[doggiedo]

I'm having a really rough time. My finances are really really tight. I'm going to have to figure something out bc I am beyond broke. Although not in debt, which I guess is good. I had to ask my parents for a little bit of help. They offered as much as I need, which is super nice and wonderfully helpful, but I feel like a failure. I always rely on them.

Had I not made a bad decision putting money into a house that my ex got in the divorce, I'd have plenty. I got screwed and I am kicking myself, years later, I lost my money and everything, the life I had, went down the tubes.

Now I'm alone, with no one in the city with me- no family and only a few friends I see a few times a year. I have a job that is challenging, but also drives me nuts. And doesn't pay enough for me to live on...and I have a masters degree for goods sake.

I have a headache, I feel so alone, and I just don't even want to exist anymore. Random- I saw a stray cat today and felt so bad for it. It just made me want to cry. The poor thing, no one to love him, or take care of him. I don't know why I feel so intensely for other animals and those who are sick or poor, but I don't give a crap about myself.

Today has been the worst day of my depression.....ever. I just can't wrap my head around why I am here and what purpose I have on this earth. It all seems so darn pointless.

[happy 2 b here]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I'm having a really rough time. My finances are really really tight. I'm going to have to figure something out bc I am beyond broke. Although not in debt, which I guess is good. I had to ask my parents for a little bit of help. They offered as much as I need, which is super nice and wonderfully helpful, but I feel like a failure. I always rely on them.

Had I not made a bad decision putting money into a house that my ex got in the divorce, I'd have plenty. I got screwed and I am kicking myself, years later, I lost my money and everything, the life I had, went down the tubes.

Now I'm alone, with no one in the city with me- no family and only a few friends I see a few times a year. I have a job that is challenging, but also drives me nuts. And doesn't pay enough for me to live on...and I have a masters degree for goods sake.

I have a headache, I feel so alone, and I just don't even want to exist anymore. Random- I saw a stray cat today and felt so bad for it. It just made me want to cry. The poor thing, no one to love him, or take care of him. I don't know why I feel so intensely for other animals and those who are sick or poor, but I don't give a crap about myself.

Today has been the worst day of my depression.....ever. I just can't wrap my head around why I am here and what purpose I have on this earth. It all seems so darn pointless.

Oh, Dear Friend -- my heart is going out to you right now, and a big, big hug is following right behind -- you do give a crap about yourself -- you are living each day as best you can. You have a mum and dad who love you -- that alone, is so wonderful -- not everybody has that -- they care about you.

And you know what "they" say, about people who love animals!!! -- You are a good person, going through a very emotional time right now -- please give yourself some patience, love and understanding -- you deserve all that -- right?!!!

And one more thing, -- finances are tough for you right now -- but do you think you could adopt a pet -- they are so much comfort -- I know lots of places, don't allow animals, and that is sad -- pets are so good for our well-being

Please take care and stay safe

[doggiedo]

Thx- it really meant a lot that someone responded. I actually have a dog right now and I volunteer every weekend at the animal shelter. It's something I can do to give back a little. Idk how I'm gonna afford to take him to get his shots in aug and I need more heart guard and flea and tick stuff. I'll find the money for him tho- he's so worth it. Even he deserves better I feel. And u are right- I am so lucky to have my parents- I know I shouldn't be embarrassed asking for help but I am.

[happy 2 b here]

I am a parent -- my middle child who is 36, still needs help on occasion financially -- we always are more than happy to oblige, when we can -- sometimes he pays it back, and sometimes, we tell me -- not to worry -- what goes around, comes around. When my husband and I were busy raising our 3 children and money was tight, my dear mother-in-law always seemed to know and would be there for us. Now it is our turn to help my son and his young family

So glad you have a pet, and volunteering is such a good thing to do -- you are a good person

[Starla Dear]

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. I can totally relate to caring more about animals than myself. I definitely take better care of my pets than I do myself.

I wish I had some wonderful advice for you. Just know I'm hearing you and I care that you're here.

[gracez]

I'm sorry it's a rough time and I don't have really specific advice there - just impressed that you keep going and are going to your job.

There are lots of things you can do to live on less ( I live on barely anything really) and lots of services in some cities if you are broke - like a food bank. For pets, at one time when i couldn't afford vet visits, shots, etc. i looked into services for pets of low income people. there are some depending on your area. my cats actually got fully sponsored for their initial shots! at the least, there is the care credit card (you can google it) which is for health care stuff and you can pay off a certain amy each month.

[penguinsing]

I am feel the same too.

I wish I have the money. Money is not everything , but it sure can solve a lot of problem that make me feel so stress and depress it. And if I can money I can get counseling too.

[doggiedo]

I'm sorry you guys can relate. It's tough, isn't it? I have done some thinking and crying. And after sleeping last night, even though not very good nights sleep. Anyhow, I emailed my boss to see if I can look into living on campus. Some of the staff have done that and are currently doing that- they get paid less but get most utilities included and free rent.

