[lgreen1951]

Hello again to all:
Don't know were to begin on this subject because it has been eating away at me for some time. I feel completly and utterly crazy, I mean I just don't want to go on anymore, I feel like I am just surviving without feeling anything. I hate the way I am feeling, but I am more afraid to tell anyone in my family how I am feeling. I don't want to lose my daughter, but I am losing it fast. I cannot stop crying, I mean it is getting to the point were I am having a hard time at work and at home, and that is not fair to my daughter either. I need some advice, I mean I am getting desperate, I want to reach out, but the fear holds me back.............

(((lgreen1951))) Have you tried reaching out to a friend, talking to a counselor?

It is very hard to reach out for help. But it is even harder to try and cope on one's own when depression hits.

Seeing someone might help both you and your little girl (who wants to see a happy mom) feel better.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( lgreen1951 ))))))))))))

[Rhapsody]

I am SORRY that YOU are having to go through this and yet I understand, for I am feeling a lot of the same way - LIFE SUCKS right now for me too.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

... It has greatly helped ME to be able to talk about it all on here - PC & the PPL are AWESOME!!

[lgreen1951]

Always:
I have shut off myself from my friends for so long that I have no one to reach out to, I am close to my Mom, but the fear of telling her how I really feel, or the fear of her reaction to my real feelings is holding me back, I feel like I could rip off my skin I am so panicked and crazy right now I am just so afraid to reach out
thanks for listenting.

[Rhapsody]

Please read this link here - I read it last night from the link that Doc supplied for us in the NO Suicide Policy thread.

LINK: http://areason.org/

Hope it helps a little....... it did for ME.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

((((Igreen 1951))))

I understand where you are coming from. I do.

The hardest part is to make the first step... The fear that is blocking you now will gradually diminish.

Why not try and tell your mother, would she not understand? A counselor would also help. Please, don't shut yourself out, you deserve to feel better & to be happy.

[Rhapsody]

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lgreen1951 said:
I have shut off myself from my friends for so long that I have no one to reach out to, I am close to my Mom, but the fear of telling her how I really feel, or the fear of her reaction to my real feelings is holding me back, I feel like I could rip off my skin I am so panicked and crazy right now I am just so afraid to reach out

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((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( SUPPORT )))))))

You are speaking exactly what I feel and the life I have been living for the last five years.... Maybe we can HELP each other?

Please tell your MoM - for I told my MoM and while she could not stop the pain, she did allow me to hang with her the last time I went through a scary time with my life..... my MoM and my Husband know of my real deep feelings and fear of death.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[lgreen1951]

Always:
I am not sure if she would understand, she is my only real support right now, and I am afraid I will dissappoint her plus, she is going through so much right now I hate to add to her burden, I am just so unsure, but I hate HATE the way I am feeling.

[Rhapsody]

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lgreen1951 said:
Always:
I am not sure if she would understand, she is my only real support right now, and I am afraid I will dissappoint her plus, she is going through so much right now I hate to add to her burden, I am just so unsure, but I hate HATE the way I am feeling.

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Food for Thought - - - but what type of burden will it be upon her if you faulter and end this life that has been given to you (and) she never knew how you felt?

Just some thing to think about...... for I too have to rethink this whole thing - this past weekend was a close call for me.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

I don't think a parent would be disappointed in their child if they are suffering in silence... They'd want the best and / or would want to help. Maybe you could give this some more thought (re your mom).

In the meantime, how about seeking a counselor?

It is a good start to acknowledge that your work and home life are affected, and that you are worried about your daughter. Please, seek help so you don't go through this alone.

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with Always, I tried to post more than a "hug" before...... screen froze

[lgreen1951]

Thank you

[lgreen1951]

I am going to really think about all of this, you all have helped me more than you know, thank you

You're very welcome. Take care. ((((Igreen1951))))

[alisandria]

(((lgreen))) talk with your mom, if you guys are close, talk...I don't have that with my mom, but my daughter has a mom that is that way (ie. me)...I wouldn't want my daughter suffering in silence, I might not have the answers, or the know how, the tools to make it all right, but I know that I could help her find the answers, and alleviate some of her struggle....she has had a few rough spots in her life already, and tried to hold off from telling me in fear it would add more burden for me...to the contrary I could already percieve something was awry with her, it just made me feel so much better that she finally opened up, and let me help her with her struggle...one of the first things we did was call her primary care physician, talked very openly with him, and very bluntly...with his support we got her back on track.

Just know you aren't alone. I have been there when I felt my world was swirling out of control, somehow got through it...don't know how, but did. You are already part way there!!!!! berry berry many hugs!!! and please keep us posted!!

hugs, Lisa

[lgreen1951]

Alisandira:
Thank you for all of your support, I have a lot of thinking to do on this subject, but I do know that I have to talk to someone soon because I feel like I am losing my mind !!!
Maybe , hopefully, I can get past this fear I have and talk to someone!!!! thank you all for all your kind words and support, it has helped me calm down some

[Bethsway]

Hi...have you talked to a doctor? Sounds to me like you need some extra help to get you through this...Please do talk to someone if you can!!!! It will be alot better in the long run if you do!!!

[lgreen1951]

not yet, but I am thinking that may be the next step