public is soooo embarrassing because of his behavior.
The school psychologist doesn't know what to do with him anymore. The principal doesn't either. I'm scared he'll get kicked out of elementary school.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son to pieces. Which is what makes it so frustrating. I want to help him, I want to see him happy again. But I don't know what to do anymore. I want my house to be filled with laughter, not yelling and screaming and slamming doors and tears. I want my kids to be able to say later on, yeah, I had a happy childhood.

[Ardmore]

Originally Posted by whenwillitend

I didn't want to double post, since I posted about all of it in Healthy Parenting. But to sum it up, he's like Jekyll and Hyde. If he doesn't get his way, he completely loses it. And I don't mean a normal kiddie tantrum. He has absolutely no control over himself, and he has a huge anger problem. He gets in trouble in school almost every day, for things like throwing tables or his shoes, or crawling under his desk and refusing to come out. He yells and screams, he slams doors and kicks tables, he trashes his room and shoves and kicks me. Then the next minute he's all fine, and totally shocked when he realizes that his actions do have consequences. He lies and steals. He argues, backtalks, is disrespectufl, doesn't listen. And all this is way beyond what's normal for an 8 year old. Taking him ANYwhere in public is soooo embarrassing because of his behavior.
The school psychologist doesn't know what to do with him anymore. The principal doesn't either. I'm scared he'll get kicked out of elementary school.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son to pieces. Which is what makes it so frustrating. I want to help him, I want to see him happy again. But I don't know what to do anymore. I want my house to be filled with laughter, not yelling and screaming and slamming doors and tears. I want my kids to be able to say later on, yeah, I had a happy childhood.

Hmmmm.....that is a difficult situation, I'm not sure what to say other than the best of luck with your son and you.

[online user]

So sorry things are going so badly for you right now. Hope the pdoc can help your son. You do need some relief. Do call a crisis line if things get really bad--they will have a soothing person who will listen to you and say calming things. Or come back here and let us know how things are going. Sending you hugs!

[whenwillitend]

He just came home from school, immediately wanted to get on the computer, I said no. He has to earn video/computer game time, and he did nothing to earn that this week. So he starts screaming, kicking the wall, throwing his shoes, slamming the hallway babygate, slamming his door, screaming some more in his room.

I'm tired.

[whenwillitend]

told him to clean up the mess in his room so i can vacuum in there. resulted in lots of screaming at the top of his lungs, more stomping, kicking, and then he shoved me again. i'm so dreading the weekend. had my husband on the phone when my son came home from school and threw the first fit. he said he's going to whupp his butt as soon as his plane touches down in june.

i want to run away. as far as i can.

[online user]

((((((((whenwillitend))))))))) So sorry you and your son are having a bad day. You are being a great mum--don't forget that. It's just taxing. Like having a colicky baby. Wish I could help you more.

[lxegirl]

i think your kid has responsibility and anger issues...how old is he?

[whenwillitend]

Originally Posted by lxegirl

i think your kid has responsibility and anger issues...how old is he?

He's 8. I totally agree. The anger issues are the main reason he's in therapy. But so far it's not working.

[whenwillitend]

Online User, totally OT, but I just LOVE your avatar! That's exactly what happens when I try to eat something while sitting on the couch/at the coffee table. Cats up, put cats down, cats jump back up, put cats down.........

[lxegirl]

hahha
yeahh....idk what to tell you....hang in there :*)