Feeling like a fraud

I have this gnawing thought that is trying to convince me that I am using mental illness as a crutch and that I am disgracing the legitimacy of such a horrible affliction with my disguise.

Anybody else ever feel this way?

I do feel this way sometimes but I don't believe it's true. When I start to think one negative thought the downward spiral commences and that's when these thoughts come out. I think it's just the result of being down on yourself for too long.

It is possible I have tried a little harder than I should have for some reassurance and encouragement at some point, but I feel like there's no fault to anybody doing that because everyone deserves some uplifting from time to time.

And if you get anything from this rambling it should be that we probably all feel that way sometimes, but that's the depression talking, not us.

what's your mental illness?

...on second thoughts, disguising yourself could work as long as you don't fear people "unmasking" you, then you'll be the person you dream of being and never have to go back to your old self again! or is that too unrealistic?

I don't see how the part in bold is really possible - if you've been diagnosed with the condition then it IS legitimate as is the confusion that abounds when you have such issues.

The phrase; 'don't let your illness define you,' gets thrown around a lot, i've fallen back on it too many times myself - but when we've been involved with something for a certain length of time -- are the boundaries so clearly defined?

I think what matters is what you want - if you desire to get better than you will find a way of maintaining an interest in getting better. We may have times when everything just seems impossible and that it doesn't matter what happens - but this usually isn't sustainable. It's just not who we are. People are problem solvers.

People can have medical conditions that disturb their sense of self and naturally anything can become a crutch. I guess you could also argue that if a condition is livable it can pass for what you could consider a main point of interest about yourself if your self esteem doesn't allow for highlighting more positive attributes.

As you can see i feel pretty conflicted about this whole topic myself but i hope i've thrown some ideas out there which give you food for thought. I too am interested in what others have to say.

Yea, most of the day I'm just empty and blank and when I start to think, usually at night, is when I spiral.

I have not yet been diagnosed, but am currently seeking a therapist because my mother and Primary Care Physician said I suffer from depression.

I think it could work for a while, but you'll probably come crashing down if you never work through what's going on and how to properly deal with your emotions.

Anybody else have anything else to say about this?

I feel like that sometimes. I think it comes from the stigma all of us are surrounded with. Depressed people are told "you could be happy if you tried" and "It's all in your head" (how ironic) and "you're just not trying to be happy". That makes some of us feel like we are a fraud. I don't believe you're making a sham of an illness, dear. It's a very hard thing to accept because we are always told not to.

((many hugs))

Yeah, had a conversation like that Tuesday, got me down.

Hey
I feel like this too. I sat on my other half's bed today and tried to explain it. Its so hard. Is it just a coping mechanism to shield myself that my brain has come up with. But then my brain is me, but if its in my brain maybe it is real.
You then just feel more crappy than when you began. I know its no consolation to you but its kind of reassuring that its not just me that dwells on this. There must be less thought in that thought surely if its not just me, and its not just you.
In moments of clarity I think STOP BEING SO STUPID ITS JUST PART OF NOT BEING WELL AT THIS TIME AND JUST ACCEPT THAT IT IS HAPPENING, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT but its hard when that's all you can think about.
Its all an irrational thing and so being logical and trying to reason with yourself about it is never going to be an easy one.
I think its just about finding that reassurance that you're not alone in and out of your head. It won't make it go away but its a comfort. Or at least I hope.
It has to go away eventually. I'm sorry you're going through this.

I said the same thing earlier this week........ I think I am just sick of myself.