I also talked with a guy friend (we kinda dated for a month, but nothing more than kissing) and he has been looking for a roommate for financial reasons for the past few months. He said I could live there for half of what I'm paying now- I could save like $800 a month! So that's an option. Idk if its the best bc we kinda dated, but oh we'll. he lives about 30 min from work, but the commute would be worth it. If I lived on campus, on the other hand, i could go home for lunch and let the dog out, no commute, etc.

I also called my counselor to see her next week. I feel a little better. Now I just don't want to go home to Visit family for the weekend...I don't want them asking all questions and stuff. They know how tight money is and that I'm stressing. I just don't know what the right decision is for me right now,

[allimsaying]

It sounds like the choice is between living with the guy you sort of dated before, or living in a place that is known to have some inconveniences?

It'd be great if you could get the room, save the money, all that. How do you feel about the potential guy room-mate now? You dont have to answer. Wish you the best.

[kirby777]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

Thx- it really meant a lot that someone responded. I actually have a dog right now and I volunteer every weekend at the animal shelter. It's something I can do to give back a little. Idk how I'm gonna afford to take him to get his shots in aug and I need more heart guard and flea and tick stuff. I'll find the money for him tho- he's so worth it. Even he deserves better I feel. And u are right- I am so lucky to have my parents- I know I shouldn't be embarrassed asking for help but I am.

doggiedo,

I am sorry you are feeling so down. You obviously have a kind heart with all what you do for the animals. I love animals and do care more for mine than myself. I have multiple degrees and cannot even function to work.

In my area, the local SPCA holds vaccine clinics periodically..they test for HW and you can putchase the preventative through them. It is a lot less expensive than going to the vet's. Google it.

By volunteering at the animal shelter you are helping depressed animals feel better! Give yourself credit for this, please, as it is well deserved.

[doggiedo]

Yea idk if it would be weird if I live with my guy friend. I mean the place is really nice and he understands me and I could be comfortable there's for sure.

As much as I don't want to live on campus, it would be agood move. Argh, and how I dispise moving again.

My thoughts have turned to my mom- she was in the hospital today for her diverticulitis - they think she might have to have surgery by she had such a bad attack today, at any rate, I'm going back to see her. It kind of puts things into perspective, in terms of what's really important, you know?

As for the vaccinations - I know the shelter offers them discounted once a month. I'm going to look into that, I think. I still have to take him to the vet to get his annual physical. Hess turning 7 in August, and now he's considered a senior dog....so I know his needs and performance will change.

[doggiedo]

I figured it out- I'm gonna take my friend up on his offer and save some money. I'm going to the apt complex office tomorrow to see how I can break my lease. Hopefully they don't make me pay two months rent to break it. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I have the potential o save about $600/ month! U imagine? That would be so cool.

I'd have to sell a lot of my furniture tho. I don't mind that. I just wonder if ill be losing money selling nice prices since it'll be harder to get good money for them. Most of what I got was hand- me-downs anyhow. But the stuff is in good quality.

[allimsaying]

Maybe have a talk with him before you make any plans? I hope he's someone who loves you as a friend and isnt going to have problems controlling his emotions for you, otherwise, it could get sticky? That way you have some ground rules set from the beginning.

About the furniture, I dont know much. I think the more time you take to sell, the more money you could make? Not always, but if a buyer can tell you're in a hurry, they may use that to thier advantage. Maybe its worth it to you to take a little loss so the timing all works out.

Not to bum you out but I dont know many landlords who are anxious to break leases. I hope you have a compassionate one.
Thanks for updating. Keep us posted!

[doggiedo]

I did talk to him about it and he was all like " we barely even dated- we probably kissed (peck) like two times! He's right! I guess I was reading more into it than I thought. He even said "that ship has long since sailed" and i even asked if it would be weird if we both ended up datig. he was like yea- no big deal a all, so I guess it's all good.

About breaking the lease- yea, ill definitely have to pay to get out of the lease but I will make it up in 2 months with what I save at this new place. So in the long run it will work out well.

But now my mind is racing about what to pack, when to go, what to bring, etc...maybe I bring my dog over first to see how he is and then maybe tell the place I'm leaving? I'm just so nervous but I think I need to do this.

[allimsaying]

Sounds like he's mellow with having you move in and there wont be problems. Im just suggesting that you clearly state what your position is about any developing romance and then theres an honest understanding to kick off your new relationship with him.

Taking the dog over is an excellent idea. That should reduce some of the dogs stress when you move in.

Cool you can afford to break the lease. That shouldnt be a problem then either.

I would go in this order:

1. Meet with new roomate, take dog.

2. Meet with landlord.

3. Begin to pack.

4. Maybe have a garage sale for the valuable items? Or is there a furniture dealer nearby? What about storage if you dont want to sell some family hand me downs that have special meaning?

5. You can donate to charity what doesnt sell and doesnt have great value. Im sure you thought of that already!

You seem like youve thought things thru rationally and Im excited for you! 600 a month is a lot of savings! I hope you wont expand your debt because you have the extra $, that would make the whole move pointless almost.

Sounds good! Good luck!