[StarStrike]

Well... I went to college for my afternoon math's lesson and learned that I'm only in college on Mondays because I've already earned my certificate and I'm waiting for it to arrive. But I still need to sit my maths exam sometime. So, there goes my reason to get up at a decent time in the morning. Until I have my rabbit, I don't really have a reason to get out of bed before lunch time. My dog and guinea pig are low maintenance animals and pretty much entertain themselves. I've seen my dog play fetch with herself on many occasions. So I'll be moping around the flat until June. *Sigh*

[msbunnyryu]

Just went shopping. It was good. I found a cute black dress to wear for graduation. I didn't find a shoe that will be perfect for the dress though . But, everything was good today.

[NWgirl2013]

Settling in with new drugs for pain on board...and I feel Funky!!! So, now I just have to get off my lazy behind and make an effort to accomplish something. One day at a time. One little step at a time......wish me lucky on today's journey.

[Bigmike727]

Well, I had some good laughs today, so that really brightened my mood. Hopefully it stays this way.

[TheOriginalMe]

I am still so crushingly low, I feel like I am a cigarette butt being ground into the dirt. I was starting to think that dropping the dose of Cymbalta to 30mg wasn't going to affect me too baldy after all, but I think it is begining to hit me now.

[maddnessreturns]

I'm ok today. Been productive. Just kind of have a worry feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[tigerlily84]

Started out really low, but then I felt better. I got a call back from a therapist I called on Friday. She called while I was at work today so I'm about to call her back. Hopefully she'll have room in her practice to see me. Here's hoping. I also got some great support from my mom when I told her that I was trying to see a therapist. She said she was proud of me for recognizing that I needed help. It meant so much to me. I hope all of you are doing well.

[JustTvTroping]

I didn't feel like getting sad today, so I took some St. John's Wort...best decision ever so far-I'm feeling like I can take on the world again! At least for now... Things may be getting better now, but from experience, I won't get my hopes up just yet.

[bronzeowl]

I knew it was too good to be true. Depression always follows me, waiting to strike again. It's back, with a vengeance. Savor the little moments... savor the moments of peace... because Depression is a monster... I feel it pulling me down again.

[eggplantlife]

Kind of like bronzeowl wrote...I feel depression coming back. I was feeling good last week. My depression of 8 years got lifted. I was hopeful. Then this weekend some bad news and I'm starting to feel depressed again. Though, I'm still thinking it's sadness. Have to lift up! God!!! My life needs to lift up! I have to get out of poverty. The family who took me in is going through financial difficulty like might not have a home! This family took me in from the kindness of their big hearts and help me get through depression, so why is god being cruel!

[regretful]

Woke up with the thought that I really don't like the twists and turns of life anymore. Apathetic and depressed...not a good mix at all...

[dandylin]

Better today.

[tokiwartooth]

Not good today. I've been depressed for days now and it isn't going away. I need to see him.

I've been so depressed, I've been just laying in bed for a week, doing nothing but wishing I didn't have to exist. Don't seem to be able to see any light anymore, any hope. I feel sorry because of my son. He shouldn't have to live like this. I don't know how I'm going to force myself up to do some dishes and laundry and find the strength to get to the store. It's been dark and rainy for a week. I have no car, no friends, no life.. I'm so tired of being all alone. My son tries to make me feel better. He says "you have me!", he's right, but it's not the same as another adult, a friend, to encourage me, to share life with. I know why I have no one. I'm not able to be fun, interesting, and all I am is needy and depressing whenever I get the few people on the phone to talk to that I have. They never call me, or follow through on their ideas of doing something with me. I don't want to be so alone anymore. I've tried to feel better, by watching inspirational videos, nothing is helping. I'm getting old, I'm alone, I'm tired, and I feel like giving up and I cant. My life is hopeless. I have nothing but failures to look at. Sorry for the long vent, but I haven't had anyone to talk to in a long time. If anyone would be so kind as to offer a pm, someone to talk to, to help me get through this, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you. Hugs to all others who are feeling so low. I'm just pathetic right now though, I have no desire to get up. I want a better life for my son, and for me to have something to offer the world, and I feel I cant even get up and clean up and make a meal. I've had this strange headache for weeks. I tried cipralex at a low dose and i cant handle the side effects, maybe that's what is triggering this tired exhausted feeling, adn why I'm crying my eyes out at times. I quit it after 5 days, I had swollen eyes and itchiness and trembling twitchy muscles in my face. I definitely didn't like that, and I was feeling like a zombie. But now I'm more depressed

[StarStrike]

My MH team came to see me today. They're only there because of the psychosis. I'll be seeing my psychiatrist next month. I haven't told my team but I gave up fighting against the psychosis. I quit. It's obvious I was meant to tip over the edge. To top it off I feel like utter S**t. I've no interest in life. I've done nothing productive all day. What's the point? Life doesn't get better for me. More stuff just goes wrong than good stuff. And I know a lot of this is the depression talking. But I don't want to fight it anymore. I'd rather let it engulf me because I was meant to end up like this. Broken, confused and in the eyes of others 'a complete and utter freak'.

