[SoupDragon]

I have just done a whole bunch of different depression screening tools and they all tell me what I know already - that I am pretty low right now. I feel so tired, yet don't even have the energy to get myself into bed right now. I have been seeing my T for about 14 months and am starting to think it is the sessions that are making me feel worse - is therapy always a good thing?

[dismantle.repair]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I have just done a whole bunch of different depression screening tools and they all tell me what I know already - that I am pretty low right now. I feel so tired, yet don't even have the energy to get myself into bed right now. I have been seeing my T for about 14 months and am starting to think it is the sessions that are making me feel worse - is therapy always a good thing?

Honestly, I think my sessions used to be REALLY taxing on me. I used to have to go home and sleep for a bit before I could resume any semblance of living normally...
Man, that sucked. But I saw small changes in the way I reacted to things, the way I thought about things. I never noticed because they were so subtle. But then I realised I felt a bit better abotu things. I don't know if it meant my circumstances changed, or if my counselor helped... but I attribute it to both.

[Direction]

What would be the alternative to going to therapy? Group structures can be very helpful especially when lead by a professional...although that may be considered therapy also.

Good thing in the long run...probably
Good thing in the short run...probably but may not feel that way.

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you Direction - yes it doesn't feel that way right now - I am so tired of it and the closer my session is, the more agitated or is it anxious, I am feeling. Part of me is wanting to e-mail my T to say I can't come, but I have been there before with this ambivalence - it drives me insane - I just don't think I can afford to go and come out feeling any worse than I do now - so I think just now in the short term it certainly doesn't feel helpful.

[madisgram]

just passing on what mt T told me, "jan, you own your therapy, not me."
his point was i was the director of my therapy. i was just going but not doing any real constructive work in therapy. when he said that it was a real wake-up call. then we got into some serious stuff and i wanted to run but i needed to face it, find coping tools/skills thru therapy, and change ME.
sometimes too tho we can just fall in the lap of an ineffectual therapist. there are excellent ones and not excellent ones as in any other profession. forunately for me i fell into the right lap!
keep us posted on what u deide to do. best wishes coming your way.

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you for that madisgram. Yes I think I do sit there really passively waiting for my T to cure me - but think this is generally one of my probelms in life, I have no idea what my needs are and therefore how to get them met. I just feel up against a brick wall in terms of my mood at the moment - really hard to concentrate and I am very tired - I am wondering whether therapy be effective with these symptoms going on.

[Hope-Full]

In the immediate sense of things - yes, I feel pretty sucky after my appointment with my T. But, that's because I spend the hour actually dealing with things I have avoided my whole life. I spend the hour with someone who (paid or not) is genuinely there for me, something that freaks me out because I'm not used to being the one receiving care. I have an entire hour where I matter to someone. Where my feelings are important, and don't have to be shoved into the locked door of my mind.

It scares the crap out of me that someone is there for me. And I feel so raw and emotional after my sessions.

But, it will all be worth it, when I learn how to take care of my own emotional needs, and am no longer living with a cloud of depression following me.

Between the meds that I'm on, my appointments with my T, and knowing that I have someone I can call if I am stuck (I can't email my T, but I can call her any time) makes the pain almost tolerable.

[turquoisesea]

my thoughts are similar to others. It's hard to tell with therapy. Sometimes it can be worse in the beginning especially if you are dredging up old memories and old problems that never got fixed... but once they are dealt with that's one less thing to work with and you can learn how to live in the world better.

I know therapy is the #1 best thing to make depression better. That being said there is not an always or a never - I know there are some people it doesn't do much for. I'd give it several months of honest effort, I'd also make sure your therapist is working for you.