[xrainstormx]

It has been a while since I have been on. I have been trying to keep busy. I feel like that doesn't even work though. I fee lke I am just covering up what will eventually come out anyway. I cannot escape it. It is my life. Sadness all the time. I wish it wasn't like this but it is me. I feel like I shouldn't even right. it doesn't help anyways. I mean the input people give me is good but I don't feel like anything is off my chest. Everything will be there forever.

[Rhapsody]

((( HUGS )))) - I understand..... I was like that for twenty long years, but I do laugh more often now and I feel it from with in my soul.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[(JD)]

Awww not so... that's your depression telling you a lie... it tells all of us that lie... but it isn't true... reach out to help... things can change.

[xrainstormx]

Thank you. I would love to laugh more and feel less.

[xrainstormx]

I know you said it is just the depression talking but I always feel like this. Like I will be this way forever and there is no way out. I don't like this feeling at all!!!!!!!! I would love to be happy all day just once.

[(JD)]

Ok, I do understand. And btw, I didn't say it is 'just' depression talking, as depression is a very strong illness. Depression makes us feel there is no hope, that we will feel this way forever, we have always felt this way, nothing has changed, nothing will change... but it isn't true especially if you are working on changing it... even while you don't believe things will get better... if you take the steps to feel better, things will begin to.

No, you won't wake one day and feel wonderful and happy! It didn't take overnight for you to fall into the darkness of depression, it takes time for you to come out of that darkness. Medicines help many ppl do this.. psychotherapy also helps.

Keep that thought of one day being happy again.. it's a reachable goal.

[xrainstormx]

Thank you. Everything you said makes sense. It also depresses me also. I just want so bad to feel happy. I know it won't come over night. I have been trying really trying. Everyone sayd well you got to try harder. It isn't that easy. I don't know how much more I can try. I feel like I can't do anything right. Like everyone judges me. Even though they say they don't you know it is in the back of there minds. I don't like dealing with this and I don't want to. I feel bad for being me. Like nobody wants me around. That is my life though. I am probaby some screw up that never shouldn't happened. I really wish I could describe the pain I am in better but I can't. I look for that bright side but I can't see it. I hate everything. I feel bad beause I am venting. I don't want to say the wrong thing. I just want to make everyone happy. I can't deal with school, my family, work, and just everything. The one escape I have is my boyfriend. I know that I can't rely on only him and I know he doesn't want me to only rely on him. I don't know what else I have. I am sacred and confused. I am hurting and stressed. My world is spinning and I can't stop it. I feel like I am screaming so loud but no one can here me. My thoughts are all messed up and I don't know if they are right. I just dont know anymore...................I can't do anything right.

[Rebound]

It's hard when you are feeling really down, but it's important to try to remember that every effort you make is a victory.

No one but you knows the true extent of that victory, so please try not to let yourself be brought down by the faulty judgement of others. Everyday you overcome your anxiety and depression to carry on with things is an accomplishment of which you may be proud. It may not seem like it right now. I know I have been pretty much inconsolable on occasion. But things will get better, and when they do, you will be glad to have perservered and you will be able to see how far you have come.

Best of luck.