[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by Bark

Amazingly I got extensions on my papers. Now I have one due a week. Much more manageable.

But now I'm living at home... with my sister driving me crazy. I have such a short fuse with her. I try, but she just pushes all my triggers. I tell myself she can't help it, she has a problem... but it's just so incredibly difficult. It's a source of stress I can't do much about, except try, try again.

Otherwise, I'm not feeling depressed, thankfully. I hope she's not wearing me down, though.

Bark! I've missed seeing you on here!

Yeah my family pushed my buttons too. After you've been away it's really difficult to adjust to being home again. Take care of yourself. Is there any way you can leave the house to have some time to yourself like going to the movies or something? Even taking a walk would help. Lol I shoul take my own advice!

Glad you were able to get extensions on your papers.

[Nammu]

OK....... can someone explain to me why the antibiotics and sleeping are making me sicker? The sinus injection seems to be spreading to my chest. At least my face looks normal again, thats a relief. Talked to the doc about re-starting therapy & finding a group, they weren't much help, so I don't know......right now I'm so lethargic I don't really care. I feel really selfish & into myself.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by davmid

I can't understand why some days I wake up crying. It would be great if I could just get it all out right then and go about my day. It never seems to work out that way.

It's possible that's the time when your levels of Serotonin and ~or Norepinephrine are lower. This all varies from person to person, and also can shift with time during one person's life. There are home lab tests that can be done, giving the treating doctor so much more information as to what meds might be more effective, what supplements might add to a positive result, when they should be taken, etc, and frankly I have never been able to figure out why the hell more doctors don't use them....although I have a feeling it probably has something to do with money . I have an awesome doctor and we used to do these tests periodically, but unfortunately without being able to afford health insurance any more I just can't afford them. And btw it's not that they're all that expensive, but just that times are really tight here. I wish you the very best of luck with those morning tears And just one more thing I have discovered somewhere in my reading....statistically early mornings are the worst time for a large majority of people suffering from depression. Just found that interesting, as it has been the case with me for a long time. Big Hug ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by sidestepper

OK....... can someone explain to me why the antibiotics and sleeping are making me sicker? The sinus injection seems to be spreading to my chest. At least my face looks normal again, thats a relief. Talked to the doc about re-starting therapy & finding a group, they weren't much help, so I don't know......right now I'm so lethargic I don't really care. I feel really selfish & into myself.

Hi sidestepper....So sorry things seem to be going in the wrong direction for you Sending good thoughts and hugs ~whimsy

Migraine blind spots... yeah lets start this day off with a bang

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by George H.

Migraine blind spots... yeah lets start this day off with a bang

I get those too. Ugh. Hope things get better asap ~whimsy

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

Bark! I've missed seeing you on here!

Me too...

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by gracez

Why should I get up and start the day? There's nothing ahead but more pain. I wish I could stay unconscious.

Originally Posted by tigersassy

I'm kindda blah today. Not up but not low like I have been. Slept too long but when I woke up really early had a headache so went back to bed. Upped to 20 mgs of viibryd last night. My nurse thinks I should start feeling the effects of the Med this week coming up or the next. .....

I know how that is like....to try to start a morning while being unmotivated. Hid under the blanket for all the morning more than once.

Today just forced to drag myself out of bed this morning. Buddy was asking me to get up too. Buddy has separation anxiety now.

[lindammarie]

Can't stay, but need to tell someone... We got over a foot of water in our basement & attached garage. Gasoline for the lawnmower spilled into the water. Insurance agent isn't answering calls. No one to help as we are not the only family member affected by the flash flood. I'm doing what I can, but I must be careful to not let my emotions get in the way. I am glad there are people here listening.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by lindammarie

Can't stay, but need to tell someone... We got over a foot of water in our basement & attached garage. Gasoline for the lawnmower spilled into the water. Insurance agent isn't answering calls. No one to help as we are not the only family member affected by the flash flood. I'm doing what I can, but I must be careful to not let my emotions get in the way. I am glad there are people here listening.

Sending good thoughts lindammarie Good luck with everything....maybe you could just try and take it one little breath at a time ~whimsy

[phaset]

I'm in a bad mood today... Anxiety kicked in while we were grocery shopping. It was hot and sunny so we went to the park, which made no impression on me either way. My wife has been asking me every couple hours what's wrong because I've been breathing deeply.

I heard from my friend who's baby was in the hospital... He's out now, but they don't know what's wrong. I was expecting worse news.

I see a lot of you aren't doing so well today either. I hope you are all feeling better now.

[tigersassy]

Its almost midnight here in the land of tig. I'm feeling bad. Anxiety attacks about money and hoping that I can still go on vacation and not wind up in the hospital before that. Why does everything have yo be about money? Grrrrrr..... I need to sleep but can't shut my mind off.

[Turtleboy]

feeling a bit anxious today

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Its almost midnight here in the land of tig. I'm feeling bad. Anxiety attacks about money and hoping that I can still go on vacation and not wind up in the hospital before that. Why does everything have yo be about money? Grrrrrr..... I need to sleep but can't shut my mind off.

