Considering hospitalization

I have been on a downward spiral for several months now. I am back to cheating on my husband, back to cutting myself, dont care about anything anymore. Last night, I was very down and feeling that life wasn't worth living. I feel worthless for cheating and that I am hurting both men. Just writing this post is making me cry and shake and panic. I feel like I can't breathe and my chest hurts. I know it is a panic attack but I have never had them before. Which makes me panic even more. I just want everything to end. Everything.

I am considering going to the ER and telling them I am suicidal. But I am terrified of a few things. I am terrified of being "locked up" and I am terrified of losing my job if I am admitted. I know I need help but I don't know what to do.....where to go.....what to honestly tell someone.

Can anyone help me?? Give me some advice?? I really need help.

I'm really sorry to hear you like this. I have wondered the same thing for quite some time and I am considering it now as well. I'm on a self destructive path that's leading further away from my loved one and pushing me deeper into my own darkness. I don't know the specifics but if you go into an ER, there most likely going to put you on a hold, where your not able to leave for a determinate amount of time. You wont be "locked up", but you won't be able to leave or do much of anything until the time has elapsed and there obligated to let you go as long as you marginally better. I highly doubt they would inform your work or if there is a short-term treatment center involved (meaning you will be in a care facility not being able to leave, but a lot less restrictive) neither of them are obligated or allowed to contact your work unless you chose to grant them permission. They do, I'm almost positive on this, call you next closest relative which would be your husband to inform them of the situation and to take partial control in the decision process for you. If this terrifies you, you should at least call one of the many crisis hotlines, some are local and have more detailed information about what kind of steps the hospitals in your area will do or the national one which will tell you some stuff, mostly general like what places are legally allowed to do by law and such.

There is also the option of just skipping the hospital all together and going to one of those care facilities and talking with them and seeing what they can do and your options. Unlike hospitals, there not legally obligated to put you on a hold or lock you up unless you're a serious danger to yourself or others OR unless you ask for it. I can't confirm this for sure, I have never heard about this one before, but it would stand to say there not just going to turn you away either. If you can, I would call ahead to them first to see if you can see someone there really quickly and possibly some options. You don't have to tell them everything at first, you could just say that you need help for your problems and it's getting really bad and I have no where to go. At least by calling they can give you some advice if they can't take you on where you can go if the hospital/ER is not a place you want to go to.

Again, I don't know how accurate the stuff above is, it's just what I have learned over the years of thinking of doing it myself and I might, things for me aren't looking to good as well at the moment and I'm scared of myself.

I can say this, they wont contact anyone unless you tell them to OR your badly hurting inside to the point where your an immediate danger to yourself or others. AND they will only contact you closest relative which would be your husband.

I really hope this helps, and please try and stay safe in all of this, I know it's hard and I'm barely keeping myself safe. But I highly recommend you at least talk to someone, anyone. You don't have to tell them your suicidal or anything, but it might help you calm down a bit. Please stay safe and whatever decision you make to go to or talk to, it will be a step in the right direction. Again Please stay safe, if not for yourself, but for everyone who loves you and cares for you, and if that's not enough, please do it for me. I come on here looking for help myself and just talking on here is helping somewhat and I don't want to finish this without telling you, I fully understand you.

Please stay safe.

- Patandorf

If fear is stopping you, talk with your employer and see if you can do a Leave of Absence. (some will/ some won't). But it's worth asking.

being "locked up" is hard, but it's also like locking you in your house. (Isolation) only with professionals to help you get better.

Are you seeing a therapist/psych doc/anyone that is helpful in helping to be less depressed?

Patandorf has a good point. You won't be "locked up". You will be safe though, and that needs to take precident. If you do go, do it on a week day, because a lot of times if you go in on the weekend, you won't be evaluated until the next weekday, so you'd basically be wasting your time (except that you would be safe). As long as you are an adult, you can sign yourself back out as long as you aren't a danger to yourself.

As for work, they need only know that you were in the hospital because you were sick. You don't have to tell them that it was in the psych ward. Its really none of their business. If they require a doctor's note, ask the doctor to sign it but not put down the fact that he is a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are doctors with a specialty in psychiatry, at least that is what I understand. You can check that out.

I don't know if you have cheated on your husband before, but if you haven't told him, before you do, decide if telling him is going to make you feel better or just cause problems. You do need to break it off with the other guy though. A marriage can only survive so many betrayals. Some people can get through cheating, while others can't. It may be one of the symptoms of your illness.

Right now the most important thing to do is to get yourself someplace safe. If you take your life, none of the rest will matter and you will never have a chance to put things right. No matter what the fallout, you can deal with it once you are on your feet again. I lost my wife and son to divorce, and though it was very painful, it wasn't the end of the world. You are important and a lot of people care about you. The fact that you are asking if you should hospitalize yourself says that you know you probably do. I know its scary and you are dealing with a lot of different hells right now, but the best thing you can do now is go to the ER. Now isn't the time to worry about what may or may not happen with the cheating and at work. There is time for that later, when you are stronger and have help to deal with it.

Please let us know that you have gotten yourself safely to the hospital. If you aren't allowed to use a computer in the hospital, at least let us know that you are going, or have your husband post a short message. Hang in there and realize that you are not alone.

Sam2

If your worried about work, you can tell your employer you are taking an FMLA leave. This is a federal act that protects you from losing your job and health insurance during your leave. You are entitled to take up to 12 weeks a year. You qualify if you work for someone that hire more than 50 people, and you work for the employer full time. You can also have your doctor call your employer and tell them you are unable to work. I think you have to notify you employer in advanced though.

I went to the hospital once when I was feeling suicidal. What happened for me is I sat there for most of the night and about 3 am a psychiatrist came in to talk to me. They released me into the care of my sister and set up therapy.

Another time I felt suicidal, I talked to my therapist and did inpatient hospitalization. It wasn't at a regular hospital. It was a mental health place. I was safe from hurting myself there. They had group therapy and family visits if you want them. It was voluntary and you can be released 24 hours after you want.

Just try to keep yourself safe. There is help out there. Please be safe and take care of yourself.

I'm not sure how these things work in the U.S., it's quite a bit different here in Canada because of the insurance question. But Sam and Adam have given some great advice, check yourself into a hospital and/or mental health facility if you're afraid for your well-being. I was 12 hours away from doing so in October last year, but when I woke up my debilitating anxiety was quite a bit better, so I put it off. I was prepared to go with a family member after that night, and it was a relief knowing that I'd be taken care of by others.

Please stay safe, and keep us posted!

RJ

I really wonder what happen if suicidal people like us go to the ER of a normal hospital? Will we get transferred to a mental hospital? I don't think any psychiatrists are on call in the hospitals of my country... Not even in the mental hospital.

If you can arrange it, you need to get in to see your psychiatrist as soon as possible. You need to be on medications to calm the hysteria and to make it possible for you to talk to him to get an opinion on how you should handle the symptoms you're having.

Unfortunately, you are placing yourself in a very precarious position by the irresponsible sexual behavior and you need to get that stopped once and for all. Your husband will not tolerate that, in my view, for very long, and he has rights in the marriage that are being abused, as you know. Legal action favors his position very much at this point.

Please see a psychiatrist right away and get help.

Good wishes in overcoming the problems very, very soon.