[Christina86]

Somehow, all of my problems are my fault. Everything hard and screwed up is my fault. My life is my fault. My being a nuisance to everyone ... is definetely all my fault.

I have this urge to crawl under a rock and stay there. At least nobody has to put up with me there.

[LMo]

Dude... what? why? You've been nothing but a treasure here -- not at all a nuisance.

What's up?

[Christina86]

I'm not a treasure and I'm not useful here. You can all disagree but I'm useless.

I'm so sick of not being able to do anything but I know its all my fault. My friends worrying about me is my fault. My being miserable is my fault. All my fault.

[LMo]

complete nonsense . But you don't have to take my word for it -- just wait until more people have had the chance to read and reply.

Canders, it's ok to have a 'down' day. But, don't let yourself get stuck there -- you sincerely have tons to offer and you make a very big (posiitive) difference in people's lives. I'm not going to worry about you because I know that your future holds great things for you.

I don't say that to just anyone, by the way. I happen to have a lot of respect for you.

[Christina86]

I really wish it was just a down day. That turned into a weekend, which turned into basically all this past week. (And which is doomed to continue because I don't know how to stop it)

Why do you have respect for me? I don't deserve it. But thanks anyway for the thought.

[LMo]

Look, I don't want to hear you indulge the bad feelings with statements like "I don't deserve it". It's disrespectful to ME for you to deny my respect for you.

I respect you because you are someone who pays attention. You have an uncanny ability to accurately read between the lines when someone is hurting, and you manage to get right to their point. You have a great sense of timing and maturity.

And lastly, nothing is doomed to continue. The same way your brain chemistry has changed to bring on this bout of depression, it can (and most likely will) change again to have you feel better again. If not, that's what doctors are for. It's all within physical reach, but being emotionally ready to take charge of it is the hard part. And that's what your friends are for.

[Christina86]

Thanks LMo. Sometimes I do think I need to have some sense knocked into me.

I'm sorry I wasn't trying to be rude. Just sometimes is how I am. Not that its a good excuse, but I do apologize.

thanks

[LMo]

pah - no apologies - but promise me a good night's sleep and some exercise in the morning? And an update tomorrow?

[Christina86]

Try for the sleep. Exercise, I get simply by wheeling anywhere - besides that nothing will probably happen as the weather is getting pretty ucky. Update tomorrow, tomorrow night probably.

I think this is stress bothering me. I have to study for an exam on Tuesday. I'm not all that prepared. Definetely my fault but I'll live with the consequences.

G'night.

[LMo]

what's the exam about?

[arod13]

canders7 well i know im joining this conversation late but you have helped me since ive been on here so thanks for that and you are needed here

[jacq10]

((((Canders)))

I completley and 100% agree with what LMO said. I'm so sorry things are rough right now ... and i wish i could magically say something that would take all of the pain and hurt away .. but just know that i'm thinking of you, and i'm here if you need someone. Keep your head up, you are an amazing person with great potential.

"just keep swimming."" =)

[Bethsway]

OH canders you are always so supportive of everyone...and you are needed here...You are so uplifting to so many people...please don't put yourself down...((((((((hugs()))))))))) you are a treasure even if you don't know it!!

[Fuzzybear]

Sorry..... sounds somewhat familiar to me also

(((((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))))

[Christina86]

Hi again LMo. This is me waking up like 6 hours later. Better some sleep than none. My exam is in psychology. Its multiple choice. Not that hard right? I dunno.

Thanks arod - I'm glad you've joined because so far I've really enjoyed having you here - no joke.

Jacqueline - hehe! Just keep swimming is funny Thanks you - same thing for you.

Bethsway - I find that really hard to believe but thanks because I know it may just be the truth.

Fuzzy - Thanks as always you

-

Thanks to all of you for your nice words. It does mean a lot. Sometimes my brain just goes off on its own and I wind up writing a post that even though I feel its true - may not be.

[lenjan]

Christina, I've found that you always have a lot to offer, and you've certainly been very supportive to me. I certainly know how you're feeling, have been there multiple times myself, but it's the depression getting to you, it's not the truth! Don't let it win.

PM if you need me.

Love, Candy

[Christina86]

Thanks candybear.

I know its the depression I just wish I felt this urge to get over it rather than let it control me.

(Sorry, I'm a bit confusing in the morning)

Thanks you

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
canders7 said:


Somehow, all of my problems are my fault. Everything hard and screwed up is my fault. My life is my fault. My being a nuisance to everyone ... is definetely all my fault.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Please know that relationship problems are NEVER just one sided..... we share this area of our life and hearts with others.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[Fuzzybear]

[constant10]

So everything is your fault...join the club...take a number...just don't take my place...I was here first...

Feel the same way! But heads up, the answer to any problem, question, etc. is to ask first...so your are asking...sorry about your bad day, week, month, whatever...heads up...take a deep breadth with me and exhale slowly...go to a funny web page and read it...go to a playground and watch kids at play...for that matter join them...

[Fuzzybear]

Good post!!!

I like the way you express the commonality of thoughts of the "common people" ..... like me

[Christina86]

Rhapsody - I know it cognitively isn't correct of me to think those things but sometimes it really does seem that nobody else is ever responsible for the bad stuff that happens. Only me.

Fuzzy - thanks as always! edit: Ps. Fuzzy ... who says you're "common"? You're extraordinary and special you!!

Constant - thanks for the neat advice. I really should learn to take a "time out" to just breathe. I just don't. It builds up and piles up and then it explodes and I feel worse.

Thanks all of you

[LMo]

Canders, I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Best of luck on the exam. Thinking of you,

LMo

[Christina86]

Hehehe.

I almost forgot my update.

I had a bad day.

Bossed around. Made fun of. And stressed out.

Still stressed.

But on the upside - I don't want to have another emotional breakdown for a while, whoopee.

Thanks LMo

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
canders7 said:
Rhapsody - I know it cognitively isn't correct of me to think those things but sometimes it really does seem that nobody else is ever responsible for the bad stuff that happens. Only me.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

YES.............. I understand where you are coming from and I have seen people make others believe this to be true as well, but the TRUTH of the matter is that it takes two to tango and two to make it work or to mess it up.

Hang in there................................... <font color="red"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

LoVe,
Rhapsody -