[unhappycamper463]

I've talked to a lot of people and I still haven't gotten a good answer to this question (other than limbic survival instinct).

What is your reason to continue?

[optimize990h]

The message I got is let go and let God. Or it's not my time.

[black dog boogie]

Definitely my husband. And I am really lucky to have some great friends who I don't want to hurt.

[Leed]

What's my reason to go on? Because life is a GIFT and God gave it to us. Every day I wake up, I wonder what's in store for me. What gift is God going to give me today? Sometimes a crises happens, and of course God doesn't cause these -- these are man-made. But the orange-red sunrise is a gift. The blue skies are a gift. The very slight warming (right now in Michigan ) is a gift since Spring is trying to arrive.

There are so many gifts -- my eyesight so I can SEE these things is a gift!! Think of the millions of people who can't SEE these things.

I could give you a list a mile long of reasons to go on -- but I can't give you ONE reason to end it. Even the fact that I'm a chronic pain patient and I suffer with horrendous pain 24/7 -- my spine is deteriorating and every move I make causes horrible pain. But THAT'S not enough to want to end it.

God gave me life -- and only HE can take it away. And HE isn't ready and neither am I. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[tinyrabbit]

My husband and my cat.

For a long time, it was so I could read all the Harry Potter books. I always find little reasons even if I can't find big ones.

[Dante'sStoker]

I do not appreciate "gifts" I do not want. We often find ourselves in difficulties that are more than overwhelming. Those kinds of "gifts" I do not need.

[adam_k]

For me it is hope to find happiness and love at the moment. The prospect of being at peace with myself and the failed attempts that haunt me stop me from trying again.

My main reason to keep going on is because I could never "do it". I've thought about wanting my life to end; and at times I fantisize about what it would be like to die. There are times when I feel so down that it would be nice to exit out. But typically the next day, some little nice thing can happen. And then it gets my hopes up.

I never came close to ending it all. I've thought about it and thought it would be nice, but I never came close to doing anything about it. When I feel down enough that I would want to end it all, it's for circumstantial reasons. It would be because I would feel lonely and depressed. But I tend to get over that fairly quick.

Just one time I felt suicidal because of an anti depressant I took. I didn't want to take the anti depressant in the first place, but my doctor thought that I should. The side effects made me feel that way. I don't know what that medication was called. It was a generic kind.

In my life I came close to being killed three times. Not by suicide, or course. I came close about two years ago when I just missed being in an intersection on my bike when someone ran a red light. On the road that I was on, the traffic light was green. I was about 10 yards from approaching the intersectoin when I saw an SUV running the red light. He hit a car that had crossed the intersection just in front of me.

[frownupsidedown]

I've looked for an answer to this question myself many times.....sometimes I don't find one. I have no reason right now other than pure stubbornness. Often times, I think it would be better for everyone if I no longer existed. Sometimes the thing that helps me go on is thinking how my death would affect other people I know and how hard that would be for them to deal with the aftermath.

[allimsaying]

I go on because if I give up I lose. I dont like losing. And I like the trees, the scenery and some people.

[Sabra]

Frownupsidedown wrote "Sometimes the thing that helps me go on is thinking how my death would affect other people I know and how hard that would be for them to deal with the aftermath."

I agree. I grew up with 3 suicides in my family with many threats and attempts by my father. The impact on the rest of the family was horrible.

When I had my first major depression, I mean the kind where I sat and stared out the window for 8 hours a day, my kids kept me going. I didn't want them to have to deal with all the fallout I did as a kid.

When enduring a major depression, I held to the idea that there was help.I just needed to stay alive long enough to find it. I guess it was kind of a leap of faith that I wouldn't feel that way forever.

"When walking through hell, just keep walking." Churchill

Sabra

[Sabra]

Frownupsidedown wrote "Sometimes the thing that helps me go on is thinking how my death would affect other people I know and how hard that would be for them to deal with the aftermath."

I agree. I grew up with 3 suicides in my family with many threats and attempts by my father. The impact on the rest of the family was horrible.

When I had my first major depression, I mean the kind where I sat and stared out the window for 8 hours a day, my kids kept me going. I didn't want them to have to deal with all the fallout I did as a kid.

When enduring a major depression, I held to the idea that there was help.I just needed to stay alive long enough to find it. I guess it was kind of a leap of faith I wouldn't feel suicidal forever.

