I really want to cry. I wish I had friends.

I'm so frustrated with myself right now. I just can't make or even keep friends. I'm too quiet and I hate it. No one likes to talk to me for that reason. I lost my phone the other day and got a new one. On Facebook I updated my status saying to message me for my number if anyone wanted it. No one messaged me.

Also my friend who I hang out with a lot is leaving me out of her plans now. In high school I would hang out with her and two other girls. Just recently she made plans with them, but left me out. I know because I saw them at the mall the other day and when I said hi they ran away. It made me really sad.

A few days ago I attempted suicide. Not just because of the friend issue though. I had some other reasons. I tried to overdose, but I just ended up with a cramped stomach. My dad was about to take me to the hospital, but my mom said "Just let her do it. Her gone will be less money for us to spend." They both walked away after that. Wtf? Why even have a child if you're going to think that later on?? In fact I just wish I would have never even been born. I'm sick of being miserable.

You are not worthless, although feeling left out certainly causes many people to feel that way.

Perhaps you are somewhat shy and an introvert? I can relate to that. Shyness can be overcome by reaching out to people in spite of any fears about it. Introversion is simply a different way of relating to people - we value deeper connections with a close-knit group of people and can be exhausted by endless, random socializing.

I believe the trick is to deliberately be on the lookout for people who share common interests and perspectives on things, actually seek them out, and also to move past the shyness. This takes practice and yes it can cause some anxiety. The anxiety gets worse the less you open up, because it leaves room for assuming you won't be accepted by people. I have been through this and am still working on it.

Maybe it isn't you. Maybe you chose the wrong friends. If you saw these friends do that to someone else... what would you think about them? If you were with them and they did this to another friend... what would you do? Think about it.
Facebook... FB is no place to find your value or self esteem.

Yes I am very shy. I'm a freshman in college now and I've been dealing with it even since 6th grade. It's getting to the point where I'm just about to give up.

I did join a club that has to do with something I'm very passionate about, but I couldn't even talk to people there. My mom says that's strange and it really is. If I can't even talk to people who have the same interests as I do, I don't think this is going to get better. Ever.

No it's me. I know it is. Almost everyone I meet leaves me sometime later on. I've never kept a friend for over a month, and the one time I did, she was just using me.

I know it's not which is why I try not to use it so often, but when I do it just makes me feel even worse. It's silly, I know, but I hate seeing people uploading pictures of them with their friends and how I can't because I don't even have any. lol

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's sad to hear how cruel your parents are. You are worth knowing and someday you will find that special friend that will stick with you forever. I found that friend as a sophomore in high school, I thought she was mean and she thought I was a snob but when we got talking we realized that we had a lot in common.
Now she is one of the only people who knows even a little bit about my depression (other than my therapist of course).

Please don't despair too much. You are worth it. You will be able to find friends, sometimes it just takes time.

I hope you have a good holiday. Don't be too hard on yourself.

I know what you are going through. I have gone through circles of friends and understand.how difficult to keep them. I was always working too hard to keep them. Now I am here at PC feeling comfortable discussing this issue. I hope you continue to come to PC and have our support for you.

Crying has always made me feel better. Right now my best friend is dying from systemic cancer. When I first found out about it I started writing every day. She copied the letters when she had about a hundred of them and now when I think my life is useless, I read those letters and I think of how hard she is fighting for life. The writing started to heal me so I found sites to write to soldiers, etc. She send me a get well card yesterday because I shared about how I was feeling (her son is bipolar too). I'm in a severe major depression right now, but I think that as long as I can write and make someone else's day better (even if I don't know them) I will be okay.

So sorry you are feeling isolated from others. I'm 52 years old so I have a lot of experience regarding the raising of a child and social anxiety. First of all, killing yourself may cease the pain you are feeling, but it will create ripple affects that you cannot imagine. Suicide is not the answer to your problem.

All of us were born for a specific purpose. It is likely that no one will know that purpose until we transition after life, but I firmly believe that if we cut our lives short, we will be sent back for the purpose until we fulfill it. I have no evidence of my belief, but I have talked with a number of people who tried to commit suicide, failed, had a near death experience as a result, and were told this. Can't say it's true or not true but I personally believe it.

Secondly, your parents are either very stupid, cruel, or scared to say what was said. My guess is they are too scared to confront the reality of your action and are acting in a bravado manner to deal with it.

Third, the question you need to ask yourself is why are you so shy? Do you not believe you count and have a voice? Are you afraid of making a mistake? Are you afraid something terrible will happen? It is a fact that most people are more afraid of public speaking than death. Why? After all is said and done, the most important opinion we will hold is the one we hold about ourselves. Ask yourself what is the WORST thing that will happen if you go beyond your comfort zone, and speak your truth? Others may not agree or even laugh. So what? Why is their opinion worth more than your own?

I recommend the following two books, that may help you. The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Branden, and Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World that can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain.

Good luck and let me know you are doing. I care and so do others. You are not alone.

Woah, if your mom really said that I am very sorry that you had to hear that. That's really messed up of her to say.

Posts like this frustrate me because I wonder where are you kind of people in my life. I too don't have much friends and I too feel like I can never keep them but that's only because I'm mentally at a different place than they are. So the real problem is where are these people in person that I can connect to? Anytime I read posts like this, I realize that that's the problem. You at least have this online community.

This is truly terrible, especially if your Mom said what she said.

I have problems relating to people too, but suicide isn't the answer. Life has too much to offer us than to throw it away.

I am an introverted person. I don't have any real life friends because they always seem to let me down. This happened just yesterday to me. I got all dressed up and my friend cancelled one hour before with some lame excuse. Totally unreliable and selfish of her, and I probably won't be talking to her again. But, through every bad experience some good came out of it. I ended up going to a bar and striking up a conversation with a guy (something I would never do) cause I said to myself what the hell?

Life is too short, I ended having a really good time yesterday even when my so called friend totally let me down. Real life friends aren't worth it to me. You just have to take life into your own hands and live for you, not for other people.

"I did join a club that has to do with something I'm very passionate about, but I couldn't even talk to people there. My mom says that's strange and it really is. If I can't even talk to people who have the same interests as I do, I don't think this is going to get better. Ever.[/QUOTE]"

Well... I too am very shy, and I agree, it may not get better or easier to approach people, at least at first. You say you could not talk at the club you went to, but at this point, does that matter? Sometimes just going along and listening is good for you and good for the club because they have people like you and me for membership. Not everyone has to be a talker... just imagine if everyone talked all the time?? what a noisy world. And in the meantime, you are out of the house and interacting at least a little bit with other people and learning about stuff you like.

There is nothing wrong with just sitting and waiting for the time when you are comfortable enough with being there, and actually have something to say. Trying to say something before either of those things happens just won't work. I suggest you just keep going along, not trying to say anything, but listen and learn and just get used to being with other people. Maybe try out just making eye contact with some regulars that say things you like, and maybe try a little smile... even if you have to look away straight away afterwards and yes, even if you feel embarrassed.... a smile connects you with other people... lets them know you see them... and may lead to them saying hello next time.

I think us shy people sometimes forget that because we just sit and say nothing that we tend to become invisible to people around us. This really hurts our selfesteem because then we think we are not worth seeing. Not so.
Just be patient with yourself. Shy people are actually really worthwhile friends because we are great listeners, we think before we speak, and we are gentle and caring. Here is a trick I use...why not look around you for other quiet, shy people who like you might be feeling really out of things? maybe all they need is for someone like you, who knows what loneliness feels like, to smile and say hello?