[Tangerine87]

How much do you tell your therapist about suicidal thoughts? My therapist knows i have them, but i don't tell him details like about a plan but one time he did come pretty close….And i get scared how close he will get to me telling.

I get a lot of suicidal thoughts, and I have plans. I think about it all the time..I also have deep dark secrets that I can't tell anyone and I'm worried about how close I'll get to him that I will trust him, and he will have no choice but to break that trust. Does anyone have this problem too? I'm worried I'm starting to trust him a little too much…I know as soon as I mention anything about a plan, he has to break confidentiality.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I can relate. I have been there many times. I actually have a plan even now, but no intent (the depression has lifted some). I think it may be good to talk to your T about your plans. Confidentiality rules differ by location, but many times T's will talk more about it before they jump into action (unless you are telling them you will kill yourself as soon as you walk out the door). If you do have a plan with means and intent to carry it out, your T will likely encourage you to go to the ER, or send you if you refuse.
I know it's scary, but trust can be a good thing. It could mean that he is someone you think may be able to help you through the dark times. You must be hurting an awful lot to be considering suicide, but he can't help you through it if you don't tell him the extent of what is going on. If you are on meds, it might be time for a med tweak. If not, then it may be time to put a crisis plan together. Like I said, I pretty much always have a plan in place (kinda like an "escape clause"). I have learned that when the intent gets too strong, I need to reach out. My T and I will talk about it and she will assess my risk. Generally, it's really helpful for me to be admitting to that level of hurt. We talk about the things that are making me feel so hopeless. A lot of the time, talking about it and admitting how bad things feel helps lessen the pain of it. It doesn't take it away, but it gives me a new perspective on it.
(hugs) I hope you can be ok trusting him and opening up. It's a huge risk, but it may totally be worth it. Not everyone breaks your trust. Sometimes even when they do in one moment, it's for the better in the long run. Good luck and please reach out to someone if things get too bad (and before you make an attempt)

[smmath]

I have suicidal thoughts, and my therapist knows that. I only tell her if she asks about them. I told her my plan if I was to do it. She didn't do anything because I made it clear that I am at no risk of ending my life. I think it might be wise to tell your therapist what you are feeling. Tell him what you are concerned about, and go from there.

Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk

[reesecups]

That is a good question. It sounds like you know the law. I actually went as far as telling my T that I had a 'kit' in the car and planned on killing myself after session if I still felt the same way as before I came in. She put her head on her arm for a second, then said, I promise, if you will get help for yourself and try to work with them, I will be able to help you.

I was touched that she was showing frustration but not threatening me with hospitals. She knew our relationship would be over if she did it. She also knew how I felt about it being my decision. Maybe, by law, she should have called the police. I don't know that I would have been that honest with anyone else, past or present. I did check myself into the hospital the next morning and that was at the end of February. The day after I was released, they had me go to a Partial Hospitalization Program. Still there now. I can honestly say I did it for my therp but have benefitted. I have more better days than really bad. Suicide is now just an ideation on e in a while instead of obsessing almost constantly about wanting to die/overdosing/ideation for over 20 years.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is, don't lose hope. If you are feeling suicidal, maybe take it out of the therp's hand and go to any emergency room and tell them you feel like harming yourself. You can even contact your therp and leave a message for them letting T know you are trying to help yourself.

Just me suggestion. If you are coming very close to that type of decision, then please make the decision to help yourself. Take care.

[Victoria'smom]

How much do you tell your therapist about suicidal thoughts? I tell T everything! This includes ways, how exactly I'm planing, what exactly will happen to my family, how I imagine it would feel like, everything. I can't verbalize it so I write it. He only has to break confidentiality if he has to involuntarily commit you. Which is when it's immediate life threat behavior and you refuse to sign yourself in. I tend to also comment about my vanity, complain about not being able to use xyz method (and vividly describe how I would) because I'm an organ donor, and the statistical failure rate. Which I'm always convinced I'd fall into and become a vegetable which doesn't help with my vanity. I always have a safety plan and to call if I'm not going to make it to my next appointment. As long as she feels I will get to my next appointment then she wont mention hospitalization. She does always check my next appointment with my Pdoc is. We have gone over the involuntary process and my rights as involuntary patient but she doesn't think It'll ever get that far.

[herethennow]

I kinda do selective telling. I know that my pdoc and T would actually panic and suggest hospitalisation.. so, like you.. right now I have a plan. And I haven't told any of them. I'm just keeping quiet. There was one time I had a failed attempt (I was still breathing, nothing major happened) and I just went in and kept quiet.

But I guess the point of this post is I think you know the consequences. The question now is that... are you ready for the consequences?

[SoupDragon]

We never used to talk about them in detail. However a few weeks ago, he asked me about them and I was very open about them. He was taken aback and I then felt bad for sharing the details - I guess they are just so familiar to me and I forgot that they may have an impact on someone else hearing them. Since then we just call them "dark thoughts" but know what we are referring to. He doesn't encourage me to talk about them when they are more powerful as he says focusing on them can give them more strength.

He has never said that he would breach confidentiality unless he was very concerned about my safety. We have an unwritten agreement that I would always contact him first, which I guess is reassuring to him.

In terms of dark secrets, he told me that he would always be on my side and even if I said that I had committed an awful crime then he would have to inform the police to stop me doing it, but he would still be on my side and work with me. I thought that was reasonable.

[avlady]

i used to get really angry when i was younger and was put in the hospital for mentioning suicidal thoughts but now i can understand it from the therapists and doctors point of view, they would have some responsibility if anyone did commit suicide and they didn't help. I used to get really angry and lash out at the doc and nurses, and was eventually put on meds which was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'v been on meds for about 30 years now, have good and bad days but not too many suicidal thought days.

NOT much.

I actually see three shrinks (one meds doc and two therapists).

the two therapists both know that I like to "parse" my words. but unless I (or you) want a 72+ hour stay in your local nuthouse.... I tend to downplay that stuff.

"smile and tell them what they want to hear"....

[The_little_didgee]

I don't say much either. My psychiatrist is my therapist and she has hospital privileges so I am reluctant to tell her about my suicidal feelings.

I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts on and off over the last month. This has been the first time in about 10 years that I actually felt this way. Right now I am not too worried. As long as my anxiety isn't severe I am okay.

The only thing I have been telling her is I think about death a lot. She did ask me if I was suicidal but I denied it. I see no point in discussing suicidal feelings with anybody.

[gayleggg]

Right now I'm only seeing a psychiatrist but I hold back on the suicidal thoughts unless it gets really bad, then he can see I don't care about anything anymore and tunes into my shifting to just being depressed to being past feeling anything. Then I've given up on life and see death as the only option.

[Zipzap61Y]

I've been seeing a counsellor over some work-related issues and a couple of other things and today she told me she noticed that I had indicated that I am sometimes having thoughts of ending my life on the intake form.

She was concerned, of course and enquired further about my thoughts and feelings on the matter. Needless to say, I was rather guarded and careful with my responses, because the last thing I want is to be forcibly taken to hospital,
locked up, and pumped full of drugs I'd rather not take.

But the truth of the matter is, I do have at least a half-baked idea of how I would top myself and getting the means to do it wouldn't take long. I just haven't reached the point yet where my desire to die overrides my basic self-preservation instinct.

So yeah, I can understand why people would tend to be ultra-careful about what they tell their counsellors and doctors on the subject.

[SeekerOfLife]

I tell her if/when it happens. I gave her the ok to ask me anytime she feels I may be thinking harmful thoughts. Good posting.