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#601
Jul 11, 2013, 10:38 AM
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tired. physically and mentally.
 not looking forward to seeing pdoc and T.
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"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
 allimsaying, Bark, davmid, lindammarie, tokiwartooth, whimsygirl
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#602
Jul 11, 2013, 11:07 AM
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I am glad tomorrow is Friday. I wish today was Friday.
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| allimsaying, davmid, lindammarie
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#603
Jul 11, 2013, 11:19 AM
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I really need to put myself together, get dressed and get out of my apartment. I need to take the trash out, get the mail, and talk to the manager...why is that so hard to do? I hate this whether, it's either muggy w/ high humidity and mold or triple digits! Arrww!
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| allimsaying, Anonymous53876, Bark, davmid, happy 2 b here, herethennow, lindammarie
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#604
Jul 11, 2013, 06:36 PM
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I had an okay day today. Actually, much better than usual. I'm extremely busy at work and I think that helps.
Not as good now that I'm home and alone.
__________________
"Bad things happen to us all the time. But we must keep living. We're just people. It's what we must do." - My Friend Pedro “Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ― Dr. Seuss |
| allimsaying, Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie
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 Bark
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#605
Jul 11, 2013, 07:12 PM
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Well I did everything but take the trash out!
 There is no place close to park right now and I can't carry it that far, so next time I see a space open up I need to move my car closer. To stay here I need to get a copy of my benefits award but the online form told me my name didn't match my SS number?  Guess I'll have to sit on the phone all day tomorrow.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| allimsaying, Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie
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| Bark
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#606
Jul 11, 2013, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
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| allimsaying
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#607
Jul 12, 2013, 06:25 AM
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Its nothing but exuberance at the moment because in 35 minutes I am officially on
VACATION  
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| allimsaying, lindammarie, Nammu
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| Bark
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#608
Jul 12, 2013, 07:52 AM
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I want some time alone so I can have a complete meltdown, but there is always people around me. I really wish I was seeing my therapist today instead of monday. I have something really important to talk about and am scared I will chicken out. Existance sucks.
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| allimsaying, Bark, lindammarie
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#609
Jul 12, 2013, 09:02 AM
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I'm feeling anxious for some reason today. I have this impending sense of doom. Like the **** is gonna hit the fan or something, but there's nothing wrong!
__________________
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| Bark, lindammarie, Marla500, Nammu
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#610
Jul 12, 2013, 01:56 PM
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i don't know whether i can survive till the next T appt without si. i'm really at breaking point and i can feel a crisis coming. and as usual, i don't know why.
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
| Bark, lindammarie, Marla500
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#613
Jul 12, 2013, 07:18 PM
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I feel like I've been going a million miles an hour lately and I haven't been able to relax.
I'm still looking for places to live. I have to move by the end of the month. Work has been incredibly busy, and I have interviews for the positions I applied to next week. My brother is getting married next Sunday and I'm in the wedding. There's a quadrillion (I'm estimating) things to do from now until then. (Tomorrow is the bachelorette party and I have yet to buy anything for it) My grandma had to go to the hospital this week but she's out now. But when I wasn't at work I was with her and my mom to keep her company. Having Alzheimer's makes new environments especially frightening, so she needs a familiar face around. I'm not complaining, I'm just tired. So... hello to the anxiety! I just want to go to sleep and be left alone for a while. If my head doesn't explode by the end of the month I'll be surprised. I hope everyone else is doing well though. 
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| Bark, gracez, Grey Matter, lindammarie, Marla500
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| Bark
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#614
Jul 12, 2013, 07:40 PM
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Today started off on a high. I had a very successful interview, and I felt confident and truly proud of myself that I verbally presented myself calmly and properly.
It began to sink a bit when friends of mine decided to openly judge my own judgement among themselves. It fell lower when a certain poster here told me I am lacking reading comprehension skills. Considering I was a bullied dyslexic as a kid, it's triggered self hate and loathing. So that's nice.
