[Emptty]

I'm starting to think I've never "gotten over" my depression, not even a little.

It's like I fool myself, when things work out I feel good so I tell myself I'm happy, but faking it exhausts me and I end up falling right back into a depression that feels even worse than the one before.

I feel like it will never get better and if it does, it won't last.
I wish life wasn't so hard. I feel alone. I just want to curl up and cry but if I start, I'll be up all night crying and won't be able to stop.

[shezbut]

((((Emptty))))

Sorry that you're feeling such pain and hopelessness. That really DOES suck, I know. Many of us here understand what you're struggling with.

Are you working with a T regularly? How is that going? How about meds? Do you take any to help boost your mood a bit? Have you talked with a doctor about a change in dosage or type of meds? Other tricks include: regular exercise, getting out w/ nature, finding mood boosters that are healthy and including them in your daily life, avoiding unhealthy habits (drinking alcohol, drugs, sweets, etc.).

You still aren't alone if you are or aren't following these techniques. Not everything works for everyone. We are all different, and therefore, we require different boosts to keep us up in life.

Best wishes to you!!

[dailyhealing]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much right now. I know the pain is unbearable sometimes, but I continue to believe healing is possible for everyone if you keep working at it. I hope you will keep posting and that things start to improve for you.

Originally Posted by Emptty

I'm starting to think I've never "gotten over" my depression, not even a little.

It's like I fool myself, when things work out I feel good so I tell myself I'm happy, but faking it exhausts me and I end up falling right back into a depression that feels even worse than the one before.

I feel like it will never get better and if it does, it won't last.
I wish life wasn't so hard. I feel alone. I just want to curl up and cry but if I start, I'll be up all night crying and won't be able to stop.

I think that when you are in depression it feels as if you have always been in depression and always will be. That perception is false...it is part of depression.

Your second paragraph is hard to understand. If you feel good when things work out, isn't that basically being happy? Nobody is happy all the time. I don't think anyone is even happy most of the time.
If you're talking about faking happiness...that just doesn't work. You will only end up more confused.

With some people depression is a recurring theme. The only thing you can do is enjoy and make the most of the times when depression isn't present.
Life is hard for most people. The world can be a very cruel place. Most people have a thick layer of protection that keeps them from seeing or feeling bad about the bad things going on in the world. Some people have a thinner layer of protection. I don't know what the source of your depression is so I don't feel comfortable going any further with this. I hope things get better for you.

[Leed]

Hi ! Sounds like you have clinical depression. Are you on medications? You probably should be. Talk to your doctor about it. See what he thinks. And if you're in therapy, talk to your therapist too.

See what they both think. But if the depression keeps coming back, you may need meds. I have to take the all the time - from now on. It's no big deal.

I wish you the very best. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( Emptty ))))))))))))))))

[Emptty]

My T has been trying to get me to a psychiatrist to get meds but I'm not in a position to do that right now unfortunately. I do exercise and I work a lot to keep my mind off my troubles. I recently quit my evening job thinking it would help relieve some of my stress and sadness but it did nothing. Everything always seems bad. I know there are happy times but I guess I've forgotten what they feel like.

Thank you all for your support and suggestions.

[optimize990h]

((((hugs))) I understand your situation.

[Jakub]

i understand you... it must be hard for i believe it is but im here... if you need chat plz tell me ok??

[InfiniteSadness]

Couldn't of said it any better.

[TroubledAngel12]

I know the feeling. I have been stuck in the same situation before and still am...I'm really depressed right now...