[spirit7]

I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and living with it close to 6 years now. I am also a born again Christian. I battle with taking so many anti-depressant drugs and my faith. I'm not sure if anyone out there can give me any advice. I keep going in circles; I feel like maybe I am not having enough faith in God; so I stop taking my medication. Then after a while,....it's back. The weight of the world on my shoulders. Questioning life, and why am I even here? What I'm trying to ask is..does anyone out there think taking anti-depressants a sin? It makes matters even worse when the scientology people say that psychology is bogus. I have very little friends, and I spend ALOT of time alone. This is really my last resort.

[Overcastbutclearing]

Spirit7....I am sorry to hear you are battling not only depression but undue stress from your religious aspect.
You have to treat your depression as if you had diabettes...and medication is needed to live on a daily basis.
Maybe if you looked at it under the medical circumstances of depression being caused in part by a chemical deficiency in your brain, you will be better able to appreciate that God created people to make a medication that would help ease the thoughts that go along w/ depression.

[kimmydawn]

SJ said so well exactly what I was going to say. Depression is an illness.

Looking down on self or another for an illness, or the meds that help them, isn't what my faith teaches at all.

Spirit, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I've been there. It might be your depression, and the anxiety from it, giving you this thought?

I want to tell you "Hi and Welcome to PC" as well. Many of us understand depression.

Be safe,

KD

[EJ711]

Hi Spirit,

Keep taking your meds. I'm a Christian, and I take mine every day. Some parts of life are just harder to get through than others. It's hard to make friends when you're not feeling good about yourself. I hope each new day finds you a little happier.

Jane

[DaveyJones]

Spirit7,

First, I have to agree with SJ and KimmyDawn--depression is and illness, and must be treated as such--take care of yourself, follow your doctor's orders, take your meds on schedule.

Second, I'm a former youth minister, and I still fight the battle that you are. please feel free to PM me, I would be happy to help if I can. God wants nothing except for us to be happy and whole

DJ

[JustBen]

Welcome to the forums, Spirit7. Your question made me think of a joke I once heard. There's a hurricane off the coast of Florida, and the land is flooding quickly. The water is so high that an elderly woman was forced to move up to her second floor. A boat came along, and the man behind the wheel said, "Jump in. We'll get you out of here." The elderly woman replies, "No thank you. God will save me." A few hours later the water rises even further and woman is forced onto her roof. A Coast Guard helicopter hovers overhead and a voice calls from a bullhorn, "We're going to lower a harnass and airlift you out of here." The woman once again replies, "No thank you. God will save me." A few more hours go by and the waters are higher than the roof itself. The woman drowns and ends up in heaven. She asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replies, "I sent you a boat and a helicopter. What else do you want from me?"

Usually when we pray, we ask God for a miracle. We want Him to reach down and pluck us off the roof. More often than not, though, He works through ordinary channels. Medications, doctors, and therapists are the boats and helicopters God is sending your way. They are the answers to your prayers. Don't turn them away.

[(JD)]

<font color="blue"> Welcome spirit7! What a great first post! I mean, so succinct... I, too, believe that God uses men (and medicines) to help us along our way... after all, I believe it was HE who created our minds and bodies to respond the way they do... medical depression is a chemical change in the brain that often needs medication to help it balance back.

Also, my psychologist is a Christian...and what a great thing that is! He's an expert in pain and stress management (and pain includes depression!) You just can't separate the mind and body like some ppl wish to.

TC

[nothemama8]

Spirit7 , I deal with my illnesses by looking at it as God is allowing me to teach others with dx how to survive
Angie

[Hopefull]

I have heard a sermon or two on the idea that one should solely depend on God. These sermons make me so mad because I remember times where my moods just don't seem to be changeable without seeking out help from a good counselor. I think that God can work through a good counselor and drugs. I hurt for the people that are hurt by these kinds of teachings. I just wish people better understood that sometimes a person can't just bounce back or as a speaker that I had to watch a video of at work says "choose to be happy." I found myself grousing to my co-workers that a person can't really choose their emotions. I didn't explain my reasons for feeling that way though.

[(JD)]

Come on back, spirit7 and let us know how you are doing tonight!

[Azalysa]

Hi spirit7 - nice to meet you!

This is a BIG "hot button" for me. I am also a Christian and was first diagnosed with a depressive illness when I was attending a large, charismatic-type church. My therapist at the time was a Christian and he was the one who suspected I had an illness rather than just issues that talk-therapy could help and he was the one who referred me to my pdoc, who I have been seeing ever since.

I got comments from people at church ranging from "Confess your healing" to "You must have sin in your life." These kind of comments are very damaging.

Two suggestions: I found a book during that time that literally seemed to "leap" off the bookstore shelf at me - I HIGHLY recommend it. I believe it is out of print now, but I just got a new copy on amazon.com in the used section: Holding God Hostage by Tom Watson, Jr. &amp; Stan Schmidt. Stan (who was bipolar) was saved during a Full-Gospel Men's Fellowship and these men told him to throw out his meds and trust in God. The book recounts what happened when he did that...then Stan documents similar situations when many in the church are just not educated on mental illness being just that...a physical illness!

Another good book is Depression: Finding Hope and Meaning in Life's Darkest Shadow by Don Baker and Emery Nester. This one is the true story of a pastor who was diagnosed with depression and hospitalized - and his journey.

I happened to turn the T.V. on the other day to catch the last part of a show that talked about how churches view mental illness. I called and ordered the DVD - their website is: Shadow Voices The program was sponsored by the National Council of Churches.

So, NO, I know mental illness is not due to sin. Remember the man who was born blind and the pharisees asked Jesus who sinned, him or his parents, to cause him to be blind. Jesus answered (paraphrased) it was not sin, but to show the glory of God.

Yes, please come back and talk to us...many of us have been there, if not in a church setting, with friends/relatives who say "Just get over it!"

(Can you tell I'm passionate about this subject? )

Just re-read your post...I've been on anti-depressants going on 15 years now...and I don't believe them to be a sin either. I do believe God *can* heal miraculously if He chooses, but that he also gave people the wisdom to make drugs for all kinds of illnesses as well as becoming doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, etc. Remember Luke of the Gospels was a physician.

Ok, rant off now - this one just gets me going! *grins*

[Estee1]

I am on medication at the moment. However i still feel guilty at times. I got the idea from people in the church that doctors and meds weren't needed and that we should stand in faith, etc. I believe God heals. There was a period of maybe 3 years where never took anything for pain. I can remember being really sick with infections and flu's and headaches but refusing to ever take anything to help. I used to really suffer because i thought that i was makng my faith bigger. I was very stubborn and I wanted to be strong in faith. Now I take antidepressants and even anxiety meds. had a few wise christians who helped me to understand that it's ok to take medication. people take medication for high blood pressure and stomach ulcers etc but when it's got to do with mental illness some people get all religious and say we have demons and that sort of junk. It annoys me. Church people really messed with my head for a while but now i can see things better. I still love god and go to church and believe it's just that I don't think things are always as simple as, 'say this prayer and you will be fixed.' It doesn't always happen like that.