Negativity........ How Do We Get Rid Of It???

Hi All,
I have a question to ask.....
I am a person with little to no self esteem in myself!!
How do I begin to get rid of the negativity that consumes me????
I hate myself, I hate the way I look, I always feel like I am to blame for things going badly in my life, I always feel I can never do anything right???

How do I begin to believe in myself???
I do look in the mirror & try to find something about me that I love - but most of the time I don't believe it.

I am a loving person, but love my family & friends more than I love myself!!!

Well, I guess I would start by not looking in the mirror to find something you like about yourself, if that's really distressing for you.

I realize you have an eating disorder, so this might be a little.....inappropriate? But how about your wrists or ankles being something you like? I've always wanted nice, delicate ankles, but it's not going to happen. I like my shoulders and collarbones, and the way my biceps feel when I touch them though. Not exactly things you think of as being positive attributes.

This is a hard one. I think you named one thing you like about you , that being you are loving. IMO that beats beauty hands down. I am thinking maybe you could keep a journal of what others say about you that is positive. Also, on days you see something you like about you write it down. It may be they all match and that you have a distorted image of yourself? Then you would have these facts in front of you on paper to back the truth. That may be a lame idea but it may be worth a shot. Do keep in mind models can pick themselves apart too.

What good advice! What worked for me was a wonderful book called " Beauty For Ashes" by Joyce Meyer. She was abused in her childhood and she is a preacher. Her writing is very down to earth and REAL!

I have never been one to open up and talk aloud about my feelings or what i have experienced. I have always benefited most from self help books like hers, most especially christian ones.

You must find a way to ignore that tape recorder in your mind telling you every mean, hurtful thing somebody had to say to you about you...erase it would be wonderful...

You are here for a reason and I know it isn't so you can hate what you see when you look into the mirror....

look inside yourself without the mirror and no doubt you will see a kind, loving, beautiful spirit!

Thank you all for your inspiring posts.

I do think that keeping a journal of all the nice things said about me would be of great benefit to me, coz when the negative kicks in I can read that journal & know that someone actually said that about me!!

Faith, you sound like a beautiful person, thank you!!

Flinty

I have me a strengths list that I used to carry around with me. It is now falling a part. So, I have to give up keeping it with me. But, I like the idea of making note of when others complement you.
Everyone has good qualities. So, I know that you do to. I think being a loving person is a very wonderful thing. As for looks, I would hesitate to encourage you to look at yourself that way. Everything about my body is ugly. But, I am smart. So, it is okey for me to be unattractive. If you are unattractive, that's okey. I read a book that suggests that a person can go out and look at other people. What do you see? How many of them are too fat? If you look at the other people and really see them, you will find that they are not gorgeous either (some are but many people are not.) Most people have something on their bodies that is unattractive.

I think You could also journel all Your Good things and another one for everything else
I also have troubles with my self essteem I love ppl. more then myself I have kept a journlel since before I came to tne states all of My journels are in spanish I was 8 years old when I started keeping a journel bad things was happing to me then I learnened to keep my head up.
pm if you want please feel free I'm better now and glad.
Crista

You sound just like me here.I just joined a few days ago & now I can't seem to stay away from it.This web site has so much info.I really thought I was the only one who has Bipolar2/Manic Depression.I was wrong.
Now , about you feeling very negative not only about yourself but everything else..............am I right? I feel the same excat way about myself & others. I don't want to feel like this @ all becuz it takes a toll/strain not only on me but home here with my daughter whom I love very,very,much!! Without her....................well, I know I wouldn't be able to go on living.
My whole life was a pure living hell ( and sometimes still is ) not know that I had: Serve Depression,PTSD,ADHD,Panic Attacks. But now am on medication for it. It helps....but my HIGHS/LOWS along with those awful MOOD SWINGS still come every now & then. We are all in the same boat & now I don't feel that much alone now.

Hi all,

Thanks for all the replies to this post.
I am doing well at the moment (during one of my up times), but feeling wary about feeling so good....
I have decided that I will take one day at a time & use the most I can out of this up time!!!

Take care of yourselves.
Flinty

Flinty.... Glad to hear you are feeling better! Remember.. the tape has been erased... you DO deserve to feel good...

You DO deserve happiness... don't listen to that old recording in your head....

When you look into that mirror.. say to yourself.. "What a wonderful day I am going to have.. because I DESERVE IT!"

Its hard to do that some days.. but you have to try and do it when you begin to feel that pull towards the familiar old blah feeling.....

The way I see it.. the devil likes nothing better than to steal our joy and he will turn us against ourselves to do just that!

Stay strong!

Rewrite your negatives into positives. I don't like my math homework, to my homework today is difficult but I know that once I am through it will feel so good to be finished. Something like that. It has to be believable, not my homework is fun. That comes in time.

I have found that if I get a new hobby, or take a course, my mind becomes occupied with the new adventure and next thing I know, I'm congradulating myself for doing something I didn't know I could and when I look in the mirror, I don't see what I dislike. I just see me.

I've been in T for a month now and one thing I've realized is that I'm always hard on myself. During each disucssion, she points out when and how I put myself down. Then she said something that struck me.

She was asking for me to talk about my strenghts. The only thing that came to mind is that I am a hard worker, AT WORK. Then I went into 'Now I'm not working and just going to school and things are just out of control, blah, blah, blah'. Then she said, 'Well, being a hard working is a strength. Plus the fact that you've made the choice to come here and change the 'cycle', that is a strength.'

Ok, now that I've typed my say, it doesn't seem to hold the weight that I felt as I listened to my T but just the fact they you reconize what you feel is an issue and are trying to learn new ways to think or change- that is an awesome thing. You are smart and courageous!!!!

I like you and I don't even know you. Get to the bascis don't make it complicated. I think that the basics are that you are a beautiful human being that hasn't been told that enough. Everyone has self image issues, I dislike my feet, but i am so thankful for them, because i can walk and see the world. I dislike my graying hair, but i am so thankful that I am not going bald. So take everything that bothers you about yourself and find at least on positive thing about it and be thankful for it. The only thing you will have your entire life is yourself, so love yourself so that you can love others. Jessica