Faking it

I've recently read tons of posts about people who fake their way through daily life. You know, just slap on a smile and get through the day. How? I can't fake it at all, you can see the hollowness in my face immediately. Only a generous application of makeup will help. Fortunately I have nice eyes and with some mascara and eyeliner they can look quite lovely, but I have to plaster loads of base and concealer to hide the dead look of my skin. As for behavior towards others, I don't even want to speak to anyone, and when I do it's forced and awkward. People can tell that I have nothing to say and that I'm very uncomfortable. I can speak freely to maybe three people. That's about it. On top of that, the actual effort to make myself look decent and be somewhere I don't want to be is monumental.

I fake it all day everyday. Sometimes I try and give people signals but nobody notices me. I just fake a smile so people dont say im being an attention seeker. And I fake it because I dont want to disappoint my family.

I can't fake it. It has been to many years and I am just tired.

I have had to learn first via parental expectations. My sister was/is the sick one and I am the child that no one has to worry about. Now as a military spouse I have had to toe the line. During my husband's last deployment we were told never to distract them from the mission, that if they had to worry about us then they would be distracted and that could put them in harms way. It was a very hard year for me. Later my husband took command and I was expected to take on leadership roles. Motivate spouses, plan events, listen to the cocerns of other spouses and try to present their concerns to the command teams. Most of all I had to make them feel cared for. All the while I was dying inside.

Makeup helps a lot, for a long time I never left the house without it. I would take a deep breath before entering a room and check to make sure my smile reached my eyes. My standard line was: What can I do for you?

I no longer do that, I gave up that position because, it was bad for my mental and physical health, I actually ended up in the hospital and required emergency surgery. Now I have safe zones, my house, a few close friends that also have struggled with mental illness. I still fake it when I need to: official military functions where my abscence would be noticeable and could make my husband look bad.

I am not an advocate of faking it, in my experience you always have to pay for it later, one way or another.

I find it increasingly hard to fake it, especially around people in a social situation (long visits or conversation). I feel like my depression has rendered me basically mute. It's very uncomfortable.

faking it is just a form of a defense mechanism. To keep people from asking questions that you are not ready to answer..... I think it is a self-protection thing that you learn as a child.

That is not to say you do not have long term hurts.... we all just cope in our own way. I am not sure if either way is better or worse. I just just one way of coping (or more accurately avoiding to heal).

I know how you feel
I'm only good at faking it when I want to be, though. And it take an enormous amount of effort.

Unfortunately, I am a pro at faking it. And I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
I do it for 2 reasons:
1) Shame and Guilt. I am so deeply ashamed of how I feel that I don't want anyone to know so I do my best to put on a brave face and act like a person even when I feel like a walking corpse.
2) Necessity. I have bills and if I don't pay them no one will. So I have to force myself out of bed and into work. And when there I have to push myself through every second of the day instead of curling into a ball on the floor and crying like I want to.
Faking it can be very painful for me at times. I feel even more isolated and alone around people. I can still feel all the pain inside me but they can't see it and it's agony to interact with people like that. I get resentful that they are oblivious to my pain which is silly since I'm making every effort to conceal it from them! Just goes to show how our minds can play tricks on us ... I guess I have gotten good at this through years of practice. It started a long time ago as a child/teenager I knew something was wrong w me but didn't know what it was or how to fix it so I just tried to act normal. Later on as an addict there were times when I was miserable but was not ready to accept help so I faked my way through the day assuring everyone that I had never been better. I would say please don't try to develop this coping mechanism it's only ever intensified my pain and it seems to me that letting others know how you feel and asking for help when you need it is a much better plan
-B

I have the same problem. In my area I don't have any friends or family and have been here over a year, so that is part of my problem, but my husband's family lives really close so he has people but since I don't I just feel I have to put on this happy face. I tried talking to him about all of this but he just gets mad. I wish I could be as happy and positive as some people, or at least show it then maybe id start to believe it.

I only fake it when it comes to getting a job etc. I used to all the time, thinking it wasn't fair to make others uncomfortable. but now i generally don't see people that much and if i do i don't mind them thinking i look crappy because i've already told them i've been feeling crappy. the worst is faking it for so long and finally being told it's not your fault, you're ill, you can let go...then seeing people throw around the term 'depression' like it's nothing and think they know what it was like for you all that time...

Hmm... Strangely enough, when I take the time to put on my "happy costume", the tons of makeup, the flat ironed hair, the carefully selected clothing and accessories, no one thinks I'm depressed. I get compliments sometimes, and it's nice. But it's hard to actually get up and do that, and I still am going to come home to nothing, just to wash it all off and crawl into bed again. Now when I open my mouth to speak... That's a whole other issue. It's like when I speak I give off an instant vibe of being weak and malleable and sad. That sort of personality does not do well in a work environment. Now, I have a pretty dicey CV with two wiiiide gaps that I can't explain away. So I guess that the damage is done. That's why I'm asking how it is possible to fake it and be functional. Maybe, if I can just be normal and land a job, I can start to pull other things into place. I don't know if that's possible, and maybe even with employment I'll still feel this way. I just don't know anymore. I'm going to the US this week so I'll have to figure it out fast.

I don't even have the energy to put on make up.
I'm tired of faking it and no longer do.

I fake it everyday. I do it to appear normal. I'm afraid of what people will think or how they will treat me if they find out I'm not firing on all cylinders. My only concern though: do they see the emptiness in my eyes? That's the only thing I can't hide.

I had to fake it as a child in order to survive so it's become a horribly bad habit now that I'm 47. It's exhausting. I think most people would be shocked to learn I'm dysthmic. Most days are a struggle. I can totally understand. Question is - how do I stop?

It is definitely exhausting, and I feel I am certainly guilty of not only using a facade, but mastering it. A few weeks ago I had to attend a cousin's graduation party. The day before I was in bed all day unable to function really because of all the noise I was thinking about. I decided that despite the horrible pit I was buried in that it was absolutely essential that I be there for my cousin. Unacceptable to not show.

I ripped myself from my bed, showered, got dressed, stalled a bit getting caught up in a marathon of River Monsters, and then hopped in my car and drove over to where I knew there were a lot of people gathered. To make things worse, a girl that I had developed some feelings for was there as well, a friend of my cousin.

My point being, at the end of the night her, and everyone else, would never have been able to pick out that there was anything wrong with me. I socialized with everyone, even my little "crush" and for a short while I was invincible.

It takes an enourmous amount of energy and focus to maintain the happy face routine, but I can still pull it off. Do I want to have to use it? Heck no. For me I can force it around family most of the time. There are cracks in the armor, but for the most part I can hold my ground and pretend like nothing is wrong, and it is very deceiving.