[GenCat]

It was so pointless today, my T spent like 20 mins on the same topic! Topics that didn't help me in any way. She gave me a to-do list and I just don't give a crap about the list. I don't want to do them, they won't help me. I feel so exhausted reading the to-do list let alone doing it. Wish you didn't have to try so hard when you have depression. Cause with depression I'm lucky to just get out of bed most days. So angry I didn't express my true feelings about the to-do list. My T kept saying we need to work on this and that. I'm thinking we DON'T work on anything. Just so frustrated with myself and my T.

[winter4me]

suggestion: share this post with your t.

[Altered Moment]

I know exactly how you feel. There have been times when I can't even get out of bed all day and night and drag my *** to the therapist and her to do list goes something like this: Get up at 7am. Eat breakfast. Go for a walk. Go to coffee with your friends. aaaaaahhhhhhh don't you see I can't do those things. Her ideas is we are gonna behave this depression away. That works for me when I am moderately depressed and can force myself then I do feel better. But when severely depressed not a chance I can do those things.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by winter4me

suggestion: share this post with your t.

Excellent suggestion!

Any kind of to-do list overwhelms me. Is there any one thing on the list you think might actually help you?

[GenCat]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Excellent suggestion!

Any kind of to-do list overwhelms me. Is there any one thing on the list you think might actually help you?

Somethings on my list are to excersize, which I am never able to do it seems, and show validation and affirmations. Those two are things I also don't do, but T says I need to start doing to make my depression easier on myself. Speaking up to my mother is a very tough thing for me. I don't know of anything that would help me, because if they do I already do them and if they don't I don't do them.

[Clara22]

I am sorry you have to deal with a list
Could not Ts be more creative?
One thing is enough for me, i am pretty slow with everything

[Frankbtl]

Hi, you're right, it would have been a good idea to express your true feelings to your T. But I can understand how that might have been hard for you at the time, maybe you were feeling misunderstood, frustrated, let down, had your feelings "screaming to come out" while they were talking about something else (???). Then again the session is about you and helping you, so if you feel that things are going down a dead-end you absolutely have the right to say something like "look I really need to move this on a bit........".
Sometimes when sessions go well it's easy to forget that they are "only human" and can't necessarily know exactly what they should/could be saying, so sometimes they may "stray" a little without a bit more direction from you.
So, yes, they are your sessions so nothing wrong at all with sharing some ownership in them and having more input into where you think they should be going/what's not going well in them for you. In fact that's a very good (!!) thing if you can do it.
But you know that therapy can have it's good days and it's bad days, as long as the general road you're on is helping in some way, either shorter or longer term. Perhaps a road you both need to keep working on with their and your input in sessions?
As for the to-do-list, it does help sometimes to push the boundaries and take risks. But if you feel that there's just no way your going to be able to do it, then I'd say you should narrow the list down for yourself into one that you see as realistic while still giving yourself a bit of a challenge. And hey, if you complete it make sure you feel really proud of yourself. Doesn't matter what the original list said, you've achieved something!!!
And if you complete just a fraction of things on there, then all that means is you need a bit more help in achieving another bit of it, you've still got somewhere!!
Never walk off with a to-do-list that you know ain't going to happen!! The list doesn't mean you're at fault, it just means the list is at fault!!
So, open up, and if you feel you're not working on anything challenge that with your T. And you know what I'm going to say if that goes on........time to look for another T!!!
Alison

[Bipolarchic14]

My therapist started giving me homework despite the fact the I was in a really bad place. At first it was really hard to do the assignments but now I am greatful for them. They help me move foward towards hope for a better future. They say you only get out of therapy what you put into it.

[GenCat]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

My therapist started giving me homework despite the fact the I was in a really bad place. At first it was really hard to do the assignments but now I am greatful for them. They help me move foward towards hope for a better future. They say you only get out of therapy what you put into it.

Thanks for this, I guess that last statement is true. Now I feel very guilty about complaining about my to-do list...

[waggiedog]

Oh no, I absolutely AGREE about theripists giving ''lists'' to do. Of course we'd all do these things if we could. I find because I never do any of the listed things, I just feel more of a failiure than ever. I too can't even get out of bed, if I do I end up going back and give up on everything. I'm meant to walk around town ~ I've tried aimlessly walking, watching ''normal'' people go about their business ~ watch them talk, laugh and share ..................................................................... and I go home feeling 100 times worse and wish I'd never gone out. I don't have the energy to walk normally. That's the problem with ''non~depressed'' people telling us what to do, they do NOT know how it feels.

[Altered Moment]

Maybe as you feel a little better you can do one thing on your to do list a day. baby steps.

One time I called my AA sponsor and told him I was really depressed, he said "so be depressed". It was a huge revelation for me. No one had ever given me permission to be depressed. I had to learn to give myself permission to be depressed. There is so much pressure from all angles that you have to be doing something to help you get out of it. For me it is very cyclical and has to run its course. Usually I am severely depressed for some period of time and then all of a sudden a switch goes off and I feel better and am able to do the to do list and can climb the rest of the way out. Give yourself permission to be how you are.

[moodycow]

Maybe start with just one thing on the list ?