Oh those money worries, or in my case I guess I'd call them "lack of money worries" and the resulting anxiety, and all that....ugh. Me too. And it's not just us....this is one of the main stressors for so many. Hope things get better for you. Sending good thoughts ~whimsy

[shortandcute]

I have a bad headache--I feel like I want to explode!!!My house is really filthy and I need to clean it but I get tired too easy, and I'm in pain, and I feel spacey, distant, depressed and panicky.

[EllieIsALie]

Feeling so low and miserable.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Still in a crappy depressive mood. Why can't it leave me alone?!

[gracez]

Not feeling so well today, but what's new. Have urge to not really eat again and shut down. Barely slept last night.

Hugs to all

[Turtleboy]

my anxiety never lifted it just got worse, i feel like have been having a panic attack for the past 10 hours, every time i hear a sound i jump out of my skin and my mood is so low, i know i missed my meds for a few days so im telling myself it is just that, but i cant seem to stop shaking, doing everything i can to try distract myself, i hope it will be better in the morning.

[Bark]

Got a break from my sister today. Read a little, watched TV, hung out with the cats. I feel a bit guilty for it, though.

Turtleboy, it could be withdrawal effects or the original illness surfacing, or both. I remember when I went into withdrawal, I was shivering and retching, it was pretty bad. Hopefully now that you're back on your meds (I'm assuming), you'll start feeling better.

This day is only half way over now for me. Yesterday turned out to be a very nice day. Spent some time with a friend of mine, who's wife is away for the weekend on a Women's Retreat. He needed company and I needed company. So it filled in some time that would normally be a lonely time for me.

This morning I had lunch with him after church. His wife should be coming home sometime in the afternoon. It was nice having lunch with him at his place, but I missed having lunch at my place. For some reason it doesn't seem to be as nice to eat at someone else's place as it does for my place.

[Turtleboy]

Originally Posted by Bark

Got a break from my sister today. Read a little, watched TV, hung out with the cats. I feel a bit guilty for it, though.

Turtleboy, it could be withdrawal effects or the original illness surfacing, or both. I remember when I went into withdrawal, I was shivering and retching, it was pretty bad. Hopefully now that you're back on your meds (I'm assuming), you'll start feeling better.

thanks bark i'm sure i will know tomorrow

[tigersassy]

Not good...

[Clara22]

it was a sad day today. I spent the day in my room, partly because I had pain in my legs and partly because my brother spent most of the time downstairs (where my mom and I live, he lives upstairs, but has no food, etc., so he usually comes to eat, etc.) He was aggressive towards me a couple of times, that is why it was better to me to stay in my room. I cried most of the time, as I am very unhappy here and do not see a way out. Perhaps if I had a doctor it would be better.
I feel also overwhelmed, as last minute I was communicated I had to travel overseas in a few days. Unfortunately, my brother will have to come with me (I could not get a better arrangement). I am concerned because my mom cannot stay by herself and it is not being easy to find somebody to stay here with her. But, I had some good time yesterday: my primary school mates met at home. We did the meeting here because I did not want to leave my mom alone. I have not met them for years. In fact, as I gained a lot of weight in the last year, it was hard to me organize the meeting. i was not proud of my weight and I knew they will noticed it. It is the same embarrassment we feel when our hygiene is not so good because of depression. But I could overcome the feelings knowing that meeting with them will give more joy than sadness. And I did not feel embarrassed about my appearance.
In fact, I could took the decision of meeting then while in the last business trip (last month I had two long business trips, that is why I was disconnected most of the time). Being far from home, I felt much better. Returning from the last trip (last week) and facing problems again, I started to have a lot of sadness, to feel trapped and suicidal thoughts. I wanted to post something here but Internet was not working (I had arranged for technicians to come and fix some issue with cable connection while being overseas, but my brother did not allow them entering the house, so when I returned Internet was not working and because of that my work was affected and now I am paying the consequences of that). But finally I got the technicians back and could start writing and working again. In a few days of struggle I felt better, but now i feel bad again, because it is to overwhelming being here.
Sometimes, I think after the next trip, I will ask to be entered in a psychiatric facility. I am not sure they will accept me. If they do, I am not sure if they will allow me working a bit. I have no experience with this type of facilities. I know that being here at home it is not good for me, I endure for a couple of days, and then, again, and again, I go down into darkness and the feelings are being worse. OK, sorry because my narrative does not have a lot of order. I wish you all feel better and I thank you in advance for reading my message

[whimsygirl]

Hi Clara22....I am so sorry you're having such struggles, sounds like you've got a tremendous amount of things to deal with. I pray that some comfort comes to you as soon as possible. When you mentioned the possibility of entering a psychiatric facility I wondered if you are under the care of a therapist ~and or psychiatrist, as this might be necessary if it should come to this. In the meantime, sending warm thoughts and a big hug ~whimsy