It's that time of year, the sun is gone and the cold is here. I don't know why but last few days I feel so anxious, depressed - that end of the world feeling.

More medical tests coming up - I'm scared, scared of the tests and scared of the outcome. Funny... one of my newer friends - 3yrs asked me so who goes with you to the hospital? I've always gone alone - taxies - she has this really great husband she couldn't even imagine what that would be like - it struck me how different our lives are - I've had depression since age 13. Many surgeries, many taxies... got to stop feeling sorry for myself - suck it up. A few weeks ago the nurse called a taxi - that when it turned up had no markings, no meter, two men in it - stuck me in this dirty dirty van - I was zonked out from meds from surgery - made it home but what a trip.

[Boopers]

Hello Freewill,

Yes, this time of year can be very depressing, indeed! Bitter cold, rain, snow and sleet and alot less sunny days! I miss them too!

What kind of tests are you going to have to have, if you don't mind me asking? I sure hope they will turn out OK!!

Friends come in all shapes and sizes. I have some that I feel sorry for and some that well, I get a little jealous about. But, as long as you have friends that stick by you no matter what, that's what really counts. So sorry about the van, that does sound disgusting! I think I would have contacted the nurse and let her know about the van so maybe she will be more careful in the future!

I hope there will be a little sunshine in your life and things get better for you. Take care and sending you "hugs"!!

Linda

Hi Linda,
Thanks for being there. Michigan weather blah! I'm scared and I don't know who to talk to - currently w/o therapist.

Been going thru these tests to figure out why I can't breathe. My fdoc thought for past 5 years, it was my anxiety and depression - had those all my life.... hehe... could always breathe.

Anyway it's been heart ... lungs... sleep lab, that kind of thing. The van was after a stress test and heart caterization - man was I out of it,,, I can kinda laugh about it now.
I'm scared because they found some "lumpies" (tech. term) in my lungs. Have to do my tests to see if its C.

The PF put me on asthma meds - that has helped.He said I have bronchial asthma.

I need to get off of Paxil - weight issue. Any ideas of where to get support for that as I wean off. My pdoc isn't much help. City that I live in has very few pdocs - they are always booked.
I'm sorry, I just feel so down.. During times like this, I feel like everyones life goes on but mine. Then it's like, oh come on Lu get with it.
Just scared, Linda. I have friends and a 22 y son but I try very hard to keep my drepression away from them.

Thank you for the "hugs".

[Bethsway]

((((((((freewill))))))))) welcome to PC...hope you find the support you are needing!!! hello hello!!

[pamelasu]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time!! I Hope that you get feeling better soon!! *hugs*

[Perna]

Freewill, I have asthma (and I'm 56, "got" it 3 years ago after 5 months of working with a systemic infection and too many antibiotics, grrrr) and it's been giving me fits the last couple months, getting better then worse again with the weather I think.

Here's a site that helps with Paxil withdrawal: http://www.quitpaxil.info/ I had a friend on it that had a heck of a time weaning herself off. Sounds like nasty stuff.

Sorry you're feeling down. I generally find some new books and curl up for a couple days until I get an idea for a new "project". Do you have any hobbies, go to school (I do online), have a dream or three? I like to write and my college courses require a lot of that so I get to work on some "word problem" every day.