difficult times

What are you supposed to do when two people who are or were really close to you, lie to you or treat you badly. Last night i hung out with a friend of mine that i dont see very often, and we used to be really good friends, but i think he's changed. He was cynical and mean all night, and he said he didnt mean it, but it still hurt, and i dont know if i want to hang out with him anymore.

the other thing is that my boyfriend said he was going to quit smoking marijuana about 3 or 4 months ago, and then he met this friend who got him back into it. Now he has a pipe and other paraphenalia, and claims not to do it that often, but if he said he was going to stop before and then lied how do i believe him. I love him more than anything in the world, but its like hes totally regressed. I have talked to him about it before and he said he was going to quit, he said he was going to get his GED, he's said all of these things...and yet...nothing happens...he bought me roses yesterday, and i laid in bed and cried looking at them today, because im starting to feel like it doesnt mean anything, but i know it does.

things will be okay...we're just going through a rough time right now and im just really upset and really depressed. He's finally off of probation and he's risking a lot by going back to drinking and all of this stuff, especially since he lives with his parents....

and yet theres nothing i can do about it.

all things shall pass...even life.

I'm sorry things are going so badly right now with your boyfriend. That kind of bad behavior from someone you love can make a bad patch of depression even that much worse. Does he know how his acting out makes you feel? Is he supportive of you in your daily battle against this awful thing that sometimes just grabs us all around the throat? It sounds like he's being really selfish to me. You deserve better treatment than that. If you can, just hang in there and do whatever things you know that will help you, like: posting here, writing in a journal, drinking hot chocolate in front of a fire, a long hot soak in the tub, anything "girly". Make yourself do something for you even if you don't feel like it. Generally, that's what helps with me. Hang tough. "This, too, shall pass,"

"Keep walking past the open windows."

You deserve better than these "friends" are treating you. Any chance that the one you hung out with last night was using drugs or alcohol? Substances like that can make some people act mean like you are describing.

Your boyfriend has not given you reason to trust him. I don't know what your plans for the future are, but I see a brighter future for you than the one that his actions will lead to. He's not really going to change until it is his decision. Just telling you that he is going to and not acting on it isnt good enough. I don't know if anything you say or do will get him to turn his life around - it won't unless he chooses to work on it. You need to make the decisions that will allow you your best chances for the kind of life you want to have. My advice to you is to put your needs first and hang around with people who treat you better, are honest with you, and are on track for the kind of life that you want to have.



<font color=orange>"Everyone has a need for significance; and if we can't make that possible, or even probable, in our society, then it will be obtained in destructive ways." -Rollo May</font color=orange>