"Why didnt you do it?" (Sui trigger?)

Just wondering why pdocs ask why we didnt commit suicide when we mention that we were very suicidal last week or whatever?

I never know what to say because i really dont know what made me not do it. They make it sound like its no big deal because if you were serious you would have done it?

I think that if they asked why you DIDN'T do it, alot of people would think it's kind of a "push" to go ahead and DO it !! It would be kind of like giving permission. If a psych said to me "Why didn't you commit suicide?" I'd have to wonder if he WANTED me to or not!!! LOL When people are contemplating suicide, they aren't in their right mind in the first place, so asking a question like that really isn't a good idea -- it could be interpreted wrongly. LOL

That just MY take on it. Take care. Hugs, Lee

I didn't do it because they took my shoes and car keys away in the ER.

No deep insights there, sadly.

(((2ofme))) Because they wanted to know what stopped you, what level of depression you got to, what pulled you away from the last step. Depression is a killer that we still do not know enough about to cure. These questions are for your safety and the safety of the next person. They are not being mean to you they are getting all the information that they can on your depression to understand your illness as we are all different. Depression will turn everything against you even your doctor. Don't let it do that to you. Be honest with your doctor, if not you are kind of fighting depression on your own.

I have been where you are talking about and farther more than once. I too have no real answer to: Why did you not do it? I guess we beat depression some how for that moment.

I hope some how some day we will not have to live like this but untill then all we can do is learn as much as we can to live with or mental illnesses. Good luck and my tomorrow be a better day.

If someone asks you why you didn't commit suicide they could be wondering what stopped you. It is a big deal and that's why they ask you about it. It may seem like they seem to think it's not a big deal, but in all reality its a taboo subject. Not to many people like to talk about it. And even more that do not understand the desire behind it, or when the thoughts just come and we don't know why.

It could be that they ask so they can add to "stay alive" reason lists for others who are on the edge. don't think it is meant to push anyone towards - just a way to help others move back and away from a choice that is so final and can't be reversed.

I'd say: "Because I never actually wanted to"

i envisioned how devastated my son would be. it took me back to reality even tho i was in desperate despair.
there came a day when i thought it might be better for him if i was gone. that's when i asked to be put in the psych ward. i knew i needed major help. i could no longer help myself and i knew it. another moment of reality and clarity, thank goodness.

People ask to explore what happened at the time, and to assess your coping strategies. For example, many people mention what pdocs consider protective measures against suicide, such as children, pets, family & friends. It can help for them to know what your 'don't do it' reasons are to remind you of them next time you feel suicidal. Studies have shown that talking about suicide with those who are suicidal does not increase their chances of suicide, and I find, personally, that it can actually be really helpful in releasing the 'pressure valve' inside you.

*Willow*

I really thought a bit about putting my response here because I certainly don't think it's something to make fun of, I just see things a bit weird... but here goes anyway.

when I was asked that question....one of the reasons, I said that, "well the problem that occurred to me with my suicide was that I wouldn't be alive to enjoy it!"

my less selfish version is simply family...and that I would be passing my depression onto them. They don't deserve that!

The only thing that stops me is my friends and family. I could not do that to them. When I was at breaking point last year I had two options. Kill myself or finally admit to my family that I have depression and need help. I am only 18 now and I was hospitalized and missed out on quite a bit of high school. Its not about what stopped me, its about what stops me and will continue to. I am unhappy being alive and everyone around me listens when I say that but they don't really understand. I finally had a conversation with my mom about it. I said "what you want is for me to be happy right? Then why would you hold me back from the one thing that will make me happy?" I have lived my entire life doing what I can for others. There is no doubt that I care about others more than myself. Which is why although I am unhappy and do not want to make an effort and would just like to peacefully and quietly leave this world... I won't because what my family and friends want is more important that what i want.

It is a big deal. It is serious. They want to know why you didn't because it's like they are detectives and knowing why you didn't is a clue to understanding your thoughts better. Then, they can use this info as a tool to stop you from doing it the next time it comes up. They are trying to protect you from yourself. Also, they are trying to help you gain insight into your own thinking and behavior. It truly is an important and fair question to ask. They care. It's not supposed to be a provocative question. I wish someone had asked my uncle this question before he killed himself. Maybe he would have thought twice...
dazeofdolphins

What was your answer when the pdocs asked you? that's important...

I personally think they ask to remind you that you didn't do it because you still have hope. Because there is still something inside of you that believes life is worth living because you (rightly so) believe there is something to live for and things can improve.

To remind you that you know the finality of suicide- that you only get ONE life and why would you want to end it when life is FULL of possibilities.

To remind you IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

I also was told that people who actually do it, never tell anyone that they even thought about it, they just do it.

Whenever I felt suicidal or have attempted it, it was not because I wanted to really "die" but because I felt so hopeless and desperate that I wanted the attention and wanted to be proven wrong that there IS hope, and I wanted to be "saved"

It's like a child who throws a tantrum or holds their breath- their intention is not to become unconscious or anything harmful but just to be recognized and loved etc

It breaks my heart when I hear of people actually committing suicide because I can only guess the level of despair they must be feeling to actually go through with it. I highly doubt they feel it was the right choice the entire time it is happening for real until the last breath.