[ironman36]

.......about two years ago, going on three. i met this girl in college. we had a good relationship (atleast i thought so..) we had our ups and downs. but i loved that girl! and i was faithful to her. honest! we were dating for a year. and then the summer came. we had to separate. i was in TX and she was in OH. we spoke over the summer on the cell phone every now and then. i told her that i missed her,i can't wait until school starts so i could see her and she told me likewise. well the summer was almost over, we had two weeks left in school. while i was packing up. she had called me. she said that she was packing up to and was ready to book-up. so as we were talking, she had mentioned a guy she had met over the summer. she stated that they were just friends and nothing more. i said that it was "cool, because i trust you." we hung up and my spidey senses were tingling. but i ignored it and said that im just actin' up. soo that time finally came. i was back on the school campus and there she was. but not the same. she didn't smile at me like she used to. she didn't hold my hand like she used to. she wasn't even acting like my girlfriend like she used too. my spidey senses tinkled so much, i almost had a seizure. i walked to my dorm depressed and kept saying mabey she's just tired or something.she'll return to herself tommorrow. the next day came, still the same. little hints of disinterest kept popping up like bubbles. she hardly had anything to say to me. (and she usually talks alot) the biggest hint came when one of my friends on campus saw us walking together and yelled out "it's good to see ya'll together!" and i hear her say in a small voice "...yea.(smiling sarcastically)...us." i asked her if she was ok. she abruptly snarled at me and said "im fine!" lookin' dumbfounded, i had nothing to say to her. all of a sudden, her "friend" finally showed up. now, remember when you was a little kid on christmas eve. after that turkey and all, you and your family decides drive around the neighborhood to go look at all the christmas lights. you remember how bright those lights are? well, i felt like that little kid when i looked at her face, just staring at him, waving frantically like she saw denzel washington or something. i was crushed, just for the simple fact that i wasn't the reason she smiled, her friend was. well, her sister was hanging with her "friend" and she made an excuse by saying that she needs to spend time with her sister. so i said in a shakey hurt tone. ok. then i was thinking, damn im losing her and that song from the temptations were playin' in my head. later that night. after she hung out with her "friend". i finally told her how i feel and what was i thinking. she said that there was nothing to worry about, we are just friends. the next day came and i saw them spending more time together. leaving me out the equation. later that night she gave me the legendary phrase used for centuries. "i think we should be friends." thats when i knew it was over. but why would she wanna just be friends with me. i was good to her, i never cheated on her. i wasn't the best boyfriend, but i gave her my heart. a week later she sold my heart to give her heart to her newboyfriend. apparently, her friend she met over that summer were more than friends. she didn't even apologize to me until the last week of school for the entire year. but they were and now still together. matter of fact, thier wedding is next week sometime. i think i got over it and it is not easy. sometimes im up and sometimes im down. no new girl wants to talk to me. (atleast for now) though it happed two years ago, i still hurts. i tried talkin' to my friends, it helped alittle, but im right back to depression. i tried praying. i'll feel good for the night. the next day it is the same. im tired of feeling this way................im all alone................and i don't think i can take this any more.......................

[Junerain]

I feel your pain, something similiar happened to me. You have every right to be hurt, you were honest to her and she wasn't honest with you. For me, I had to realize my strong feelings for Mark was a part of my addictive personality, that I was actually addicted to him. It must be hard knowing she is getting married. You may have thought one day you were going to marry her. You write very well, ever thought about keeping a journal to track how you are doing? You said talking to friends helps a little, a little is better than nothing!! They must be close friends if it helps, that's one thing you have on your side close friends. You also mentioned praying God loves that you talk to Him about it, you can pour your heart out to Him. Ever try a support group? Go to dbsalliance.org for one near you. Keep writing to us how you hold up, we care about you.

[ironman36]

thanx alot junerain. i hope someday someone (a woman of course) better will come along my path. i think i deserve it. because i know i sowed good seeds in the past. when this rain is over, the sun will come up, and comes abundant harvest. it's true , it's natural, it has to happen. no doubt in my mind and i prayed about it. i hope where ever you are J.R. that you will be happy for the rest of your life if you just have faith. faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. hold on to it because that is all have in this crazy world. B strong. Peace.

[hillbunnyb]

Ironman, Hey, betrayal is the worst... I'm so sorry you invested in someone who couldn't appreciate your gifts.
You sound like a swell guy. Someday somebody will notice.
Till then, this is a great time of year to hook up with community organizations to do volunteer work, like feeding hungry folks. Many times, giving is filling. Plus,it's a great place to meet good people and not feel so lonely. (Yer dream woman might be there slinging hash already......) I wish you well.