"When walking through hell, just keep walking." Churchill

Sabra

[unaluna]

Used to be, soon after my dIvorce, I didn't want my cats nibbling at my toes. Now, 30 years later, I couldn't do it to my current t. I feel like he has a lot invested in me. He has been trying to show me a way of life that isn't based on fear, but starts from love. It took me a long time to see that. Also, if you look at how quickly a cut or scratch heals, or how a plant grows, you get a sense of how hard it is to kill biology. Life wants to live.

[ExiExi]

Originally Posted by unhappycamper463

What is your reason to continue?

lack of inspiration

[Nessa213]

I can honestly say that my daughter has saved my life on more than one occasion.

[Kate King]

I keep going because I have tried the alternative and failed. Going through the darkest of the dark I can now say that I am here for a reason, however small that may seem to be. Most days right now, it is to take care of my dog. On the better days it is to avoid the physical and emotional pain I have been through. On the best days it is just to never give up. I am not in a "good" place according to the world's standards, but I have shed that mirage and realize now that I am in A place...I am in the Lord's hands. And as black as the days are right now, that is a good place to be.

I agree with Leed. Life is a gift.

[twiks]

The only thing that's kept me from ending it is because I couldn't put my kids through that.

Honestly. if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be alive today.

I don't buy into any of that "life is a gift" stuff because I honestly don't believe that it is. At least mine isn't. But, I've seen what suicide can do to kids and I could never put mine through that. That's the one and only thing keeping me around

[Double]

I keep moving because I need the time to strengthen my relationship with God, and to find the woman of my life.

[LadyShadow]

I keep going because I have a purpose, even though I don't know what it is yet. The darkness creeps up often and I play the flute to balance my center. Its like breathing in it with the sounds it makes releases God's love and his amazing ability coming from my own heart. No, I'm not leaving this life yet. No I'm not.

[allimsaying]

Originally Posted by hankster

Used to be, soon after my dIvorce, I didn't want my cats nibbling at my toes. Now, 30 years later, I couldn't do it to my current t. I feel like he has a lot invested in me. He has been trying to show me a way of life that isn't based on fear, but starts from love. It took me a long time to see that. Also, if you look at how quickly a cut or scratch heals, or how a plant grows, you get a sense of how hard it is to kill biology. Life wants to live.

LOL about the cats, and your T sounds great. I like the idea of life based on love rather than fear. Fear makes us go inside ourselves. Love brings us out.

partly because i'm scared of what lies on the other side, partly because i feel selfish (their are people worse off than me who won't get a chance at living) cancer and things, and also partly because of my music- i can't see myself not having it

[winter4me]

I have a dream that there is still hope for me----I try to tell myself that I have managed to live this long, I have two healthy grown children and my first marvelous grandchild, I have my physical health which seems ridiculous but could be related to running my *** off at most jobs I've done (not the two I have now but...I could change that...) and eating plain food mostly, when I remember to eat---or feel like it. (and sometimes I LOVE it)------for a long time, outside of home, I could hide in plain sight...not so much anymore, don't have the energy and one job brings hopelessness because the management is f*d...too bad, I still see such potential for good work there but I've been around too long to think it will change. I need a break. I need to make things, move, and get rid of this box of rain (gratis g dead)----
If I don't make progress in the next couple of years, I think I have decided, I really am just going to abandon the place and go-------------the thought of running away lifts my spirits---------------I remember things I have done and recall I did spend some lovely days off in the woods alone last summer and some fun times in nyc (grew up around there) in the past few years with friends----and daughter---
And, as hankster says, life wants to live------I wonder what it is that wants to spiral down... (like hankster, i began as, i thought, pretty happy and full of energy and plans and was struck down suddenly late teens/early twenties----almost got back out again and then...I don't recognize me sometimes----it was also a long time ago and there was little information and less than little help (and I did move to a rural area)---I remember searching books looking to find out "what is wrong with me?"---I like to think it at least made me a more realistically compassionate person who learned that life was not easy---not sure I'm grateful that it brought with it memories of childhood that I had completely blocked and the loss of the idea that it was "just me" that had a problem...
"...I'm blue but I won't be blue always/The sun's gonna shine in my backdoor someday...)
Blues music helps too.

[allimsaying]

You could have taken those words right out of my mouth winter4me

[Puffyprue]

Atm i am afraid to say i have no reason to go on nor a motivation to go on, iam still here simply because i just havent there yet