I really am so depressed about my severe panic attacks

I wrote about this in another section and I have to write this here cause I am close to ending it all, please read:
..ever since I had a bad hair cut from my stylist who was good before I have had a panic attack non stop, they are severe too. They have been going on for 48 hours now and I have taken xanax and I can't seem to calm down, I am to the point that if this does not get better and since I am not married with no kids I am going to end it all.
I can't even eat right. Tonight was the biggest dinner that I had, mashed potatoes, other than that I just cant eat. I quite sugar cold turkey cause I am so afraid of these panic attacks and awful thoughts.
These panic attacks are making me super depressed and tomorrow I have deciided to go to the hair dresser and have her fix my hair right even thinking about that I am feeling so panicy cause I feel she will make it worse. I have had a phobia of getting my hair cut for so long, it is a grueling experience for me, I know I am weird.
I just want to know has anyone ever felt at the end of their rope cause of these panic attacks?.
OH and my pill doctor is really mean, I tried to call her and to ask her advice and and the secritary got my info (about my severe panic attacks) and then put me on hold for almost 10 minutes then put me through to some other doctor's voice mail right at 5pm (when office closed). I tried calling back and the office voice mail picked up.
I figure that if no one will care then why should I care about myself.
I hate these panic attacks so much, I really do
Why is this happening to me? My zoloft was working so well and I take a xanax nightly I was so happy and healthy, I hate this so much

Okay first of all your panic attacks will slow down. This is something off topic but I can relate to you with something so small stressing you out so bad that you start having panic attacks about it. Same with feeling like your doctors don't care. I can never get them on the phone. You'd think they would just take 5 mins out of there day to talk to us and calm us down but no. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself. I feel like I'm at a dead end as well. Just keep hope! I haven't eaten or slept right in 3 months. It's going to be okay! You can pm me if you need to talk.

I really do understand the intensity of your fear and depression. I have been there. But, please don't hurt yourself!!

Please read my response to your post in the anxiety section.

The fear can be deafening ~ I know! And it's awfully tough to have any hope for the future when you're facing these intense emotions day after day. It is really hard...no doubt about it! You aren't alone ~ many of us here on PC have faced similar struggles, especially looking at the general concept of simply wanting to end our misery. Despite our misery, we push ourselves to keep going.

You can do this. Repeat that to yourself over and over and over again. Verbally ~ it works! Just keep reminding yourself how many times you've fought through these intense fears...and you're still here. You are okay despite the intense fear, and avoidance of eating. You will be okay. Say it over again. That'll help you get through the intense anxiety in the moment, which is exactly what you need to do & stop avoiding other things.

...yeh man!...matey!...thats some serious stuff hey?....and the first thing is to 'validate'....ok' lets see...I am you for a bit...

(and I have similar issues....just not the hairdresser but thats ok)

medication is a gamble as it is...

I took zoloft and nearly fell off a waterfall...
I took xanax and ended up in jail...for a bit..

panic attacks have so much force!...so much conviction....but really it's just a nightmare while awake..

I get them and they crucify me...I cannot move!...

I can't find God or an angel....?..damn it's hard...it's emotionally crippling.

after enough of this I get really down and want to quit!
I get obsessed with ending my life because it's a natural response to the otherworldly pressures upon me.

panic attacks have killed my friends....even while driving...
whoops..flipped the car...

these attacks are pitifull useless and meaningless...
they are worries beyond my comprehension and therefore unhelpful.
to convince myself of this FACT....takes a marvelous desire to overcome....just for my sake

it's ok

I don't have anything useful to add, but I care-please hang in there

clouds_and_sun,

I just want you to know that you are cared about and even though you are having horrible anxiety attacks you need to know something... they will fade. I have went through a similiar experience... I had a tattoo done (and that's something permanent!) on my right shoulder that wasn't just perfect... I am going to go back to the artist eventually and see if they can do something to fix it but it was killing me with anxietyfor DAYS. This was close to 2 weeks ago and I am calmed down now (I am taking xanax as well).

I don't have a wife or kids myself and I'm unmarried and I can relate to your extremely sad thoughts but please hang in there? I promise you'll feel better. If you need someone to talk to please PM me and we can talk about it. Please take care of yourself and just breathe and know that your hair will grow back and can be cut again just how you want... maybe find another hairdresser. I promise things will get better.

((((((( Clouds_and_Sun! )))))))
My experience: My anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds

• help a little,
• most of the time,

but their effects can be overwhelmed by a serious stressor. And yes, my tolerance for stress is so low that many normal things can push me close to the edge. For example, sometime within the past three weeks I became marginally suicidal over the stresses associated with going out to look for a suit (ended up not buying anything).

I have a green light from my psychiatrist to take extra anti-anxiety doses when necessary. I believe I took one extra dose that day.

I'm sorry. Please keep posting.

((hugs)) to you all and I have to say your stories really breaks my heart. I hope that things get better. I think that panic attacks are dumb useless and the worst! I did go back to the hair dresser to get it fixed which has calmed me down some, I haven't really eaten anything heavy yet. I will try. Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and your advice. That means so much to me, I hope that you all feel better soon as well, you all are to kind to have to suffer from this, no one should have to suffer from this (panic disorder).