[Nammu]

Scared.

[tokiwartooth]

I'm ok I guess, been having a lot of asthma lately. I get to see him tonight so that makes me happy. I was looking at all these good recipes online and I was like, gee, I have no money to buy any of those ingredients...

[davmid]

I'm doing better at work- better with communicating and more productive.

Today is 6 months from when my wife left and it still really hurts. I miss her. I cried a lot last night and was physically wrecked by the time I went to bed. It is a bit better when I spend time with someone. That's tough because I don't have friends to hang out with. My son is away until the end of July and my daughter leaves tomorrow for two weeks. I'm really nervous to be alone.

[tigersassy]

Feeling like crap. Headache stomach feels icky and I think its all psychosamatic. I know the store manager and hr manager talked to the Guy at work who verbally attacked me but I'm feeling bad about it. I hate being this way. Other than that taking a toll I'm ok. Gotta order a refill on my anxiety meds.

[Nammu]

My stomach should settle down now & the anxiety should also go down maybe now I can get some sleep. I just talked to my HUD case worker and I'm staying here one more year, there is just no way I can pack this place up in a month w/ my back the way it is and no car. I'm not taking everything but still it has to go to the dump or goodwill as big items are not allowed in the dumpster here. Hmm with the money I have saved up maybe I can find a good lap top or pad to replace this one? It keeps freezing up despite computer checks and emptying as much memory as I could.

[Bark]

Checked in with my counsellor today, which was nice. We were supposed to do a memory assessment but the test is missing a section, so we had to leave it for another day. Talked a bit about how I was doing and all, my mood being more stable... he said the borderline disappeared; exactly what I thought. All those borderline traits my psychiatrist saw in me... where are they now? I told him.... Anyway, I mentioned how I get the thought sometimes of stopping my meds, and he pretty much point-blank said no. I brought up the reasons I shouldn't and he agreed. It's just a random thought I get in my head, almost like I miss the ups and downs. My mood might be stable, but my life is anything but, and having at least some certainty is something I need... not to mention one less problem to worry about.

Wondering about some of the oldies on this thread... where are y'all? I don't want to say names in case I forget one (like the incredibly embarassing moment earlier when I introduced myself to someone I'd met twice prior... and couldn't remember... I remembered later, though), but big hugs from me to you guys and I hope you'll pass by, if only for a moment. How are you guys doing? Any big changes? One thing I hate about moving is losing contact with people... I don't like it when I lose contact online, either. And then I forget how I met people and what we used to talk about and... argh!

[Nammu]

Hey Bark , it's nice to see you doing so well. I was going to move but have decided to stay one more year. So now I gotta find a cheap ticket to visit my family. My daughter just had her 30th birthday, I think I feel older when she has birthdays than I do when I have a B-day. When I'm in a crisis I too get those traits but only when I'm in a crisis so I've been told it's not a personality disorder just a crisis disorder! I say you would have traits too if you were having a tick up in your mental health life.

I've been wondering where everyone is too. I've been having computer problems, I get frozen out for hours. But today it's working well. I'm not clicking on the radio or youtube so maybe thats why.

[lindammarie]

My son came over last night and that made me feel better. The thought that he just wanted me to fix him something to eat kept going through my mind, but I tried to talk myself out of it.

I saw my respiratory doctor today and will see a podiatrist tomorrow. Saw my family doctor yesterday. That's $75 plus the testing bills we be a lot more... My husband needed money today, too. He said he'll get it back to me tomorrow and I'll have to rush it to the bank before another medical bill is withdrawn automatically tomorrow.

Tell me again what's so horrible about universal healthcare???

Up, feeling really good (:

[davmid]

I got gas before the light came on!

[bluedolphin92]

Campus tour yesterday went well. I'll be going back over there in order to go to orientation this Friday This is all happening so fast, but I need to get it over with. The orientation session starts at 7:15, so I'll be staying in a hotel the night before since I'd rather not have to leave home at 4:30 in the morning. This will be my first time staying in a hotel alone. I'm a bit nervous, but also really excited.

I was thinking I could go over there Thursday afternoon and try and check out some apartments in the area. The only dorm with spaces left is one of the older dorms. No A/C, communal bathrooms, freshmen everywhere...I'd rather not go that route. I'm hoping to find a nice one bedroom, no roommates to deal with.

Still have to figure out how to officially drop out of my old school (I feel comfortable calling it that now). I e-mailed the registrar's office so hopefully I get a response.

Ups
Time with my daughter.
Downs
I am broke, no gas, no credit, no bull.
How did I get here?!?!?