[chromegirl]

needarealitycheck, does this mean you are not on any meds right now? Please remember that when it comes to finding the right antidepressant, it can take a while, and a good amount of trial and error. Do not give up on medication because you had problems with Cipralex- go back to your doctor and get reassessed.

You sound like you are being very hard on yourself- I have been as depressed as you are now and it is easy to get down on yourself even more when you feel like you are not keeping up with life. At times like that I try to keep everything as simple as possible, just the most basic of basics. Food (I did a lot of convenience/takeout when at my worst), clothing, shelter. I break things down into the most minuscule of tasks, and try to be as gentle and forgiving of myself as possible.

Hugs to you

[chromegirl]

I am cautiously optimistic today- I got a few things done which make me feel like I am starting to be able to keep on top of things. Just silly errands, but it is good because when I am depressed it makes me *more* depressed to let things at home fall apart. Things like, I emptied the dishwasher, and put in the dirty breakfast dishes. Got my tires torqued. Picked up some easy to prepare meals at Costco. Made lunch. Went to therapy.

I am really hoping that this is me beginning to climb out of the hole...it is day 11 on my new meds. I know intellectually it is soon to be seeing an effect, but I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Thank you chromegirl, I really appreciate your response to me, I really do. I'm not on anything right now, besides quetiapine and diazepam for years. Sorry to be talking on this thread again today, but I didn't want to start a new one.

I'm not taking any antidepressant, no, I stopped. I have tried many types before, all have side effects I cant seem to bear. But feeling like this is worse. I still cant make myself do a few simple things.. Thankfully I still have some things for my son to eat, and hopefully get his laundry done sometime. I'm crying and feeling so hopeless..

I just called the nurse counselor, she really didn't help. Guess I cant really see the help if it is there, or I'm too negative. She said the same thing, to try something else. But I've already been there done that, and I think meds aren't hel;pful.. thanks again

Still am having a really hard time feeling very lonely. I don't know why this has become an issue so much over the past week or so. Maybe it's my psyche just telling me that I can't isolate so much anymore. But I don't know what to do about it. My depression is so bad that I can't work or volunteer, and I really don't want to join a club or something to be around people. It's weird that this loneliness has just increased so much lately. It makes life very difficult because I'm alone so much and my husband is around minimally. When he is around, I relish it and cling to him. I'm sure he can sense this. I'm just a big mess!

[healingme4me]

One would think, I'd be upset by new prognosis. My main neurological illness, could be culprit, as well. Maybe, explain those dizzy spells, I'd had? I dunno....there's a whole slew of types, with a.slew of functionality or disabling...so....wait and see, there....
Maybe I'm in shock...

Either way...brought my glum self into his office. Sure, look all myself, on this spring day, although, after this mornings waterworks, sans makeup....went, with lesson learned in therapy...vulnerable, just be myself...whatever the emotion may be...

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[Nammu]

The lamictal is taking so long to build up and tackle the depression. Still I'm better than I was. The latuda took care of the mixed symptoms and the ambien is helping with sleep. I keep name calling myself for not caring and not interested enough to carry out activities I need to be doing. Strangely the latuda or sleep has decreased my anxiety to the point I do less now than I did before, although I can read again, thank goodness.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by needarealitycheck

Sorry to be talking on this thread again today, but I didn't want to start a new one.

Thats what the daily check in is for, no need to be sorry.

Originally Posted by sidestepper

The lamictal is taking so long to build up and tackle the depression. Still I'm better than I was. The latuda took care of the mixed symptoms and the ambien is helping with sleep. I keep name calling myself for not caring and not interested enough to carry out activities I need to be doing. Strangely the latuda or sleep has decreased my anxiety to the point I do less now than I did before, although I can read again, thank goodness.

Sidestepper, I name call myself out loud - - sometimes actually yelling - - for my non-activities related to my depression. Here I thought I was the only one . . .

[tigersassy]

I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I hate my new boss. She is ruining our store.

Tig

[MysteryMade]

(May be TMI - Beware - I have little shame these days)
How am I today?
Ready for this hemorrhoid to be gone.
SO HAPPY it's healing and ending its run.
Worried I haven't passed today; I'm regular. Like clockwork.
Convincing myself it's the stress and worry, and one late one won't hurt.
Literally.
Content that ALL OF THIS focuses my mind away from the fact I'm lonely.
In a house full of people.
That I SWEAR are narcissists without ever being able to admit; Family.
Jobless.
Because I wasn't willing to suck up to the bosses like she was.
And she lied.
Still hurt about that.
Triggered.
Reminded.
Coping.
Coasting.
One day at a time.
That's how I am!