rejected again

i am feeling horrible right now. i went on another site to make an account, but i was denied because i am too young. i feel so stupid for doing that. two sites should and are enough. i guess it's because i want to feel like i can make a differernce in many people's lives. the administrator said it wasn't personal, but even though i know she meant it, part of me won't accept it. now all i want to do is wait until my mom leaves and then go into my room, get out my sharp razor or a new one and cut until i feel no emotions. i know realize that i am pretty much worthless and i don't deserve all the good that is coming to me. if only i was physically stronger...

i don't think i should talk to anyone outside of these sites and my therapist because if i don't put myself out there then i can't be rejected and i won't have to feel terrible again. maybe i should just keep my mouth shut and not try to be more extroverted, maybe it will save me some pain.
thoughts?

Sam

1st I'm sorry you're feeling like that. 2nd, I can relate...I tried to join this other site & was rejected also. It was because I was too old...apparently. I had those same feelings you are having now, but guess what I let it go because I was accepted here. A lot of people here has made me feel like I do belong & my opinions/feelings does matter. The same thing goes for you here 8)

Please try your best to stay safe & not hurt yourself. I know...who am I to talk (I didn't have this in mind when I was thinking about cutting & gave in). I guess I'm telling you this because you still can change your mind about cutting tonight. You don't have to do it. Stay here & post where people have accepted you already. Pm me anytime because I've accepted you just by replying to your post.

See...you do matter, you're not worthless, & you don't have to be an introvert here 8) *hugstightly*
Take care & stay safe

Hi Sam. You are N0T worthless. You're struggling, yes, like most/all of us, but please don't think you're worthless. I struggle with rejection too, but I try to remember that another persons actions are not a reflection of me... Please try to remember this. XOXO

Yes, try not to cut do not give in to your illness. Be strong, keep posting untill you are over the urge to cut. You may also get a tablet out and write and write put down your feeling on paper get it out until the urge goes away. This works for me some of the time. Please take care of yourself. Hope you have a better tomorrow.

Hi Sam

I sorry your going through this as well. I can totally relate to you. I don't put myself out there either, because the thought of being rejected would hurt me deeply. That is one of the reason why I'm so shy and don't have any friends. My only social interaction is going on PC and other chat sites. I'm 15 btw.

Any who, I hope you feel better soon.

Don't let one site bring you down, you are better than that!

Awe I'm so sorry you felt rejected, I have been rejected before and it does sting. I don't think you should stop trying to help others though, you are a great person and you should keep doing what you're doing! I really value that in you, don't give up hope bud!

Hi smmath,

You are definitely not worthless! I recall trying to join 2 other forums before PC, and one of them was really rude! I told them I'm not a robot, and the administrator told me to just get lost. There I was thinking, what kind of support forum is this?

Thereafter I found PC and it's the best decision I've made. You are definitely not worthless!

Rejection is a experiences that can envoke powerful emotions. It is hard to deal with. I know it can be overwhelming and you just want to not feel it. I have done what you have done a lot of times in my life. Go through something, get rejected or feel in adequate and then get bombarded by feeling of self hate and worthlessness.

You can't do anything to change the past, but you can learn from your experiences and try to have a more positive action next time.

You may be too young to join that site, but that doesn't mean you are worthless and can't help people. It is just a rule for whatever reason and isn't a reflection of you.

It is a very noble thing of you to want to help people. For that reason alone you should take some pride in yourself and try to feel better about yourself.

Low self esteem is hard to battle. It feeds into itself a lot. I have to take a deep breath a lot and try to look at things from an objective view. My natural response is to blame myself when something goes wrong and sometimes try to make it worse by punishing myself.

Next time when something like this happens try and take a second to think about things from a different point of view. You feel what you feel and feelings are valid, not always true or reflective of facts but valid. You can control what you do with all of them.

I find that when I self injury I become numb and then when something happens again it feels intensified. The more you try and resolve internal conflicts and learn hope to cope with better means the easier it becomes to use those other coping strategies.

I'm not judging you for how you handled those feeling. Being rejected sucks. Its painful. You did the thing you knew how to cope with that. It wasn't a positive way to cope but it was coping. There are other ways to do the same thing. Try to look at it from a rational approach next time. You may be young, but that doesn't mean you can't help anyone or are worthless. What you felt was painful but was a natural part of being rejected. Next time try to acknowldge these feeling and make a decision on how to find resolution to them. The person you was 5 minutes before attempting to sign up to the website and 5 minutes after is still the same.

Stick with your therapy and if helping people makes you feel better about yourself try to find another way to help if you can't in one way. The world has no shortage of problems or people in need. Try not to forget yourself either. You have just as a much a need for help as anyone else. You are just as worthy as anyone else.

You can PM me if you ever need to talk.

I don't know what sites you are talking about, but please don't think anything of it. Like the above poster said, it is just a stupid rule someone made up and doesn't have nothing on you. You already know you can do better than that, you already know what you want to do, to help people. Prepare yourself, you should meditate. You must learn the way to never bend or break. Accept compliments, do not seek them. Accept criticism, learn from it to only become stronger.

Someone once said like animals we go into hiding when we are hurt, and I can see you are hurting badly. However, you must find the strength from within to fight back and come out because you can't hide forever, it will bring only more pain.

Wow, I never expected to get any more responses to this thread. I posted that two years ago, but am thankful that 15LRC decided to resurrect it. It was interesting to look back and see how bad my depression was at that time. Reading this is bringing up a lot emotion, which is good.

A lot of things have happened in the past two years. One of those things is my willingness to share my age. I used to not care if y'all knew that I was a teenager, but now I want to hide that fact. I feel very self conscious about my age. I am afraid of being treated differently when it comes to talking about mental things. I am not naive when it comes to my mental health or others. My therapist told me that I have a achieved a level of self-awareness that many adults don't have.

Great, now I sound egotistical and I apologize for that. I am not trying to be or am asking for acceptance. I am however a very defensive person, so I can come off wrong.

Thanks y'all for the feedback and support.

I absolutely agree w ur therapist, u are considered pretty self aware
and i would go as far to say mature for ur age, compared to most. Here's
a tip I am thirty something yrs old, and I feel in a way u actually relate
and understand me, in a way most usually don't... and that says ALOT for
ur age.