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  #1  
Old Apr 29, 2013, 06:49 PM
txgirl55's Avatar
txgirl55 txgirl55 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 8
So I am finally deciding to get some help. I have been dealing with depression, anxiety, stress all on my own for the last 5 years. I have a great poker face, and I just choose to keep everything inside. I just relocated to another state with my parents. I left, because I thought this was going to be a fresh start. I was going to find a better job, with better pay. Finally start saving up to be on my own. Well, turns out, I am miserable. Am I not giving it enough time? I cry almost everyday because I am nothing. I have nothing going for me. I try and work out, but I can't even stand to look at myself for more than a minute. I am not motivated for anything. I am sad all the time, and worst part is I can't talk to my parents about it. I am scared of talking to them about anything. All they do is laugh at me. They don't believe in me. I worry about what other people think, it stresses me out. I don't know how to be grateful for anything. I don't know how to stop all these crazy feelings inside of me. I have never felt this alone. The last time I felt really really alone, was when I was 5 years old. I am 24 now, and I am feeling like a confused, scared, little girl.

What do i do? I feel like giving up everyday. Because there is no point. I have no idea why I am on this planet. Every day just sucks.
Hugs from:
Anonymous37781, bharani1008, Ganymede00, gracez, sophie7

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  #2  
Old Apr 29, 2013, 11:30 PM
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Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49,212
I am so sorry you are going through this experience. Yes, I agree that it sounds like depression has gotten a hold on you. I suggest you talk to your school counselor, and even say, if need be, that your parents aren't taking your problems seriously.

Moving is a major stressor, and I wouldn't be surprised if things get better with time. However, in the meantime, you do need some help with your negative thoughts about yourself and your sadness.
  #3  
Old Apr 30, 2013, 01:13 AM
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bharani1008 bharani1008 is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2012
Location: India
Posts: 565
I'm so sorry you are going through this hard time. I am happy that you are going to seek help. that's such good news. Struggling 5 years all alone-- so difficult.
It's so much better when you get some help and support. See a professional and get treatment. But post on this forum also.Most of us have been through similar feelings and we can truly relate and understand. When you express yourself to others who have similar experiences it opens a whole world of belonging and something inside just softens and you relax a little, you feel a little love, you experience a tiny glow of joy.
Let us know how you go on
  #4  
Old Apr 30, 2013, 09:21 AM
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Leed Leed is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
You've been suffering a very long time with depression, and not it's gotten serious. I wholeheartedly agree that seeing a therapist is a good idea. Obviously, you won't get better overnight as you didn't get this "sick" overnight either. It may take some time, but you'll make progress soon.

I'm sure your doctor can refer you to a good therapist -- he will know who is the best to go to. And he can perhaps get you in sooner than you could by yourself.

I've been thru therapy, and it was the best give I've ever given myself. I'm so glad I went thru therapy as we discovered issues that were bothering me that I wasn't even aware of. I wish you the very best -- I hope you'll keep us informed as to your progress! And keep posting here too -- this is a great place to vent while in therapy. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee
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The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield
  #5  
Old Apr 30, 2013, 08:16 PM
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sophie7 sophie7 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Posts: 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by txgirl55 View Post
So I am finally deciding to get some help. I have been dealing with depression, anxiety, stress all on my own for the last 5 years. I have a great poker face, and I just choose to keep everything inside. I just relocated to another state with my parents. I left, because I thought this was going to be a fresh start. I was going to find a better job, with better pay. Finally start saving up to be on my own. Well, turns out, I am miserable. Am I not giving it enough time? I cry almost everyday because I am nothing. I have nothing going for me. I try and work out, but I can't even stand to look at myself for more than a minute. I am not motivated for anything. I am sad all the time, and worst part is I can't talk to my parents about it. I am scared of talking to them about anything. All they do is laugh at me. They don't believe in me. I worry about what other people think, it stresses me out. I don't know how to be grateful for anything. I don't know how to stop all these crazy feelings inside of me. I have never felt this alone. The last time I felt really really alone, was when I was 5 years old. I am 24 now, and I am feeling like a confused, scared, little girl.

What do i do? I feel like giving up everyday. Because there is no point. I have no idea why I am on this planet. Every day just sucks.
You`ve already taken a big step by seeking help..
I can understand how you are feeling I am 23 and I suppress my depression and anxiety too and that doesn`t make it go away. I feel as vulnerable too It causes a lot of stress and my skin reacts to it too but I`ve been thinking about going for counselling too lately. Also I get the shakes when I feel intimidated or I am uneasy in social situations which makes things embarrassing for me at times.I tend to ruminate a lot about my unpleasant feelings which just makes me sink in deeper, so I try to focus on the little things that go right which can help a bit. I think it will help to see a T and it`s always worth the try. It can change your perspective of things and regulate your emotions. We all want to feel better
I know how it hurts to be rebuffed by people who are supposed to give you support especially if they are close ones. It causes a deeper wound. I got my share of that too but now I tend go towards those who understand and care for me like I care for them. Sometimes your parents do care but they have no understanding and they don`t see how their reactions can hurt you even when it`s very obvious..And given that your parents laugh at you when you confide in them , it affects how you relate to others as you fear the same reaction from others. But some people really do care and want to help out.
Take care
  #6  
Old May 01, 2013, 03:19 AM
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txgirl55 txgirl55 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 8
Thank you guys for your response. Every day I just want to be okay, I didn't think I was in this deep. I will continue to post, I feel you guys/girls can be of great use to me. I just don't want to feel lonely. It sucks not having someone to talk to everyday.
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