[phaset]

Wow, lots of people seem to be doing good. That's awesome.

I'm feeling kind of mixed right now. Anxious, but not hurting too bad.

bluedolphin, living in a dorm isn't for everyone but for me it was helpful, even as an introverted depressive. I never would have chosen to live in a dorm like the one you are describing, but by chance thats where I wound up. I know you are seeing living in that older dorm as a bad thing, but I'm sure it has a great community that you would be automatically part of. Having a minimal hassle guarenteed 3 meals a day was also a huge plus.

Living off campus has it's advantages too. I did that my third year. I didn't take care of myself very well, but having my own space and privacy was nice.

Either way, you are in for an adventure.

[herethennow]

trying my best today.

[whimsygirl]

Just wanted to say "hi" to everyone, as I haven't been here in a while. In a way I feel funny even writing that, as it seems to imply some kind of self-importance on my part, but guess I'll risk it Anyway, hope everyone is doing as well as possible, or at the very least having good moments. Life for me lately has been ridiculous....honestly I don't understand how I'm still alive and kicking, I feel like maybe a little Angel has landed on my shoulder and is helping me out. Hmm. I've been dealing with a case of identity theft, horrible migraines daily, my eBay sales (my only income) being the worst I've ever seen in 10 years, infected gums ever since my root canal months ago, and a lot of other stuff all in the negative category. Ugh. trying to get ready to have a huge yard sale soon, and regarding that it's "one step forward, two steps back". Oh well, as they say....that's life. Sure could use a break though. Sending good thoughts to everyone ~whimsy

[Clara22]

Feeling overwhelmed and tired, I may have to travel again and I did not want to. i am happy my job is going to end in September

I don't know how to help myself. I'm so alone and depressed. I have no friends and I cant bear this day after day being by myself.

(((kelly4519))) I am here for ya if you need me!

I have been doing ok despite the fact that my ex once again took to yelling at me.
I asked her a simple question but it infuriated her since we just talked about it.
Wanna know how someone REALLY feels about you??? Just ask them a stupid question about something mundane and when they rip you to shreds....well you know next time they are nice they are full of horse poo!
I reached out on a dating site and tried to initiate a relationship and got told to go fly a kite after she found out that the next 2 weeks of my life were already booked up, mostly with my daughter. WTF do people want anyway?!?
I think I need to have my head examined because I am just about desperate for a relationship and I already know that all I am gonna do is let someone else down.
I should just buy a real doll and say the heck with it...LOL

[bluedolphin92]

@phaset. The thing is that I'm transferring in from another school, so this will be my 3rd year as a college student. I'd rather not live with a bunch of kids that just got out of high school when I myself will be old enough to drink in October. If I absolutely can't find an apartment near campus I guess I could live with it, but I'd rather not.

Anyway, today was more or less the same as usual. All this transferring business has been a good distraction so I've been better than I was a few weeks ago, though I still worry that things won't be any better for me at this new school =/

[lindammarie]

Went to podiatrist today. He yanked on one of my 2 broken toes TWICE! Bad part is that it didn't work. He said he'd leave it alone unless I continue having pain. Then he'd consider surgery.

And I thought "they" couldn't do anything about broken toes. I learned "they" can. It's called torture!

I'm hoping my legs don't cramp tonight. I'd really like to sleep all the way through...

Down, way down.

[feary]

Divorce was the biggest mistake of my life. It has been 5 years now and I am friendless, partnerless, abandoned by family, and my kids are miserable and dysfunctional. Meanwhile my drug addicted, alcoholic, smoking chimney, abusive ex is living it up.

He has tons of friends, lives a lavish life, enjoys with the kids, his family adores him and he has everything.

I don't get it.

[MikkiM89]

That's wonderful! Isn't it amazing that we can so appreciate the feeling of being happy? Who knew that it was such an elusive thing?!? It's something I took for granted for so long. Now I don't feel interested by much, and I have to fake it for my family. The other day I cleaned and organized my son's room, and I was surprised how good it made me feel...better than I had in such a long time...and it was WORK! I wonder if it's because I actually felt purpose, accomplishment...I don't know. Maybe I should clean and reorganize the whole house now!! But truly, it took me by surprise, the first feeling of happiness in a long time.

Up, bum bum bum.

I dont know if this is up or down....
But I damn sure hate it when someone is mad at you for something they say you said but then they wont tell you what it is you said.
And I am the one with all the issues?!? LOL
This is when you do what the song says....Breathe in breathe out, move on.