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“You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.”. |
| Bark, herethennow, lindammarie, Marla500, Nammu, PinesofRome, tigerlily84
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#615
Jul 12, 2013, 09:02 PM
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Hi Gray,
Well, I can tell from your writing that you write very intelligently, and good reading comprehension is essential for coherent writing, so I hope you will not let another person's comments ruin your day. I definitely know how it is; sometimes, someone will say something that will have me fuming, but then, I come to the realization that the comment was invalid, & I am okay; no damage done. Unfortunately, it does not always work so smoothly. Anyhow, hope things are going better for you now, Pines of Rome Last edited by PinesofRome; Jul 12, 2013 at 09:08 PM. Reason: Changed name |
| Grey Matter, lindammarie
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| Bark, Grey Matter, lindammarie, Nammu
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#616
Jul 12, 2013, 09:35 PM
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Well, I am now registered for classes at my new school and have dropped all my classes from my old school. Still have a few more things to do to officially withdraw, but I'm glad to have registration over with.
Still feeling really down right now though Had a crying spell for the first time in several weeks. Just worrying that things won't be any different at all once I'm at the new school...
__________________
"The rain keeps crawling down the glass. The good times never seem to last. Close your eyes and let the thought pass."
'Prodigal' by Porcupine Tree  |
| Bark, Grey Matter, lindammarie, Nammu
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| Bark
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#617
Jul 12, 2013, 11:27 PM
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It was a slow day at work, until the last hour of the day. I got exhausted from the boredom all day and then it gets very busy at the last hour! Well, at least the weekend is here.
Feeling like I've been in a social slump lately. Of course, that's nothing new. It's just that it's gone from fairly small to almost nothing now all of a sudden. There had been quite a few people I write to but now I just hear from one guy and that's it. Maybe it will pick up again to fairly small! It's very warm tonight outside and it seems like it's noisy. That's why I hate this time of year. |
| Bark, lindammarie
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#618
Jul 12, 2013, 11:30 PM
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Feeling very apathetic. As though I can't even be bothered to try to care about anything.
Eh.
__________________
Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
| Bark, gracez, Grey Matter, lindammarie, tigerlily84
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#620
Jul 13, 2013, 12:37 PM
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I'm down today. Like really really down...
__________________
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| Bark, gracez, Grey Matter, herethennow, lindammarie, PinesofRome
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#621
Jul 13, 2013, 01:12 PM
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the days where you don't know what you're feeling? i'm having one now.
but the irony is that i do feel some despair and emptiness.
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
| Anonymous53876, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84
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#623
Jul 13, 2013, 06:36 PM
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A very busy day but an empty one. Just did a lot of domestic stuff for today and shopping. Did not get together with anyone today and phone calls were not very lengthy. Also it seemed like it was a kind of day of getting detours. The little things that I can count on to make me feel better just didn't happen as I expected! So I hope that tomorrow will be a better day than today.
Tomorrow I've decided to try another church. The regular Pastor at where I have been going is out for a while. But I have been wanting to phase out where I have been going. I'm connecting not very well with others. I only have one friend but I feel like we're fading away. As far as going to a good church goes, it's been decades since I went to a church that I really liked a lot. Last edited by Anonymous41141; Jul 13, 2013 at 10:23 PM. |
| Bark, lindammarie
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#624
Jul 13, 2013, 07:42 PM
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Been feeling pretty down lately
I guess that now that I'm all registered and have all my classes scheduled at my new school the only thought I can focus on is what if this doesn't work out how I want it to?I also worry that my parents are going to remain way too clingy even after I leave. They know that I want to get a bit further away from them and be more independent, but they're already talking about trying to figure out how often they're going to visit me/I them. They were saying maybe once a month which, to be honest, still sounds like a bit too much for me. Also, they were talking about what we were going to do for my birthday. My dad was saying that my birthday was on a Saturday this year, so it would be easy for us to do something on my actual birthday. Thing is this will be my 21st. I'm pretty sure I WON'T want to hang out with my parents for that -_-. Ugh I feel like a spoiled child for thinking like that but I mean, come on...College, 21st birthday...Who WOULD want to be with their parents for that?
__________________
"The rain keeps crawling down the glass. The good times never seem to last. Close your eyes and let the thought pass."
'Prodigal' by Porcupine Tree |
| Bark, herethennow, lindammarie
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#625
Jul 13, 2013, 08:12 PM
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I could use someone to talk atm
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| Anonymous53876, Bark, herethennow, lindammarie
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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