long tunnel

heading down that long dark tunnel again and no one knows it.The despair that the thought of hitting the bottom brings.What stops the descent?

are you on meds? if not, see a doctor asap. do you have a T? (therapist) if so, try to see the T asap.......if you feel like you might hurt yourself, please go to an ER and talk to a doctor/nurse there.......take care, pat

Thanks for replying, not on meds right now, went off anti depressant a few weeks ago.Just wanted to see how Id go without them.Just get waves of hopelessness,no motivation.wonder if there are things that could help apart from anti deppressants.

it is highly undoubtful.....did the meds help when you were on them? i don't know of very many people who can beat true depression on their own. there are herbal remedies that are tossed around by some people, but they have never worked for me........

sickntired.... Hi, I don't know if you can see me but I'm in that tunnel too. I start meds then start to get motivation and feel better and my life begins to become organized again and I think, wow, I got this licked. I normally start to feel a little better after a week on prozac even though they say it takes a full month to feel the effects and that is way I normall stop (I've quit meds a total of 3x's). Any way, my point is that, I want so badly not to need them and just when they begin to help, I get my superwoman complex and 'think' I"m ready to take on the world but I've promised myself this time, I'll only stop the meds when a professional tells me too.

Good Luck and you have a friend in the tunnel and I hope I see you on the other side someday!!

I'm on the elevated train and sometimes it goes into a dark tunnel. It's kind of scary 'cause it gets real dark inside the train car. Sometimes the train will even stop and I'll be stuck inside of there with the doors locked. This is not where I want to be. But what can I do? I'm anxious, sad, worried and mad. I just want to get out of there. I read the graffiti on the tunnel walls and look around at the other passengers on the train who seem to be just as miserable as I feel. Somehow it's comforting to have them there and maybe once in awhile another passenger will look back at me and smile weakly as if to say "It's okay, we're in this together" and I have to smile back.
It seems like forever and it feels like I'm going to crack up if the train doesn't start moving soon. But it doesn't start to move again. And I don't crack up. I begin to think about what other circumstances I could be here in the train car - stuck inside this dark tunnel under. There are so many possibilities. A terror attack-a power outage-a hijacking, a fire... and I'm a little thankful that the train is probably just waiting for the right signals from the control center to proceed. I feel a little fortunate.
I begin to accept that I'll be here for awhile and begin to read a discarded newspaper left behind by another passenger. I may even strike up a conversation with another passenger who's sitting in front or behind me.
And after awhile I forget that I'm in a train car, I forget that I don't want to be there and I forget that I'm stuck in a tunnel. It all happens so gradually that I hadn't even noticed I had forgotten about all of it until the train begins to move again. "yay!" I say to myself and I antisipate seeing the light of day as we rickety through the tunnel.
"Ahhhh" there's the sunshine and the metro sky line. Life is good.
But...what is this? Oh nooooooo, another tunnel? We're headed towards another tunnel!!!!! How long is this tunnel and will we get stuck in this one too?
(((((((sickntired))))))) I look over to you and smile weakly.

sickntired, i understand your troubles at the moment, the tunnel can be very dark and scary most of the time.

in reply to what pat (fayerody) said, i manged to get through my depression without help from medication, not initially though - they put me in hospital so i decided to stop taking them. they didnt help me at all when i was on them so i didnt lose anything by quitting. but the only thing i used to get through everything was by seeing a councillor for 50 mins once a week, thats all. so it is possible to pull through.

the thing you need to remember sickntired, is that there is another end to the tunnel, and when you leave the tunnel at the other end there is daylight and warmth waiting for you, just go along with it, and let your mind recover naturally, obvioulsy with the help of meds or/and councillors.

i wish you all the luck in the world, and i want you to know we are all here with you, taking every step you take with you through this tunnel, please, dont feel alone because whilst you have this site, you wont be alone.

take care and i will speak to you soon my friend.

A Big thankyou to all those who replied to me.It did make me feel more positive.I decided to go back on the antidepressant and now I will wait quietly for that dreadful feeling of being stuck in concrete to lift.I hate the fact that this illness rules my life, or seems to.It robs me of sponteniety and enjoying the small things.Sometimes it feels like things will never improve,but I still have hope that it will.I find the lack of motivation the most destructive part of the whole thing.I feel like Im not only hurting myself but those people important to me aswell.Hoping to pull myself out of the bog little by little,so thankyou all for caring enough to write to me.Best wishes to you all.

(((((sickntired)))))))

i identified with you when you said no one knew you were in the tunnel.

why do we go to so much effort to hide our depression from those closest to us?

surely this is a symptom, like isolating (my personal favorite) or sleeping too much.

right now, i am tired of depression because it's so hard to tell depression's symptoms - from drug side effects - from what can be just daily annoyances - from personality quirks.

it's exhausting.